MOTC: Dead Man's Chest
by Rogue238
Summary: This is the Evotised version of Disney's Pirate of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, and the sequel to Mutants of the Caribbean! A bunch more fun! Rated T for a reason, folks! R&R please! Finished!
1. Preproduction

**Disclaimer:** **Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. The part that says I own Raven and Lightning is floating on a piece of driftwood.**

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**A/N:** Another play begins. I hope you all have the time of your lives. I know I will. **To those who haven't read my earlier parodies, Raven LeBeau is the the daughter of Remy and Rogue from my AU dimension Reality 777. She and her boyfriend Lightning come from the future and across dimensions to bring quality. . . er, funny anyways, plays to you, the readers. There are a few things you might want to know about her dimension: 1) She looks like Mystique. 2) She has a little sister named Rachel. 3) Kitty and Piotr have a child codenamed Twinkle. 4) She and Lightning have scared Scott so much in the dimension these plays take place in that he is now permanently afraid of synchronized sentences**. This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here! I love all my reviewers! Hope you enjoy this one just as much! **_Oi, if you haven't seen Pirates 2. . . please do so before reading this chapter because it has spoilers. . ._**

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And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . . 

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Preproduction:

"Another play, another stupid dress. . ." Rogue groans looking at her wardrobe for the sequel. She just knows she's going to play the female lead in this one too. When does she ever _not_ play the female lead.

Remy smiles. "It'll be fun. You'll be in t'e white dress, soaking wet. . . running into Remy's arms." He sighs. It's like Heaven to him.

She glares. "Keep dreamin', Swamp Rat. The dress is too thick ta be see-through."

She actually thinks she hears a popping noise as his day-dream bubble bursts. "A guy can dream, n'est pas?"

She rolls her eyes. "When are they gonna get here so we can get this oveh with?"

In walk two people they've never seen before. They are holding hands and smiling. "Hello, I'm Mary Jane Watson and this is Peter Parker. We'll be your directors this play." The girl is talking.

Kitty's jaw drops. "Are you, like, serious? What happened to Raven and Lightning?"

Jean looks elated, "Maybe I'll get the lead this time!" Mary Jane looks like someone who would understand her.

Gambit and Rogue eye the new directors warily.

"Zis is odd," Kurt says.

Logan growls at them, "Very funny, you two."

Raven and Lightning appear as she shifts them back to normal. Lightning is laughing uncontrollably. She watches him for a moment and then laughs a little herself.

"Alright, peoples," she announces, "We've had our fun. It's time to cast the play."

"There's a lot more people here than last time," Evan complains.

Raven nods, "You are so observant. Someone give him a cookie."

"Condescending, little. . ." Evan starts, but thinks better of it as a certain body cast comes to mind. (1)

Lightning glares. Evan backs up.

"Sweet, glorious directors, I'm so glad to see you both!" Evan says.

Lightning grins.

"Alright, let's begin," his girlfriend says happily. "Most of you should have guessed this is the sequel to the last play, so a lot of you will have the same part. Don't complain about them. Thank you. Rogue will be playing Elizabeth Swann again."

Rogue nods, she was expecting that.

"And, of course, Remy will be playing William Turner," Lightning says.

Remy places his arms around Rogue's shoulder and grins. She glares at him, but accepts his arm. She's pretty much given up defending herself against him.

Pyro is standing holding his hands together in front of him. He really wants the same part as the last play. It was fun.

Raven can hear his thoughts. "Yes, Johnny, you will play Jack Sparrow again."

"Yes!" he makes a scoring movement with his arm.

An army of squirrels marches in and completely surrounds Pyro.

Remy looks confused. "Where did all t'ese squirrels come from?"

Raven looks at him and shrugs, "CatF. She sent them to protect Pyro from you."

"Why?"

"Have ya read the script?" Rogue asks.

"No."

"Don't!" Rogue and Raven say at the same time. Scott goes pale and faints dead away.

"Somebody wake him up!" Raven growls. Her good mood is starting to fade.

"In the meantime," Lightning says, trying to get her mind off of Scott's fainting episode. "Logan will be Joshamee Gibbs again."

"We have new contracts?" Logan asks.

"No," Raven says.

"The old ones say you agree to do the sequels as well," Lightning informs him.

Jean wakes Scott. Raven smiles, "Scott will be James Norrington."

He nods weakly.

"Magneto," Lightning says, "You're Barbossa again."

Magneto nods, he's seen the movie, it's a small part. He's happy.

"Xavier will play Weatherby Swann," Raven announces.

Xavier sighs. There's no way out of this.

"Jean-Luc will play Bootstrap Bill," Lightning says.

"What is he doing here?" Remy growls.

"Hey!" Tabby says, "if_ I_ had to put up with _my_ good-for-nothing father in the last play, _you_ have to put up with _your_ good-for-nothing father in this one!"

"You gonna let t'at fille talk about your papa t'at way, son?" Jean-Luc asks Remy.

"Truth hurts, eh Papa?" Remy smirks.

Raven raises an eyebrow, "Don't make me separate you."

"You're finding this amusing?" Lightning asks her.

"Well, I never _do_ get to see Jean-Luc very often at home," she explains.

He nods.

"Moving on," Raven announces. "Tia Dalma will be played by Ororo Munroe."

Wanda looks disappointed.

"I'm sorry," Raven says, "We wanted to give you the part, but we just couldn't."

"It's okay, I don't want it," she lies.

Lightning shakes his head, "Girls."

Raven looks at him out of the corner of her eyes, "What was that?"

"Well, I just don't understand them," Lightning says.

"You don't need to," Raven says.

"But I _want_ to," he says.

"No, you don't." she says angrily.

"Yes, I _do_!" he insists.

"I _could_ make you think you were a girl," she says flatly. "Then you'd understand them."

"Okay, next part!" Lightning says, "Pintel is Lance again!"

Raven nods, "Wise decision. Ragetti is Toad."

Lance groans, but Toad looks happy.

"Pietro," Lightning keeps reading from his clipboard, "You will be Cutler Beckett."

Pietro looks pleased. This is a rather big part.

"Mercer will be played by Bolivar Trask," Raven says.

"Bolivar Trask!" half the mutants exclaim. Scott screams.

She shrugs. "It fits."

Lightning continues, "We didn't cast Marty last time and that has turned out to be a mistake, so that part will be played by Dorian Leech."

"Piotr will keep his role as Cotton as will the IAR Parrot," Raven says.

Piotr nods from his place beside Kitty.

"Bellamy will be played by Hank, since his character doesn't return until the next movie," Lightning says.

"Alright," agrees Beast.

"Leech will be played by Samuel Guthrie," Raven says.

"Yeah!" Sam cries out. "What, at least I have more lines."

"Your character still dies. . ." Rahne tells him.

"So what, it's just a play," he says. "And I have more lines!"

Lighting decides to move on, "LeJon will be played by Blob."

Freddy grins, eating popcorn from the table. "I have a line this time."

Remy looks confused, "Has _everyone_ read this script but me?"

"Yes," Rogue says.

"Yup," Kitty says.

"Pretty much," Johnny says.

"Greenbeard will be played by none other than the Juggernaut," Raven says lightly.

Cain, himself, is growling in a corner without his helmet, and being held still only by Raven's powers.

"Bobby, you get to be Hadras," Lightning says.

Bobby stares at him blankly.

"The one with the shell for a head," Lightning says.

Bobby groans, "and how am I going to do that?"

"Makeup, naturally," Raven says.

"Naturally," Lightning agrees.

"Mesmero will be Jimmylegs," Raven says.

"Evan will be Koleniko," Lightning says.

"And he is?" Evan asks.

"The one with the spikes on his face, of course," Raven says, rolling her yellow eyes. "Next part is Maccus which will be played by Legion."

"Legion!" Xavier says and turns his head looking for him.

"Hello, Daddy," Legion says sarcastically, waving at him. He's standing beside Gabrielle.

"Is there a reason my ex-wife is here?" Xavier asks Raven.

"Yes, dear, dear Charles," Raven says.

"Are you going to tell me what that reason is?" he asks.

"Not just yet," she says.

Lightning interrupts, "Lucid will play Oglivey."

"And Facade will play Palifico," Raven says.

"Wyvern will be played by Caliban," Lightning continues.

"The Bursar will be played by Roberto," Raven says.

"So, naturally, Ray will play the Quartermaster," Lightning says.

They nod. They were wondering if they had parts this time.

"There are two other men with speaking parts on that boat," Raven says. "They will be played by Arcade and Mr. Spears."

Evan glares at Guy Spears who smirks back at him.

"Kurt, Mastermind, and Cody will play the prisoners this time," Lightning says.

"Vhy does Mesmero get a bigger part?" Kurt asks.

"You'll find out later," Raven says. "Rahne, you will play the little girl in the beginning and also the dog again."

"Woof," Rahne says sarcastically. "What? Like you all didn't see that coming?"

"Tabby will keep her role as Scarlett," Lightning says, ignoring her.

"And Mystique will play the part of Giselle again," Raven says.

"Captain Hawkins, though he doesn't have a speaking part, will be played by Principal Kelly," Lightning says.

The group cheers. Scott shudders.

"Warren, you'll be the one who orders the prisoners around and the guy who leads Will into Beckett's office," Raven says.

Warren shrugs and stretches his wings, "At least I get some screen time. . ."

"Okay, moving on," Lightning says, "Alex will play the first guy with information about Jack in Tortuga"

"Omega Red will play the second," Raven says.

"Sabretooth will play the third," Lightning says before Logan can object to them bringing in Omega Red.

"Julien will be Sabretooth's brother," Raven says.

"The old man who signs onto Jack's crew will be Black Eagle," Lightning says.

The man without a dog will be played by Tabby's father," Raven says.

Tabby groans.

"The lame man will be played by Evan's father," Lightning continues.

Evan smiles at his dad.

"The man who wants to sail will be played by Jean's father," Raven says.

"Daddy!" Jean squeals, rushing over to hug him.

"Jean!" he hugs her back.

"How touching. . ." Raven deadpans.

"Ah was thinkin' the same thing," Rogue says.

"Oh, like you're not that bad with _your _father," Lightning says.

"I'm not," Raven says.

He gives her a look.

"And even if I were, it's different with my Papa," she says.

"How so?" he asks.

"My Papa's cool," she grins.

Remy grins too.

Jean glares at her. "My dad is cool too!"

"Mine's a mutant."

"My dad was the captain of the football team!" Jean argues.

"My papa can pick any lock known on earth."

Jean keeps trying, "My dad is the head of his company!"

Raven points at Gambit, "My father. . ."

Jean has nothing to say.

"I win," she says, in a much better mood.

"You were arguing with Jean Grey," Lightning groans.

"I won, didn't I?" Raven says.

"Whatever, let's get back to casting. . ." Lightning says, "The Tribesman who lights the fire will be played by Amanda's father."

"The tribesman who watches the cage fall will be played by Kitty's father," Raven says.

"Jaime will play the tribal child," Lightning flips a page in his clipboard, "Wow there are a lot of parts."

"Which is why it's so crowded," his girlfriend reminds him. "Amara will play the tribeswoman who hangs the necklace on Jack's neck."

Amara glares.

"You can pretend she's the princess," Lightning says.

Amara smiles.

"Wanda will play the tribeswoman who catches the coconut," He returns to the casting. "Dani, you can be the girl with her."

Wanda and Danielle nod.

"The five woman in the bar in Tortuga will be played by Jean, Kitty, Jubilee, Taryn and Amanda," Raven tells them.

"The woman holding candles near the end will be played by Agatha Harkness, Destiny, X23, Amanda's Mom, Evan's Mom, Gabrielle Haller, Jean's Mom, Jean's sister, Dorian's Mom, Callisto, Cybelle, Dr. Risman, Viper, and Kitty's Mom," Lightning says, "and I think that's it."

"No, there's one part left," Raven tells him. "Davy Jones."

"Oh, yeah. . . _him_," Lightning sighs, "Are you sure we can't leave that part out?"

"No, I don't think we can," Raven says, shaking her head.

"But. . ."

"No buts," Raven insists. "He has an adamantium-lined contract, same as all the other cast."

"But. . . are you sure this is a wise decision?"

She glares at him. "We have an understanding. He won't try to take over the world, and I won't put him back in that box."

"Shock collars?"

She shakes her head, "That only works on Wolverine and Sabretooth. We have an understanding."

"Would someone just say it and get it over with?" Logan growls.

In the room, there is suddenly an ominous feel. The lights flicker, the shadows dance. A glowing figure floats into the doorway.

"The part of Davy Jones has been given to En Sabah Nur," Raven announces.

Half of the room faints. Magneto lunges at him. Apocalypse knocks him across the room with one wave of his mighty hand.

"I. . . I think . . . maybe Lightning was right about this. . ." Scott says.

Raven turns to glare at Cyclops. "Nur and I have an understanding. Don't we, Nur?"

Apocalypse nods his head and floats down to the floor.

Lightning leans over to her, "He doesn't talk as much in this dimension."

"I've noticed," she says.

"Is he still . . ?"

"Don't talk about our dimension, Lawr, dear," she reprimands.

He shrugs. "This is gonna get messy. . ."

"Just how I like it," she grins evilly.

The other half of the room faints.

"Well, at least it's not chaos this time," Lightning says.

She nods. "Alright, I think we can go. Remember our agreement, Nur."

He nods and picks up Mesmero by the scruff of the neck, "Wake up, you fool."

Lightning and Raven are gone and then all our favorite, and not so favorite, characters are left alone with Apocalypse.

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To be continued. . .

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**A/N:** (1) Evan was beat up and put in a body cast by Raven during Mutants of the Caribbean. 

Well, were you all expecting that? You should have been. I gave out two very strong hints in the last play. So many parts! Wow, why do I do it to myself? I don't know. I guess you guys deserve it. . . Besides, I found a website with a list of all their names. Not all the parts in the movie are cast, but those are very small and will be played by Random Extras! I love Random Extras. Why doesn't Forge have a part? Cause he has to run the IAR Birds and Monkeys! Woohoo! Yeah for Forge's Incredible Animatronic Robots! Sit down, sit still and get ready for a wild ride, cause this is going to be fun!

Please Review!


	2. Canceled Dreams

**Disclaimer:** **Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. He also took the part that acknowledges that I do not own Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds" or Purell. The part that says I own Raven and Lightning is floating on a piece of driftwood.**

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**A/N:** This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!

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And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . .

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Scene 1: Canceled Dreams

Raven and Lightning walk in to find all the cast in neat little lines, all in the proper costumes. Raven is pleased.

"Well, isn't _this_ a nice surprise!" she exclaimed.

Apocalypse nods at her.

She grins. "Thank you, Nur."

"Ah hate this dress," Rogue mumbles.

"Don't worry," Lightning tells her.

"You won't have to wear it long," Raven says.

"Yes," her boyfriend agrees. "Elizabeth wears pants a lot of the time in this movie."

Rogue grins, "Well, _that's_ good news."

Raven smiles at the neat lines filled with very scared little cast members. She hands the same power inhibitor from the last play back to Rogue, who's very happy to see it. "I guess there's nothing left to do but begin the play."

"Let's start then," Lightning says merrily.

"Lights!" The lights come on as if by themselves. "Camera," the camera turns on as if by magic. "Action!"

The rain is falling on what remains of a beautiful banquet. The rain is heavy, thanks to Storm, making the sound of bells against the hand-painted china teacups. Beside the banquet is the remains of what had been a rather elaborate wedding. The sheet music drenched and barely hanging on to the stands in front of seats where earlier had sat musicians. Rogue sits in a wedding dress, holding her bouquet and staring in front of her absently. It's obvious from the look on her face that the rain had not been what ruined her wedding.

The scene changes and Pietro is sitting on an IAR horse. (1) The IAR horse is sitting on a boat, rowed by several random soldier extras. There are dozens of boats. The flag waving above the ships they've come from show the symbol of the East India Trading Company.

Rogue is still staring into space while they pull the boats onto the shore and the random soldier extras fill the streets. Rahne is watching from the doorway, but is pulled back, out of the way and the door is shut. Pietro rides in front of the soldiers as they stand at attention.

A man walks into the ruined wedding aisle.

More random soldier extras fill the streets.

Rogue looks back toward the man who's appeared.

The soldiers are headed towards Mr. Smith's Blacksmith shop. They knock down the doors.

A handcuff falls open in a random soldier extra's hand.

Rogue runs past the man.

Random soldier extras are leading Remy in chains. She runs to him. "Remy! Why is this happenin'?"

"Remy don't know," he replies. She trying not to cry. "You look beautiful."

Rogue smiles for an instant and then the frown returns, "I think it's bad luck fer the groom ta see the bride before the weddin'."

"Make way! Let me through!" Xavier cries out as he pushes the wooden wheel chair through the crowd of extras. A couple of random soldier extras bar his way with spears. "How dare you!" He looks to Pietro, "Stand your men down at once! Do you hear me?"

Pietro turns around and shrugs his coat off, handing it to Bolivar Trask. "GovernorCharlesXavier, it'sbeentoolong."

"Pietro Maximoff?" Xavier says, pretending to be surprised.

"It'sLordnow, actually," Pietro says with an unscripted-grin. He nods at his men, who remove the spears.

Xavier wheels through. "Lord or not, you have no reason and no authority to arrest this man." He steeples his fingers.

"Infact, Ido," Pietro informs him, "Mr.Trask?" Trask opens a briefcase-like thing and Pietro pulls out a warrant. "ThewarrantforthearrestofoneRemyLeBeau." He hands it to Xavier.

Xavier looks at it and Rogue, who is holding onto Remy's arm, looks helplessly at Remy. "This warrant is for the arrest of Anna Xavier."

"Oh,isit? Howannoying. Mymistake." He pulls out another. "Arresther."

Random soldier extras follow his orders. Pietro is really enjoying this part.

"On what charges?" Rogue asks.

"Non!" Remy growls, trying to stop them while he's bound and she's dragged away from him.

"Aha!" Pietro exclaims, "Here'stheoneforRemyLeBeau. AndIhaveanotheronefora Mr. Scott Summers." he reads the name louder, slower, holding the warrant above his head and stepping forward. "Ishepresent?"

"What are the charges?" Rogue demands.

"Commodore Summers resigned his commission some months ago," Xavier explains.

"Idon'tbelievethat'stheanswertothequestionIasked," Pietro says snootily.

"Lord Maximoff," here Remy and a lot of the crew start laughing.

"What is the problem?" Raven growns.

""Well. . . calling Pietro Lord Maximoff is just too funny," Remy explains.

"Ithinkthetitlekindoffits," Pietro says, puffing out his rather thin chest. "PietroMaximoff, LordofSpeed!"

Raven rolls her eyes. "Can we just get back to the play?"

Remy nods, still laughing. When he calms down, he tries again. "Lord Maximoff," he manages with a giggle. "In the category of questions not answered. . ."

Rogue cuts him off, "We are undeh the jurisdiction of the king's governoh of Port Royal and y'all will tell us what we are charged with." She speaks with more authority than Pietro can muster.

Professor Xavier sees fit to answer her question, "The charge is 'conspiring to set free a man convicted of crimes against the Crown and Empire and condemned to death, for which the'. . ." he stops reading and his lips trembles.

"Forwhichthepunishment, regrettably, is_also_death," Pietro finishes. He steps forward into Remy's face. "PerhapsyourememberacertainpiratenamedSt.JohnAllerdyce?"

"Captain," Remy and Rogue say in unison. Off screen, Scott screams in terror.

"_Captain_ St. John Allerdyce," Rogue insists.

"_Captain_St.JohnAllerdyce," Pietro repeats. "Yes, Ithoughtyoumight."

The scene changes. It's now dark and the wind blows eerily across the _Black Pearl_, knocking the riggings back and forth. Off stage, Logan is chanting, "Fifteen men on a dead man's chest. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum." The ship creaks and the sails billow in the creepy dark night. Logan comes walking on the deck, still chanting, "Drink and the devil had done for the rest. Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of rum," here he pauses, laughing, to take a swig of tea from the rum bottle he's carrying.

Out of the cold, black night the loud sound of a large brass bell tolling reaches his ears. He jumps, as he wasn't expecting it, and looks behind him, spooked. A bird caws above him and his eyes follow the sound.

A flock of IAR ravens are flying above him, the likes of which haven't been seen since Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds." He shudders, without knowing why.

The camera follows the IAR birds now as they fly towards the gong-like ring of the bell, cawing. They are flying towards a rather steep archway. Torches line the dark mountain going up the archway and over the bridge to the other side. It's a prison. A dark, dreary sort of prison. The kind of prison you know upon entering, you will never leave.

Warren's voice is heard, "prisoners, come on!"

A line of random extras answer his call with moans of agony. They are dirty, wounded, tired and chained together. The gloom of the place breaks even the last shred of spirit they had left. At the end of the line, two random prison guard extras drag a random extra along. He's too weak to stand and the fear in his eyes radiates out. He screams at every bump, too weak to try to escape. His legs are chained as well. Cages line the entrance of the prison. Inside are random extras, some alive, some barely alive, most are dead props, long dead. . .

It is to these cages the IAR birds come, to the meal they sense inside them, to the smell of death. Those who are alive scream in terror as the IAR birds peck the flesh from their bodies. Well, technically, it's make-up, but it looks bad. The IAR ravens peck and pull and the flapping of wings and the fear and the screaming is too much for the dragged random extra. He screams as the pull him the last of the way into the prison and shut the gates behind him. It's an ominous sight. The huge wooden doors that take two large random extras to close them, locking the prisoners in, to die.

Further down the coast, away from the cliffs, the random prison guard extras are hard at work. They've taken a heavy cart, loaded with coffins, and dumped it's contents onto the coast. Now, they are lifting the mostly empty coffins and tossing them into the ocean. This too is a dark and foreboding sight. They lift, carry and toss in a seemingly endless routine.

The coffins float away gently tossed by the waves until they will eventually sink or reach some distant shore.

After a distance, when the waves are quieter and naught can be seen but the other coffins, the salt water and the moon, an IAR raven flies into view. It lands on one of the coffins and knocks. The blast of a blank gun feels the air, but the IAR bird just sits there.

"Okay, okay, why didn't the bird blow up?" Raven growns.

Forge looks hurt, "All this time, you're telling me to keep them from exploding and now you _want _it to blow up?"

"Yes, because Pyro needs air! Fix this!" she shouts.

Forge backs away and pushes a button. This time when the blank gun goes off again, the IAR raven explodes, leaving a hole in the coffin and a ton of feathers.

Pyro sits up, gasping for air and a rather angry glare in Forge's direction.

Forge simply shrugs, "Sorry, man."

Raven also glares at Forge. He's interrupting, and we all know how she feels about being interrupted.

Pyro lays back down and sticks the gun through the hole, moves it around the coffin cautiously, then sits up. He pulls out his hat, straightens it and puts it on his head, feeling the thrill of being a pirate again, and such a pirate! He looks around for something to use as an oar and sees nothing. Sadly, he reaches in the coffin. "Sorry, mate." He breaks off the leg above the knee and pulls it out. "Mind if we make a little side trip?" He uses the decayed limb as a paddle and rows toward the waiting ship. "Didn't think so."

Logan reaches a hand to help Pyro on deck, but his hand is instead filled with the leg-oar and Pyro climbs up by himself. Logan looks disgustedly at the leg and tells him, "Not quite according to plan, bub."

"Complications arose, ensued, were overcome," is Pyro's rather ridiculous response. He walks off, not intending on giving Wolverine any more of his time.

Logan isn't satisfied and he feels like he knows what Pyro's answer means better than Pyro does. He hands the leg-oar to Piotr who grimaces, and follows our resident fire-worshiping pirate. "Ya got what ya went for, then?"

"Mm-hm," Pyro barely responds, waving a bit of rolled up canvas in the air. He turns around and stops.

He stops because Sam, Blob and a handful of RPEs (random pirate extras) are blocking his way. Leech is siting on some crates. Piotr has also followed after dropping the leg-oar into the ocean and washing his hands with Purell. Logan continues, "Captain, boy that sounds weird."

Lightning groans, "Just say the line, Logan."

Logan starts over, "Captain, I think the crew, meaning me as well, were expecting something a bit more. . . shiny, what with the Isla de Muerta going all pear-shaped, reclaimed by the sea and the treasure with it."

Sam agrees, "And the Royal Navy chasin' us all around the Atlantic."

"And the hurricane," Leech cries out.

"Aye!" the crew yells. Scott whimpers and sucks on his thumb while Jean rolls her eyes and pats his back.

"All in all, it seems some time since we did a speck of honest pirating," Logan remarks.

"Shiny," Pyro says.

"Aye, shiny," nods Logan.

"Is that how you're all feeling, mates?" Pyro asks. "That perhaps dear old Johnny is not serving your best interests as captain?" His words are slurred as if Pyro has been drinking heavily.

Sam looks around. No one wants to say anything.

The IAR parrot squawks and says, "Walk the plank."

Piotr instantly clamps the IAR bird's beak shut as Pyro draws his blank gun. "What did the bird say?" Pyro yells it.

"Don't blame the bird," Sam sighs. "Show us what's on that piece of cloth there."

Just then the IAR skeleton monkey drops out of nowhere in front of Pyro's face, screeching. Pyro screams and tries to shoot it, but his blank gun misfires and the IAR monkey grabs the canvas and runs. Pyro grabs Sam's gun and shoots the IAR monkey. Hit, it tumbles across the deck, dropping the canvas.

"You know that don't do no good," Logan growls, more than a little annoyed.

"It does me," Johnny growls back, imagining lovely little burning monkeys.

Leech jumps down and grabs the canvas, which is now open and stares at it, confused. "It's a key."

"No!" Pyro exclaims, "Much more better." Jean cringes at the misuse of grammer, but knows better than to say anything. Pyro continues, "It is a drawing of a key." He sways as he speaks and slurs his words.

Our mutant crew is highly confused. They all step closer and look at the drawing that Pyro has snatched back from Leech.

"Gentlemen," Pyro says, in his best speech voice, "what do keys do?"

Sam starts, "keys. . ." Logan, pretending to be confused by Pyro's picture, looks back at Sam, who continues, "unlock things?"

Logan looks back at Johnny, "And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuable. So, we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks."

"No," Pyro disagrees, pointing at him.

Logan shakes his head.

Pyro walks up to him, "If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?"

"So, is anyone else completely confused?" Bobby asks.

"No, Bobby, you're the only moron around here," Jubilee exclaims.

"I'm confused," Evan says.

"That goes without saying," Raven chimes in.

Bobby glances at her. Her eyes are glowing eerily. "Interrupting again, huh?"

She nods.

Bobby quickly says, "shutting up!"

"Good. Logan?"

"So we're going after this key?" Logan asks.

"You're not making any sense at all," Pyro states. He looks at the rest of the crew. "Any more questions?"

"So. . ." Leech tries to think up one. "Do we have a heading?" He asks excitedly.

"Ha. A heading," says our insane pyromaniac. He takes out his compass and looks at it. "Set sail in a. . ." The compass needle is spinning in every which way. ". . . general. . . " after moving his hand in circles for a while, he decides and points to his left, "that-way direction."

"Captain?" Logan says, still confused.

"Come on, snap to and make sail. You know how this works. Go on! Oi, oi, oi!" Saint John orders as he pushes his way through the crowd to his cabin.

Leech makes his way to the rails and Logan follows, "Have you noticed lately the captain seems to be acting a bit strange. . . er?" He shrugs.

"Setting sail without knowing his own heading," Logan nods his head. "Something's got Johnny vexed, and mark my words, what bodes ill for St. John Allerdyce bodes ill for us all."

The ship sails through the fog in a general. . . that-way direction, just as John ordered.

The scene changes and a random extra paints on a giant wall map. We are now inside Pietro's office. Two random soldier extras walk in and stand at attention by the door. Warren leads Remy in. Pietro is looking over some paperwork with Boliver Trask.

Warren announces, "Lord Maximoff," here he giggles, "the prisoner as ordered, sir." Another giggle follows.

Pietro glares at him. "Thosewon'tbenecessary."

"What? T'e chains or t'e giggles?" Remy asks.

Pietro deadpans, "neither."

Warren removes Remy's chains while Pietro pours a decanter of tea into a goblet.

Pietro turns to Remy, "TheEastIndiaTradingCompany hasneedofyourservices." He offers the glass to Gambit, who merely glares back. So, he sets it down and walks around. "Wewishforyou toactasouragent inabusinesstransaction withourmutualfriend CaptainSt.John."

"More acquaintance t'an friend. How do you know him?" Remy asks.

"We'vehaddealingsinthepast," Quicksilver explains. (2) He holds up a red hot brand in the shape of the letter P. "andwe'veeachleftourmarkontheother."

"What mark did he leave on you, homme?" Remy demands.

Pietro stares at the now-cool brand with a faraway look in his eyes. "Byyourefforts, St.JohnAllerdycewassetfree." Pietro sets the brand down and walks back to Remy, ignoring the question entirely. "Iwouldlikeyoutogotohim andrecoveracertainpropertyinhispossession."

"Recover. At t'e point of a sword?" Remy asks.

"Bargain," Pietro counters. He goes to find a box with the symbol of the East India Trading Company on it and opening it, pulls out an official looking leather folder. "Lettersofmarque." He says, holding them up. "Youwillofferwhatamountstoafullpardon. St.Johnwillbefree, aprivateerintheemployofBayville." He opens the pardon and looks at it.

Remy hardly seems amused, "Somehow Remy doubts Johnny will consider employment t'e same as bein' free."

Pietro scoffs, "freedom. St.JohnAllerdyceisadyingbreed," he states, walking out onto the balcony. Random soldier extras march in formation up and down the docks. "Theworldisshrinking, waytooslowly, butshrinking, theblankedgesofthemaparefilledin."

"Enough with the adlibbing Pietro," Lightning whines.

"But. . ."

"No buts," Raven growls, "or I'll sick _him_ on you." She gestures to the silent, waiting figure in the darkness.

Pietro gulps, "Um, yeah, wordforwordscriptreadinghere!"

"Thank you," Raven and Lightning both say. Scott start crying. . . again.

"St.JohnmustfindhisplaceintheNewWorldorperish," Pietro says. "Notunlikeyou, Mr.LeBeau."

"Mr.LeBeau be Remy's pere," Gambit growls, having followed Quicksilver to the balcony.

Pietro growls at the interruption, "Youandyourfianceefacethehangman'snoose."

"So you get Johnny and t'e _Black Pearl_."

"The_BlackPearl_?" Pietro asks.

"T'e property you want t'at he possesses," Remy states.

"Aship? Hardly," Pietro says. "Theiteminquestionisconsiderablysmaller andfarmorevaluable, somethingAllerdyce keepsonhispersonatalltimes. Acompass?" Remy remembers and looks out to the harbour. "Ah, youknowit." Pietro leans in and says, "Bringbackthatcompass orthere'snodeal." He nods and leaves Remy standing on the balcony, watching the random soldier extras march up and down the dock.

"And cut!" Raven exclaims.

"HowcomeGambitcanadlib andIcan't?" Pietro practically screams.

"Do you really have to ask that?" Lightning groans.

Raven simply raises an eyebrow.

"Howcome?" He insists.

Remy smiles at the directors, "Because la fille is a Daddy's girl."

Raven smiles at him, "Exactly."

Julien groans, "Dis is ridiculous."

Remy turns on him, "You want ta start somet'ing?"

Julien gets defensive, "I always be ready ta start somet'ing!"

Rogue rolls her eyes, "Can Ah take off the dress yet?"

Raven nods, "Yes, but don't destroy it. We need it for several more scenes."

Rogue groans.

Kitty comments, "Well, you watched the movie, you should understand."

Rogue nods, "But understandin' and wantin' ta do it are two very different things."

Kitty giggles.

Fights are beginning to break out, well, besides Julien and Remy. Piotr and Lance are fighting over Kitty, again. . . Scott is arguing with Kurt. Fred is just trying to eat. Tabby and her Dad are fighting and a few props are being destroyed. Mystique, Xavier and Magneto are arguing. Calisto and Storm are fighting and soon the whole set is drenched. Not to mention one or five petty little fights on the side.

Raven groans, "I knew this would happen. . . It always happens."

Lightning pipes up, "What happened to 'Nur will solve everything?'"

Raven points to the corner where Apocalypse and Mesmero are arguing too, "_That's_ what happened!"

Lighting sighs, "Oh, well, then, let's just leave now."

Raven agrees and off they go, leaving the destruction behind.

* * *

To be continued. . .

* * *

**A/N:** (1) Sorry, folks, no Rob/Ray horse this time.

(2) ROFLOL – Quicksilver explains. . . oh my goodness. . . too funny. Sorry, back to reality.

Seriously, did not mean for this to take so long, but I lost my aunt and my grandpa in one month and the same month my daughter very nearly died. So, I've been trying to let myself grieve a little or my writing wouldn't be very funny. Incredibly sorry, I've also started a new job and burnt my hand while I was writing this! Oi. Anyways, here it is. These may take a while to write because the chapters are long.

Next up, Jean-Luc makes his debut!


	3. Wanted Souls

Disclaimer: Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. Not to mention the part that says I definitely don't own Star Trek: TNG. The part that says I own Raven and Lightning is floating on a piece of driftwood.

* * *

A/N: I believe I promised Jean-Luc in this chapter. You won't be disappointed. evil grin A chapter filled with Cajuny goodness. ;) 

This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!

* * *

And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . . 

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Scene 2: Wanted Souls

Raven and Lightning walk in yawning.

"See," Lightning says, "a good night's rest is all we needed."

Raven rolls her eyes, "yeah, now how do we explain the fountain?"

Lightning pauses to think, "Um. . . sentinels?"

"Oh yeah, my parents will really believe that."

"Well, it's not my fault your parents are smart."

"But it _is_ your fault that the fountain got smashed." Raven says, with her arms crossed.

He just grins and shakes his head, "We'll think of something."

Raven shrugs and notices all the blank faces around her. "Don't ask. . ."

"Trust me, we weren't about to. . ." Bobby says.

"Well," Raven says, "Maybe they can learn."

Lightning starts laughing while she shakes her head.

Gambit walks by, reading a copy of the full script.

"No!" Raven screams, pointing at him.

"Somebody stop him!"

And a big fuss begins, consisting of several mutants chasing Remy around, trying to get the script away. Finally, Rogue walks up behind him.

"Remy, sugah?" she says.

"Oui, cherie," he says, holding the script out of reach.

"Can Ah borrow a deck av cards? Ah wanna play strip pokeh."

"Oh, sure, sure, hold t'is." He hands her the script while he digs for a deck. Suddenly, he realizes what she said. "Wait. . . strip poker?"

Rogue just grins evilly and hands the script to Raven, "Sometimes Cajun, ya just make this too easy. . ." She shakes her head.

Raven grins merrily and goes to her seat, "Well, let's start the play! Lights! Camera! Action!"

The camera finds us in Pyro's office aboard the _Pearl_. He's sitting at his desk, using a compass on a map. The camera zooms in on the P shaped scar. He taps the compass and it moves back and forth and finally settles on the rum bottle across the table. Pyro sighs and reaches for the bottle. He looks inside and grimaces, turns the bottle over and allows the last few drops of tea to fall on the map. "Why is the rum always gone?" he asks the empty room. He stands up and nearly falls over getting to his hat. "Oh," he says as he puts it on, "that's why."

Outside his office, Piotr, Leech and the IAR parrot all share a hammock while he walks past them, heading for the rum cellar. They pretend to be asleep and snoring terribly. Everyone in the whole room is pretending to be fast asleep.

Pyro is holding a lantern, "As you were, mates." Down the stairs he goes and unlocks the door to the rum cellar. He smiles at the dark room and walks up to a rack, only to find barnacles instead of rum. He spies one last bottle and grabs it, only to have a bunch of sand pour out of it.

Off screen a voice whispers, "Time's running out, St. John."

Frightened, Johnny turns quickly, dropping the bottle with a crash. He lifts the lantern and takes a slow step into the darkness. He sees something that looks half like a man and half like a barnacle itself sitting in a corner. He slowly approaches, curious, but fearful at the same time. As he gets closer, he recognises the man, "Bootstrap. John LeBeau."

"C'est Jean-Luc," Remy's father says.

"Like Jean-Luc Picard?" Bobby asks.

Jean-Luc rolls his eyes, "Dis isn't Star Trek, boy."

Bobby finds himself floating up to a high beam. "Oi, I should have just kept my mouth shut. . ."

Raven's glowing yellow eyes turn to the two men on the set. She says very sweetly, "Jean-Luc, if you don't mind, for the remainder of this play you will be known as Bootstrap John LeBeau, or I will take those IAR barnacles from the set and shove them telekinetically down your slimy, thieving throat."

Remy grins, "T'at's Remy's girl."

Jean-Luc gulps, "Oui, I t'ink I can live wit' John. . ."

"Very well then," Lightning says.

"Back to the play," Raven finishes.

"John LeBeau," Pyro repeats.

Jean-Luc looks at him and Pyro backs up because half of Jean-Luc's face is covered in barnacles and coral. Water pours out of his mouth as he says, "Y' look bien, St. John."

Pyro stands up, "Is this a dream?"

Jean-Luc shakes his head and says flatly, "non."

"I thought not," Pyro replies. "If it were, there'd be rum." He sets the lantern down on a barrel and Jean-Luc holds out his hand in which a bottle of rum is attached. Johnny has a hard time prying it out of his hand and even then, Jean-Luc's hand stays in the same shape as he lowers his arm to his side.

"Y' got de Pearl back, I see," he states.

"I had some help retrieving the Pearl, by the way," Pyro answers. "Your son."

"Remy?" Jean-Luc whispers as Pyro takes a drink of the tea in the rum bottle. "He end up a pirate after all," he says sadly.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of your carbuncle? Okay, I really can't let this one go, mates. . . What the hay does carbuncle mean?"

Hank opens his mouth, but Raven cuts him off, "It means a rounded red gem, and no, it doesn't make any sense in this context, but it is a play on words; he said carbuncle instead of company."

"Oh. . . okay," he says nodding.

"Got it?" she asks sweetly.

He nods, "Yup, sure do."

"Good," she says before hitting him with her TK over the head with a loose board.

"Back to the play!" Raven and Lightning both yell. Scott screams rather loudly.

"He sent me," Jean-Luc replies, and when all he receives is a blank look from Pyro, he adds, "Apocalypse."

"Oh," Pyro manages. "So it's you, then. He shanghaied you into service, eh?"

"I chose it," Jean-Luc informs him. "I'm sorry for de part I played in de mutiny against y', St. John." A snail crawls aways from him and he catches it. "I stood up for y'." He lifts it up. "Everyt'ing went wrong after dat." he puts the snail in his mouth and eats it.

Jean throws up.

Pyro looks a little green around the gills, but manages to hold his cookies after all.

"Dey strapped me t' a cannon," Jean-Luc continues. "I end up on de bottom o' de ocean, de weight o' de water crushin' down on m'. Unable t' move. Unable t' die, St. John. Et I t'ought dat even de tiniest hope o' escapin' dis fate, I would take it, n'est pas? I would trade anyt'ing for it."

Pyro passes the bottle of "rum" back to Jean-Luc. "It's funny what a man will do to forestall his final judgement." He stands up and starts walking away.

Suddenly, with Pietro's help, Jean-Luc is standing in front of John, blocking the way. "Y' made a deal wit' him too, St. John. He raised de Pearl from the dept's for y'. T'irteen years you've been her captain."

"Technically. . ." Johnny starts.

"Johnny," Jean-Luc insists. "Y' won't be able t' talk y'r way out o' dis. De terms what applied t' m' apply t' y' as well. One soul bound t' crew 100 years upon his ship."

"Yes, but the Flying Dutchman already has a captain. So there's really no. . ."

Jean-Luc interrupts, yelling, "Den it's de locker for y'! Apocalypse's terrible leviathan will find y' et drag de Pearl back t' de dept's et y' along wit' it."

Nervously, Pyro asks, "any idea when Apocalypse will release said terrible beastie?"

"I already told y', St. John," Jean-Luc says, grabbing Pyro's hand and clapping it with his other hand. "Y'r time is up." He closes Pyro's hand and says, "It comes now," before walking away, "drawn wit' ravenous hunger t' de man what bears de black spot."

Pyro opens his hand and sees a black spot appear, thanks to Pietro, as Kitty reaches through the set and pulls Jean-Luc through the ship's hull. Pyro freaks out and runs to the deck. "On deck, all hands! Make fast the bunt gasket! That's fun to say! On deck! Scurry! Scurry! I want movement! Movement!I want movement! Lift the skin up! Keep your loof! Haul those sheets! Run 'em! Run! Keep running! Run as if the devil himself and itself is upon us!" While he's yelling the entire crew is scurrying around, trying to follow this daft man's orders.

"Do we have a heading?" Logan asks.

"Argh! Run! Land!" is the only answer he gets. Pyro hides behind the mast.

Logan finds him. Pyro screams. "Which port, bub?"

"I didn't say port, I said land! Any land!" The IAR monkey swoops in and steals Pyro's hat and tosses it into the ocean. Johnny hisses at it.

"Johnny's hat!" Logan screams, "Bring her about!"

"No! No!" Pyro commands, "Leave it!"

The whole crew stops and looks at him.

Pyro looks at them, "run." He walks away.

Logan, with an odd look in his eyes turns to the crew, "Back to your stations, the lot of ya!" He looks under the stairs and finds Pyro standing straight as a board. "St. John?"

Pyro shushes him.

"For the love of mother and child, Johnny, what's coming after us?"

"Nothing," Pyro answers nonchalantly.

Johnny's dearly beloved hat sails off into the opposite direction all night and into the morning where it's picked up by a Turkish sailor, a random extra, naturally who speaks fluent Turkish and nothing else. Another random Turkish sailor extra comes and they talk, supposedly about the hat. Random Turkish sailor extra number two takes the hat and wears it.

While they are arguing, presumably about the hat, something comes toward them from under the sea. The boards creak and they grow fearful and start playing Hot Potato with the hat. The creaking grows louder. The ship implodes and not even a loose piece of driftwood is left.

The scene changes. Inside a prison, Remy rushes down a flight of stairs, followed by Xavier, whose wheelchair is being carried by a couple of random soldier extras. Warren is standing guard. As Remy rushes past with his hair falling around his shoulders, Warren tries to stop him, "Here, now, you can't be here."

Xavier disagrees, "I think you'll find he can." He stops his chair in the guard's way.

Remy rushes to Rogue's cell, where she is sitting by the rails, once again in the much-hated wedding dress.

"Mr. Xavier," Warren insists.

"Governor Xavier, still," Charles says authoritatively, steepling his fingers annoyingly. "Do you think I wear this wig to keep my head warm?"

"Yes," Magneto chimes in.

"Look who's talking, Mr. Buckethead," Evan retorts.

"Hey, I have a very valid reason for wearing my bucket, I mean, my helmet," Magneto insists.

"Yeah, right," several people cough. Scott shivers and starts coughing himself.

Raven clears her throat. The cast and crew look up at her. "Anyone besides me remember why the dear professor is really wearing the wig?" Nobody answers.

"Why don't you enlighten them, my darling?" Lightning inquires.

"Because," she says with a scowl that would peel the paint off of a house, "he's in my play!"

Magneto looks frightened, especially when Apocalypse strolls up behind him and says, "Is this man bothering you?"

Raven smiles at Apocalypse and says, "Not unless he interrupts the play again."

Apocalypse nods and fades back into the shadows where his glow makes him look like something from another world.

Warren walks back to his post.

Apparently, during this, Remy has been explaining all of this to Rogue. She replies, "Johnny's compass? What does Maximoff want with that?"

"Does it matter?" Remy replies. "Remy's to find Johnny and convince him to return to Port Royal. In exchange, t'e charges against us will be dropped."

"No. We must find our own avenue to secure your freedom," Charles interrupts.

"Is t'at a lack of fait' in Johnny or in Remy?" Gambit demands.

"That you would risk your life to save Sparrow does not mean he would do the same for anyone else. Now, where is that dog with the keys?" He whistles for Rahne and looks around. Rahne, offended by that demeaning behavior, has no intention of coming.

Rogue gets as close to Remy as she can and looks deep into his red-on-black eyes and reaches out to stroke his face, forgetting for the moment that this is all a play, she says, "Ah have faith in ya." She pauses and then adds, "both av ya. Where will y'all find him?"

"Tortuga," is the obvious answer, "Remy'll start there, and he won't stop searchin' till he finds him. And then Remy intends to return to marry you."

Rogue can't help smiling at the very thought. (1) "Properly?"

"Eagerly, if you'll still have him." He says with a smirk, leaning in closer.

"If it weren't fer these bars, Ah'd have ya already," she whispers.

At this point, Xavier's wheelchair bumps into a candlestick holder, breaking it off, making a loud noise. They both look over at him, but he's alright. He tosses it away as they turn back to each other.

"Ah'll wait fer ya," Rogue says softly.

"Keep a weather eye on t'at horizon," Remy tells her. He leans in as close as he can, but he can't reach her lips, so he gets up and runs back up the stairs. Xavier looks sadly in Warren's direction.

The scene changes once again. Now, Remy is in Tortuga, searching for Pyro.

Alex Masters stands on a dock, cleaning dead fish. "Captain St. John Allerdyce? Owes me four doubloons. Heard he was dead."

The scene changes, still in Tortuga, but this time, off shore a bit. Remy has asked Omega Red this time, who answers with a growl. "Singapore. Dat's vhat I heard, comrade. Drunk, vith a smile on hes face. Sure as de tide, John Allerdyce turn up en Singapore."

Another scene change and Remy is in the middle of Tortuga asking Mystique and Tabby about dear ole Johnny's whereabouts. "Johnny Allerdyce?" Mystique says.

"I haven't seen him in a month," Tabby replies.

"When you find him, will you give him a message?" Mystique asks with a smile. She then proceeds to slap Remy as hard as she can. "That was really satisfying."

Lightning places his hand on Raven's arm, "It was in the script."

"That last remark wasn't."

"Let it go, Ravie," he says.

"I don't have to." She used her telekinesis to slap Mystique very hard. As Mystique rubs her face, Raven retorts, "That ought to teach you to say such things about my Papa."

With yet another scene change, Sabretooth is sitting the next day, weaving a net. "Can't say about St. John Allerdyce, but there's an island just south of the straits where I trade spices for. . .mm, delicious long pork. Cannot say about Johnny, but you'll find a ship there. A ship with black sails."

Later, on board a ship, Sabretooth peers at the _Pearl_ through a spy-glass. Remy is standing next to him. Sabretooth snarls, "My brother will take you ashore."

And so, Remy and Julien are alone in a boat. An interesting situation by all means. "Je tu tuerai, Remy LeBeau."

"Ce n'est pas dans le manuscrit, Julien," Remy answers.

"Comme ces idiots savez le difference?" Julien laughs.

"Puet-etre pas, mais _elle_ sait," he says, pointing at Raven. (2)

Julien looks up to find a really angry teenaged director, with a scaring-looking glowing clipboard.

"Sorry?" Julien says in a weak voice.

Raven only glares, but decharges the clipboard.

Lightning gives him a look that says, You are _so_ out of luck.

"The script will be followed to the letter," Raven says in a not so calm tone of voice. "And after the play, you'd better find a good hiding place, because I _will_ find you and you _will_ not be recognisable when I do."

Julien, looking throughly frightened, decides to follow the little Cajun's advice and starts rowing the boat. He gets about fifty feet from the shore and stops, looking back at the island. He looks back at Remy.

"What's wrong? T'e beach is right t'ere," Remy says.

"Non con, je ne vais pas. C'est trop dangereux," is Julien's answer. (3)

"What?" Remy pretends to not speak French.

"Il vais pas. C'est trop dangereux, je vous l'avais dit," Julien insists. Remy rolls his eyes and stands up, getting ready to jump. "Bon voyage, monsieur."(4) Remy nods and jumps into the ocean.

He swims to the shore and comes up next to the ship. "Johnny!" he shouts. "St. John Allerdyce!" He walks closer to it and tries again, "Dorian! Piotr! Anybody?" He looks warily around and decides it's too quiet. He walks further inland. He is greeted by the IAR parrot. "Ah, a familiar face."

The IAR parrot squawks and says, "don't eat me."

"Remy's not going to eat you," he looks very confused.

"Don't eat me," squawks the IAR bird again. He walks away. "No. Don't eat me."

Remy keeps walking through what has turned into a jungle. He now has drawn his sword to cut through the brush. He stops when he sees Logan's flask and picks it up. "Howlett," he whispers. He takes it off the string it's attached to and holds onto the string, starting to follow it. He follows it to the end and shrugs. He looks at a tree when suddenly it screams and jumps out at him. Remy is screaming too at this point. Only, it isn't a tree, it's a Random Pelegosta Cannibal Extra or RPCE for short. The RPCE tricks Remy into falling into a rope trap that sends him flying through the air upside-down. More RPCEs are waiting in the brush and come out to look at their prey. They carry spears. Remy pulls out his sword again and tries to fight them off. "Come on! Let's go! Come on! Who wants it? I can do this all day." The RPCEs look a little bored. One of them pulls out a blow gun and shoots Remy in the neck with a Nerf dart. Remy pretends to faint.

A huge mountain looms in the view after another scene change. The camera zooms in quickly, moving over the jungle to a tribal village, high on the edge of a steep cliff. The RPCEs are carrying Remy, who is tied on a pole, into the village to show him to their chief. One of them is wearing an English wig and waving a pretty fan. One RPCE stops in front of a throne and speaks in an unknown language. Seated on the throne is Johnny with eyes painted all over his face that match his eyes. So, when he opens his eyes, it's kind of weird. His eyes open wider when he sees _who_ is on the giant pole.

Remy regains consciousness at that moment and his eyes grow larger too. "Johnny? St. John Allerdyce! Remy can honestly say he's glad to see ya."

Pyro stands up and walks down the stairs to him. He pokes Remy's arms and starts walking away.

"Johnny! C'est moi. Remy LeBeau."

Pryo walks up to the RPCE who spoke earlier and speaks in the same language. He responds and the other RPCEs all repeat the phrase. Scott shudders and whimpers.

"Tell them ta let Remy down," entreats Gambit.

Pyro speaks again and says something to the cannibals about Gambit being "eensy-weensy."

"Remy resents that."

"Gambit!" Raven whines.

"Sorry, Peu d'Ange," he says.

"It's alright," she says smiling. Lightning rolls his eyes.

Pyro walks near Remy's legs and tells the cannibals something else that ends in "eunuchy. Snip, snip."

Gambit looks like he's going to kill Pyro while the cannibals all murmur and repeat "Ahh. . . eunuchy." At this, Scott can't help but scream out right.

Remy continues his entreaty, "Johnny, t'e compass. T'at's all Remy needs. Anna is in danger. We were arrested for helping ya. She faces t'e gallows!"

Pyro stops and looks a little thoughtful. He turns and walks shakily up to the head RPCE again and speaks again in the unknown tongue the writer's of the script probably made up just for the movie. He ends this with his now famous, "Savvy?" and another phrase telling them to take him away.

The RPCE shouts out the same phrase loudly. As they start to carry Remy away, Pyro leans down and whispers, "Save me."

"Johnny, what did ya tell t'em? No! What about Anna? St. John!"

Pyro goes back to his throne.

Deep in the prison back in Port Royal, the prisoners are whistling to Rogue. "Zat's a good girl," Kurt says.

"Come a bit closer," Mastermind begs.

"We don't bite," Cody manages to whisper in his fright.

"Go on. Ve von't bite you," Kurt says, trying to hide his disgust at coming on to his sister.

"Just a nibble," Mastermind says.

Rogue is sitting all the way across the cell, holding her legs and glaring at them all. Suddenly, Warren comes up and unlocks her cell. Xavier rolls in and says, "Come quickly."

She gets up and follows him immediately.

"Tell me what's happenin'," she insists as they head down the hallway.

"Our name still has some standing with the king," he informs her. "I've arranged passage to Bayville. The captain is a friend of mine."

Rogue stops, "No! Remy's gone to find St. John!"

"We cannot count on Remy LeBeau," he says, pulling her by the arm.

"Boy, ain't dat de trut'," Julien laughs, forgetting to be afraid for a moment.

Rogue stops, walks up to him with a smile. He smiles back, but remembers too late about her powers and she's turned the inhibitor off. "There!" she says as he falls to the ground. "We can live without the commentary fer a while."

Raven grins at her and nods to the stage. Rogue goes back to the play.

"Come!" Xavier insists.

"He's a betteh man than y'all give him credit for!" Rogue shouts, meaning every word.

"Look, this is no time for innocence," Charles interrupts. "Maximoff has offered one pardon only – one, and that is promised to St. John Allerdyce. Even if Remy succeeds, do not ask me to endure the sight of my daughter walking to the gallows. Do not." He voice is filled with emotion as he thinks about his lost David. He leads her down a ramp to a carriage and forces her in. "Perhaps I can ensure a fair trial for Remy if he returns."

"A fair trial fer Remy ends in a hangin'," Rogue spits out vehemently.

"Then there is nothing left for you here," Charles says and closes the door.

The carriage rides off to the docks and stops as it sees Principal Kelly standing in the street.

"Wait inside," Charles tells her. He gets down with help from Jean's telekinesis. "Captain?" He rolls up to Kelly. "Captain."

He gasps as he sees Bolivar Trask pulling a knife out of Kelly's gut. Kelly falls to the ground. All the cast and crew start cheering.

Raven gives them two minutes to cheer, shout, and dance before she stands up and shouts, "All right people! You've had your fun. Back to the play!"

Bolivar stands there, cleaning his knife, "Evening, Governor. Shame, that. He was carrying this." He holds up a piece of paper. "It's a letter to the king." He looks at Xavier the way you'd look at a naughty four-year-old. "It's from you."

"No," Charles gasps. He turns back to the carriage and finds it surrounded by Random Soldier Extras! He rolls faster. "Anna!" He tries to get to the door, but is stopped by a sword. Trask walks past him. "What are you doing?"

Trask opens the door and then shuts it. The carriage is completely empty. "Where is she?"

"Who?" Charles asks.

Trask pulls Xavier out of his wheelchair and pounds him into the carriage.

Another scene changes and Pietro walks slowly into his office carrying a lantern and reading the letter. It's really dark in his office. He opens the box with the letters of marque and shuts it. "Nodoubtyou'vediscovered thatloyaltyisnolonger thecurrencyoftherealm, asyourfatherbelieves."

Rogue steps out of the shadows. "Then what is?"

"I'mafraidcurrencyis thecurrencyoftherealm," Pietro answers, turning to face her.

"Ah expect, then ,we can come to some sort av understandin'," Rogue declares as she slowly walks towards him. "Ah'm here to negotiate."

"I'mlistening," Pietro agrees.

Rogue pulls a gun from behind her back and points it at Pietro's head.

"I'mlistening_intently_," he says.

She pulls out the missing letters of marque, "These letters av marque, they are signed by the king."

"Yes, andthey'renotvalid untiltheybear mysignatureand my _seal_."

"Or else Ah would not still be here," Rogue says pointing the gun about three feet lower. "Ya sent Remy to get ya the compass owned by St. John Allerdyce. It will do you no good."

"Doexplain," Pietro inquires, amused.

"Ah have been to the Isla de Muerta. Ah have seen the treasure myself. There is somethin' y'all need to know."

"Ah, Isee.," Pietro is still amused. "Youthinkthecompassleads onlytotheIsladeMuerta andsoyouhope tosavemefromanevilfate. Butyoumustn'tworry. Icarenotfor cursedAztecgold. Mydesiresarenotsoprovincial." He walks to the map and stares at it and then turns back, all the time, Rogue holds the gun on him steady. "There'smorethanone chestofvalue inthesewaters. Soperhapsyoumaywishto _enhance_ your offer." He walks closer.

She puts the gun under his chin and cocks it. She forces him to walk towards his desk. "Consideh into youh calculations that y'all robbed me av my weddin' night." She pushed the letters into his chest.

He takes them, "SoIdid. Amarriageinterrupted. . . " He signs his name and seals the letters. "orfateintervenes?" "You'remaking greateffortstoensure St.JohnAllerdyce'sfreedom."

"These ain't going to St. John," she says, grabbing them.

"Oh, really?" he asks.

"ToensureMr. LeBeau'sfreedom, then, I'llstillwantthatcompass. Considerthatinyourcalculations."

She runs out of his office.

"And cut!" Raven calls out.

"Well, that wasn't so bad. . ." tries Lightning, but it doesn't work.

Raven is seeing red, "Julien. . . start running."

Julien, who has just woken up from Rogue's touch, starts scrambling for the door. He can't outrun her though. . . she's telekinetic. . .

Rogue winces as she watches the aftermath of someone threatening Raven's father in front of her. "And you date her because. . .?"

Lightning shrugs, "I don't know. . . she's cute when she's angry."

Everyone looks at him, besides Raven and the rather pain-filled Julien. Everyone blinks.

"Cute?" Scott chokes out.

"Cute?" Evan manages.

"Hey!" Bobby calls out. "Could somebody get me down from here? Hey! Where are you all going? Hey! Come back here! Help me! Jean! Jubilee! Storm! Angel!!!"

And we'll leave him screaming and everyone wondering just what Lightning _does_ see in Raven LeBeau. . .

* * *

To be continued. . .

* * *

**A/N:** (1) I mean, really, what girl could? 

(2) "I _will_ kill you, Remy LeBeau."

"That's not in the script, Julien."

"Like these idiots know the difference?"

"Maybe not, but _she_ does."

(3) "No idiot, I'm not going. It's much too dangerous." And this took me about 10 tries to hear what he said so it might be a little off but it's close enough.

(4) "I'm not going there. I told you it's too dangerous. . . Good travels, Mister." This is a VERY rough translation. I refuse to translate it literally. It took me twenty tries to get that close to what he says and I'm still very unsure of the first phrase because il parle trop rapide!!!! He speaks too fast.

Here we go round the mulberry bush. . . or at least that's how my life feels at the moment. :) Pretty good mood as I write this though. We'll see how long it lasts. Wow, 5 pages for just the first scene and there's three scenes. . . This. . . may be a little long. (take 3 - ) Wow, it's hard to watch House, MD and write this at the same time. Lol Wow! It's done! Aren't you all proud of me? Then, review!!!! Review, I tell you! You don't want to make Raven mad do you? Do you???

Next up, Pyro finds new ways to avoid his fate!


	4. Of Cannibals and Men

**Disclaimer: Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. The part that says I own Raven, Rachel, Serena and Lightning is floating on a piece of driftwood.**

* * *

A/N: 

This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!

* * *

And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . . 

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Scene 3: Of Cannibals and Men

Rogue walks in, pulling away from Remy, in order to maintain the idea that they aren't dating. She does a double take. "Three directoh chaihs?"

Remy does a double take too. "Mais, where are t'e directors?"

"Right here," Raven says from behind them. Behind her is her trusty side-kick, Lightning, and her little sister Rachel.

"What's _she_ doing here?" Evan groans.

"She's not allowed to be unsupervised for a while," Raven says with a shrug.

"Do Ah even want ta know why?" Rogue asks.

"She blew up Serena's dog," Lightning says laughing.

"It's not funny," Raven says, glaring at him.

"It was an accident! I don't have complete control of my powers yet!" Rachel shrieks at him.

He immediately makes a face and covers his ears, "You don't have to yell!"

Raven shrugs, "You get what you deserve."

Lightning glares at the girls, "So, I'm not allowed to tease my little sister?"

Rachel glares almost as hard as Raven, "You're not my brother!"

"Yet," Raven and Lightning both supply, causing Scott to scream like the little girl he is.

"Wait," Tabby says, "Who's Serena?"

All three directors give her blank looks, "Uh. . . never mind," they say. Scott starts crying.

"Hey!" Bobby calls. "Can somebody get me down?" He waits, "Please?"

"I'll help you!" Rachel calls, and Bobby makes his way down, very shakily and nearly falls several times on the way.

He kisses the ground once he's let down.

"Gee, I'm not _that_ bad," Rachel whines.

Raven rolls her eyes. "Look, Rach, they've got donuts."

Rachel's eyes get wide, "Really? Where?" She runs to the food table and starts looking. She comes back a few minutes later, after they've had time to set up the stage, "Look, Rave! Chocolate! Can I borrow your pepper? Please?"

Raven rolls her eyes, but hands over the cayenne pepper shaker so her sister can sprinkle it over her chocolate donut. Rachel actually brought two and hands Raven one when she's done with the shaker. "See, I brought you one too."

"Thanks, Rachel," Raven says sweetly.

"What? No donut for me?" Lightning complains.

"I don't like you," Rachel says, sitting down, decidedly.

Lightning rolls his eyes and grabs his own donut sans cayenne while Raven starts the play with a "Lights! Camera! Action!"

Todd and Lance row a boat across the ocean. Well, technically, Lance is rowing the boat. Toad is reading what looks like a Bible with his one good eye. "Well, I say it was Divine Providence what escaped us from jail, yo."

"And I say it was me being clever," Lance argues. He looks behind him where Rahne in her wolf form pops up, whining, still holding the keys. "Ain't that right, poochie."

Rahne looks like she's about to bite him for calling her that, but remembers it's in the script.

"Well, how'd you know it weren't Divine Providence what inspired you to be clever?" Toad asks, "Anyways, I ain't stealing no ship."

"It ain't stealing. It's salvaging. And since when do you care?"

"Since we're not immortal no more. We gotta take care of our immortal souls, yo." He holds the Bible open and points at it.

"You know you can't read," Lance argues.

"I can too!" Todd says, "Just cause I can't read good, doesn't mean I can't!"

Lance shakes his head, "It was in the script, Toad. . ."

"Oops, sorry, Lance, Raven. . ." Todd smiles sheepishly at the directors, all three of them. Rachel gives a disgusted face.

"Eww. . ."

Raven rolls her eyes, "This from a girl who's best friend is a giant lizard."

"At least she doesn't smell. . ." Rachel deadpans.

"She's got a point," Lightning agrees.

Raven shrugs, "true. Now, back to the play."

Toad holds the Bible open, "It's the Bible. You get credit for trying, yo."

"Pretending to read the Bible's a lie. That's a mark against. . ." Lance is cut off by Todd slamming the Bible shut and Rahne barking. "Look. There it is."

On the shore of an island lies the _Black Pearl._

Rahne, taking the keys with her, jumps into the water and dog-paddles to shore.

"What's got into her?" Toad asks.

Lance shrugs, "Must have seen a catfish." He laughs and after he gets the joke, Toad joins him.

"Stupid mongrel!" Toad calls at Rahne, who growls at him and receives a rather sharp look from Raven for it.

Rahne gets to shore and shakes off while they argue until a huge wave knocks their little life boat head over heels. The two unlikely pirates scream as they hit the warm water. Rahne wags her tail and grins as much as a wolf can.

Lance winds up a little closer to the shore than Todd when they stand up and yells, "Come on!"

They laugh as the three of them head for the huge black ship.

"It's ours for the taking!" Lance calls out.

"Tide's coming in. That should help," Toad answers, "and salvaging is saving, in a manner of speaking."

"There's the truth of it!" Lance agrees, excitedly.

Among they're gleeful laughter and planning comes the ominous sound of drums, making them pause and look towards the sound. "Suppose we better save it as soon as we can, yo," Toad says, "what with our souls in such a vulnerable state and all."

Lance quickly crosses himself twice and says, "Amen to that!"

Toad jumps up and starts climbing the rope.

The scene changes to watch the RPCEs beat their drums. They are painted like skeletons and dancing to the beat of the drums. Amara, the tribal princess, walks ceremoniously up to Johnny and hangs a necklace around his neck, giggling as she does.

"Thank you," Pyro says, not meaning it. The necklace itself is made up of human fingers and toes, which are really wax concoctions of the Blob. He bites a "toenail" and chews the wax, then, spits it out.

The scene changes again and we are now overlooking a huge cliff with a bridge and two cages hanging from ropes in the middle of it. Remy is in one of the cages.

"Why would he do t'is to us? If Johnny is t'eir chief. . ." he whines.

"Aye," Logan, who's in the same cage as Remy, answers, "The Pelegostos made Johnny their chief, but he only remains chief as long as he acts like a chief."

"So he had no choice," Remy says softer. "He's a captive as much as t'e rest of us."

"Worse, as it turns out," Logan informs him. "See, the Pelegostos believe that Johnny is a god in human form."

Pyro starts laughing, "I'm a god! I always knew it!"

Wanda hits him upside the head, "Shut up, loser."

Pyro rubs his sore head, "Seesh, Sheila, can't ya take a joke?"

"Obviously not!" The objects in the room acquire a bluish glow and start floating.

"Wanda, Pyro! That's enough!" Raven calls.

"Ah, man, it was just getting good!" Rachel whines.

"Rachel, honey, be glad you're my little sister. . ." Raven says with glowing eyes.

Rachel shrinks into her seat, "I love you?"

Raven rolls her eyes, "Logan. . ."

Logan nods and starts the line over, "See, the Pelegostos believe that Johnny is a god in human form, and they intend to do him the honor of releasing him from his fleshly prison."

At which point Piotr picks up Logan's hand and promptly bites two of his fingers. Logan cries out and pulls his hand away. SNIKT goes his claws until he sees glowing yellow eyes glaring at him. He puts the claws away. "They'll roast him and eat him."

Leech looks up, frightened.

"Where's t'e rest of t'e crew?" Remy asks.

"These cages we're in weren't built until after we got here," is the answer. Remy looks closely at the cages and realises they have been built with human bones. Actually, they're metal, covered in plastic, and Magneto is holding them up so the ropes don't break. Remy pulls his hand away and grimaces. The drums change patterns. "The feast is about to begin. St. John's life will end when the drums stop."

"Well, we can't just sit here and wait, t'en, can we?" Remy says.

Back at the cannibals' village, the RPCEs are building the fire for Johnny's ceremony. He stands up, holding a huge stick with feather's or hair stuck to it like a sceptre. "No, no. Oi, no, no," he calls. "More wood. Big fire. Big fire." His face lights up at the very thought. "I am chief. Want big fire! Come on. Oi." He turns to the nearest RPCE and start muttering in the cannibal language again, following his orders with, "tout de suite. (1) Come on. More wood." He smiles as they run to follow his orders.

They place a huge log on the pile and turn to see if the woodpile now meets with his approval, only to find him gone.

The scene changes to find Johnny running as fast as his Australian legs can carry him across a bridge and through the abandoned part of the village, only to be stopped by nearly falling off a cliff. He would have fallen, if not for Rachel's telekinesis. As it is he is shakily put back with an "Goodness, he's so heavy!"

Raven rolls her eyes, "Rachel, try not to comment on the play . . . or the actors."

"She's just pouting 'cause Scott's not in it yet," laughs Lightning.

Raven laughs too.

"I hate you both!" Rachel screams, getting up and running into the bathroom.

Raven shrugs, "Well, at least we can get some work done."

"As long as she doesn't blow anything else up," Lightning agrees.

Raven nods, "You see, this is why we can't get a dog."

He nods.

Wanda calls out, "Um, can we get back to work, now?"

"Oh yeah, sure," Raven nods.

"Whoa!" Pyro screeches. He climbs off the cliff edge and sees several long poles for pole vaulting laying beside the cliff. He picks one up and examines it, then drops it as he notices a certain hut. He enters it and finds it full of the treasure the RPCEs stole from his crew. He leaves with a rope and a can of paprika stamped with the symbol of the East India Trading Company. As he exits the hut, he comes face to face with a huge crowd of RPCEs. "Oh, bugger," he says. He drops the rope and starts shaking the paprika on himself like deodorant. . . only under his arms. "A little seasoning, eh?"

The RPCEs are not amused.

The scene changes again and this time, Pyro is tried to a pole and is being lifted up. The stick him on a spit over the woodpile which is now much higher. "Well done," he says in a rather hopeless voice.

Back in the cages, the men are rocking them back and forth. They all lean out as far as they can to grab a hold of the cliff's edge, but they miss and the cage soars back again. After two more swings, they finally grabs some vines.

"Put your legs though. Start to climb!" Logan orders.

"Come on, Men!" Remy insists. "It'll take all of us to crew t'e _Black Pearl_."

"Actually," Sam calls out from the other cage., "you wouldn't need everyone. About six would do." He stops and looks over at the cage with Remy in it. They look back at him. "Oh, dear."

Remy looks at Logan who nods. "Hurry," Remy calls.

"Come on!" Logan exclaims as they go higher up the cliff.

"Come on! Is that all you got?" Leech cries out.

Just then, Kitty's dad is walking across the bridge. Remy sees him, "Wait. Stop." he whispers.

"Eh?" Logan asks.

"Stop. Shh," Remy tries to get the message to the other cage.

They stop, but Sam thinks they can keep climbing without Kitty's dad seeing them. "Shh," he whispers to his cage-mates and motions to keep climbing.

"What are they doing?" Leech asks.

"Stop," Remy tries to convince them by waving his arms.

They keep going and everything is fine until Sam puts his hand on a snake and lifts it up. Now, it was supposed to be a rubber snake, but it's not. . . it's a cottonmouth. "Snake!" he screams. He drops it quickly and his cage-mates all scream and freak out, causing them to loose complete control and let go of the vines. The cage falls and the rope breaks. Magneto lowers it and then stops short of letting them crash on the rocks below.

Kitty's dad looks over and watches them fall. Logan does too, but cringes when the screaming stops. Then, Kitty's dad sees them and Remy calls out, "Move!" Everyone starts climbing faster.

"Now wait a cotton pickin' minute here!" Sam yells, after leaving the cage. "Who put the real snake on the cliff?"

"Real snake?" Raven asks, looking at Lightning.

Lightning shrugs, "I didn't do it."

"Neither did I," Raven says. They both look at Pietro.

"I didn't do it! I wouldn't touch such a creepy thing," he says with a shiver.

"Well, if we didn't do it, and _he_ didn't do it. . . who did?" Raven asks.

Pyro is heard snickering from his place on the spit.

Wanda walks up to him, "Did you put the snake on the cliff?"

Pyro starts laughing, "Yes!"

She hits him over the head.

"Ouch! Whatcha go and do that for?"

"You idiot! You could have hurt someone!"

She receives a blank look, "What's your point?"

She rolls her eyes, "Well, now it's taking longer to get to the fire scene."

He starts crying.

She walks back to her place.

Raven sighs, "Let's just get on with the play."

"Wait for me!" Rachel runs back to sit in her chair.

"I thought you were mad at us," Lightning asks.

Rachel rolls her eyes at him, "Whatever."

Amanda's father runs with a torch across a bridge into the village where Pyro is waiting to be roasted alive. He stops next to the woodpile and screams. The tribe answers him with cheers and Pyro tries to look worried as Mr. Sefton lowers the torch to the pile of wood under Pyro. Just when the torch is about to light the fire that will end Pyro's life, Mr. Pryde runs across the bridge and into the center. He speaks in the secret cannibal language and Mr. Sefton pulls the torch away. Everyone looks at Johnny.

"Well, go on, go get them!" Pyro orders, and says it again in the cannibal tongue.

Mr. Sefton drops the torch which the crowd cheers and goes off to catch their dinner, I mean, the pirates. The torch is right next to the woodpile, on a bit of grass. Pyro sees the fire will catch because the wind is blowing in his direction, thanks to a huge fan.

"No, no. Oi! No, no!" He's completely alone. "Not good," he says as he tries to blow out the fire. Sparks land on the kindling and the fire blazes, much to his delight. He tries to blow harder.

Meanwhile, back on the cliff, the surviving cage-mates have reached the top of the cliff and are pulling themselves over it. They are still attached to the rope. "Cut it loose! Find a rock!" Remy cries out.

At the fire, Pyro is tries to knock himself off the spit by bouncing up and down. Eventually, he makes it and with the help of Raven's TK, because it's rather dangerous, and his fire control, Pyro, the rope, and the pole all land safely beside the fire. He breaks the rope around him legs and struggles to his feet.

At the cliff, Remy has managed to break the rope with his powers, instead of the script-called-for-rock, just as the RPCEs come on screen. "Roll t'e cage!" he screams. They all start rolling the cage and therefore move slightly faster the the RPCEs, who only get to use their legs.

They scream as the go round and round, and Scott shivers, but manages not to scream outright. They roll down hills and up them. They jump over valleys and up a palm tree, only to fall straight back down.

The RPCEs are still coming. "Lift t'e cage! Hurry!" Remy yells.

They struggle to their feet and Logan shouts, "Come on, lads! Lift it like a lady's skirt!" He grins, "There's a good line," he mutters under his breath. They lift it and run, only Leech's little legs don't reach the ground.

Pyro is running too, across a bridge with the pole still attached to his back. He finally has his arms free and stops to struggle with the rope. He looks up and sees Jaime in face paint, holding a knife and fork and looking very confused. He smiles at Jaime and jumps over to him, grabs the knife from his hands. Jaime take off running. Pyro grins and looks up to find Wanda and Danielle standing in front of him, holding bowls of fruit.

He screams and runs towards them, pole first. They simply move out of the way and his pole gets stuck in a pile of coconuts. He pulls it out and flings a coconut at the girls. Wanda catches it and lowers it, glaring and snarling at him for getting coconut milk all over her.

As the men run from the RPCEs into the jungle, Remy is shouting, "run!" as if his cage-mates were planning on stopping. They fall of a cliff no one saw and down into a ravine. The cage breaks and they all manage to survive.

"This way, lads!" Logan calls to them and they all swim to the shore as the RPCEs stop at the cliff's edge and throw spears and shoot arrows at them.

While this is happening, Wanda and Danielle are having fun as they throw pineapples, coconuts and other large fruit at Pyro's head. He keeps dodging but they keep throwing. One lands on his pole and a watermelon barely misses his head.

"Take cover," Remy orders the pirates as they reach a safe place.

Finally, after another melon lands on his pole, Pyro screams, "Stop it!" Wanda and Dani stop in mid-throw. Pyro's pole is covered in fruit and he looks like a giant shishkabob.

Back at the ravine, The RPCEs are about to win when Jaime runs up and shouts in the secret cannibal language and points back to the village. The RPCEs stop and run back to the village.

Remy watches them with relief and confusion.

Pyro, is running and screaming at Wanda and Dani. He misses and ends up catching his pole in the dirt. It flings him up in the air and with a little help from Jean's TK this time, he lands safely on the other side. Until the fruit start falling and shifting the weight backwards. He falls back, screaming off the cliff's edge until the pole catches between the two sides of the cliff and he unravels from the rope like a yo-yo. The rope is still attached to his foot and he's hanging upside-down.

Wanda and Dani sigh and discuss it in the cannibal language. Then, they walk away.

The pole starts slipping. "Bugger," Johnny says before it breaks and he starts falling again. He screams as he falls through several bridges that soften his fall and finally lands on the ground, no worse for wear. He looks up to see the pole fall straight for his head. His eyes widen but it misses his head by a foot. The fruit land next, having been knocked off the pole by the bridges.

When the pirates reach the _Pearl_, it's already back in the water. "Haul loose the mooring line," Lance is calling to Toad. "The mooring line!"

Toad is on deck chasing after his wooden eye, which has been stolen by the IAR monkey. "Thief! Little hairy thief! Give it back!" The IAR monkey starts eating it. "Don't bite it!"

"Haul loose the mooring line!" Lance calls again.

Todd jumps up to the ship's edge and shouts, "He's got me eye, yo! He won't give it back!"

"Well, how'd you get it back last time?" Lance asks.

Logan runs by him, "Excellent! Our works half done!"

"We done it for you, knowing you'd be coming back," Lance says nervously.

"Make ready to sail, boys!" Logan cries out, ignoring Lance completely.

"What about Johnny?" Remy demands. "Remy won't leave wit'out him."

Johnny rounds the bend right about them and screams, "Oi!" Remy smiles until he sees John is followed by the entire tribe of RPCEs.

"Time to go," Remy says.

"Cast off those lines!" Logan screams.

Pyro is screaming as he runs as fast as he can to the ship.

"Make ready to cast off!" Logan screams.

"Oi!" Pyro exclaims. Rahne stands still and barks at the tribe. "Good doggy."

The ship is further out to sea now and Pyro and the RPCEs are running in water.

They stop as he reaches the ship and turns to say, "Alas, my children, this is the day you shall always remember as the day you almost . . ." A huge wave crashes him right then, ruining his speech. He simply finishes with "Captain St. John Allerdyce," and turns to climb onto the ship.

As they watch the ship sail away, the RPCEs hear Rahne barking and they turn. She starts whining and runs off. They follow her.

As Johnny slips onto deck, Logan walks up to him and says, "Let's put some distance between us and this island and head out to open sea."

"Yes to the first. Yes to the second, but only insofar as we keep to the shallows as much as possible." Lance and Toad are behind Johnny. Lance puts a blanket around Johnny and salutes. Pyro is looking at them oddly.

"That seems a bit contradictory, Captain," Logan complains.

"I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Howlett" Pyro tells him. "Now, where is that monkey? I want to shoot something."

The IAR monkey screeches and drops Todd's eye. Toad grabs it and starts cleaning it off as Johnny loads his gun.

Remy walks up, "St. John, Anna is in danger."

"Have you considered keeping a more watchful eye on her. Maybe just locking her up somewhere?" Johnny says as he walks off.

"She is locked up, in a prison, bound to hang for helping you," Remy says, following him.

"There come a time when one must take responsibility for one's mistakes," Johnny says.

Remy pulls a sword from a RPE and sticks it to Pyro's throat. "Remy need t'at compass of yours, Johnny. He must trade it for her freedom."

Pyro pushes the sword away, "Mr. Howlett."

"Captain."

"We have a need to travel upriver," Pyro informs him.

Sounding scared, Logan asks, "By need, do you mean a trifling need? Fleeting? As in, say, a passing fancy?"

"No, a resolute and unyielding need," Pyro demands.

"What we need to do is make sail for Port Royal wit' all haste," Remy insists.

"Remy," Pyro says, "I shall trade you the compass if you will help me to find this." He pulls out the cloth drawing of the key.

"You want Remy to find t'is?"

"No, you want you to find this," Johnny says, "because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and/or locating in your discovering and detecting a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face. Savvy?"

"That made no sense at all. . ." Bobby says, shaking his head.

"Since when does anything Pyro says make sense?" Jubilee asks.

"Point taken," Bobby says.

Raven growls and the play goes on.

Looking confused, Remy grabs the cloth. "T'is is going to save Anna?"

"How much do you know about Apocalypse?"

"Not much," Remy answers.

"Yeah, it's going to save Anna." Pyro says.

"And cut!" Raven calls.

"Finally! That was the most boring thing in the world! Rave, why do you do these boring plays?" Rachel begins whining.

"Sometimes I wonder myself," Raven answers.

"Boring?" Pyro says, breathing hard from his running and the fact that Wanda is chasing him with more watermelons for throwing that coconut at her, "How can you call this play boring?" He jumps as a watermelon makes contact with his butt and takes off running.

Rachel is chattering on, even though Raven is no longer listening to her.

Rogue just stares, "How can she talk like that?"

Raven shrugs, "I'm not sure, but I don't want to look inside her mind to find out."

Lightning speaks up, "It's not _that_ hard."

Pietro nods in agreement, "Yeah,it'sreallyeasytotalkfast."

Raven rolls her eyes, "Of course it is for the two of you, but her?"

"Teenage girls. . ." Logan grumbles his opinion.

"Ah beg ta diffeh," Rogue states, "Raven and Ah are teenage girls too."

"Yes, but we aren't exactly _normal_ teenage girls, are we?" Raven says.

"So very true," Rogue nods.

Lightning shrugs, "Kitty can do it."

"My point exactly," Raven says with a grin.

"And then I said, 'Why are you holding my cellphone and a pipe cleaner?' It was _so funny_," Rachel insists.

"Uh, I guess you had to be there," Raven groans.

"Speaking of which, of we're late for dinner, Mama's gonna have our hides!" Rachel exclaims.

"We should go," Raven nods, and the three directors leave.

SPLAT, a watermelon hits Apocalypse in the face.

"Oops?" Wanda whispers and runs.

Apocalypse starts trembling in anger and I think now is a good time to leave.

* * *

To be continued. . .

* * *

**A/N:** (1) immediately. 

Part 1. . . 5 pages. . . wow. . . let's see what happens with the next 2 parts! Okay, sorry, I've been a little busy! But here you are. I wrote the last two scenes in one day! Wow! This is really long though. Thanks for your patience and please review before Raven throws a tantrum. . . and you don't want to see that. Hey, _I_ don't want to see that, and I created her.

Next up, Rogue gets to wear pants!


	5. Stowaways and Secrets

**Disclaimer: Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. The part that says I own Raven, Rachel, Serena and Lightning is floating on a piece of driftwood.**

* * *

A/N:

This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!

* * *

And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . .

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Scene 4: Stowaways and Secrets

When Raven and Lightning appear, the entire cast is ready to start filming. They are in neat little lines and Wanda is. . . missing. "Where's Wanda?" Raven asks.

"Her part is over for now," Apocalypse responses.

"Is she in the hospital?" Lightning groans.

"Yes, yes, she is," En Sabah Nur answers.

"Don't worry about it," Raven says, "Let's just start the play."

"Wait, where's Rachel?" Rogue asks.

"With Papa on a . . . fishing. . . trip," Raven says with a grin.

"Fishing?" Lightning asks, "Is that what you call it?"

"Shut up, Lawr," Raven grins. "Lights! Camera! Action!"

A ship is setting sail from Port Royal. Everything is looking great as Arcade swabs the deck. He notices something odd and stops mopping to pick a wedding dress out of a pile of ropes.

The scene changes and the entire crew is standing around, watching Rob and Ray fight over the dress. Hank pushes his way through the crowd, "What is all this?"

They stop fighting and look at him.

Hank looks at them and says, "If you both fancy the dress, you'll just have to share and wear it one after the other." There are plenty of off-stage snickers at that one, not to mention the crew of Random Sailor Extras are laughing too.

"It's not like that, sir. This ship is haunted," Ray informs him.

"Is it now?" Beast asks. "And you?" He turns to Roberto.

"There's a female presence amongst us here, sir," Roberto answers. "All the men, they can feel it."

"It's the ghost of a lady widowed before her marriage, I figure it," Arcade speaks up, "searching for her husband, lost at sea."

"A virgin too, likely as not," Mr. Spears claims. A lonely sailor is varnishing the rails as he goes on, "And that bodes ill by all accounts." The sailor looks over. It's Rogue, in men's clothing.

Ray grabs the dress, "I say that we throw the dress overboard and we hope the spirit follows it."

Roberto stops him as he's about to, "No! That will just anger the spirit, sir! What we need to do is find out what the spirit needs, and then get it back to her." Rogue rolls her eyes, not believing how stupid boys can be as Rob and Ray both start pulling on the dress again.

"Enough!" Hank shouts. "Enough!" They stop. "You're a pair of superstitious goats and it's got the best of you!" He grabs the dress. "Now, this appears to be no more as we have a stowaway on board." Rogue keeps painting, but slower, listening to every word. "A young woman, by the looks of it. I want you to search the ship and find her." He starts to go, but stops, "Oh, and er. . . she's probably naked." That gets the crew to start in looking, and fast.

Rogue drops her paintbrush and pretends to look too.

Another scene change, past the _Pearl_ and up a river travel two rowboats. They pass random extras hiding back in tangled cabins, through a jungle where light dares not travel. Sitting the first boat is Johnny, the IAR parrot, Piotr, and Blob.

Remy is sitting in the second boat with Logan, Leech, Lance and Toad. "Why is Johnny afraid o' t'e open ocean?"

"Well, if ya believe such things, bub, there's a beast does the bidding of Apocalypse – a fearsome creature with giant tentacles that'll suction your face clean off and drag an entire ship down to the crushing darkness," Logan supplies, scaring Toad. After a sufficient pause to scare them all he names the beast, "The kraken."

Lance, Toad and Leech all look at each other and Remy looks as if Logan is nuts.

Logan continues, "they say the stench of his breath is like. . ." Here he shudders, "Imagine, the last thing you know on God's green earth is the roar of the kraken and the reeking odor of a thousand rotting corpses." Toad looks frightened and even Logan looks scared. "If you believe such things."

"Stop, you're scaring Toad," Lance says, looking scared himself.

"Lance, we are all very touched by your show of concern of Toad, but stick to the script!" Raven glares at him.

The cast and crew snicker. Toad makes kissy faces at him, laughing.

"Aw, shut up!" Lance growls punching Toad rather hard.

"I'll shut you up," Lightning says, trying to glare the way Magneto and Remy taught him, but failing miserably. (1)

"That hurt, yo!" Todd whines.

Lance rolls his eyes.

"Just go back to the play!" Raven groans.

"And t'e key will spare him t'at?" Remy asks.

"Well, that's the very question Johnny wants answered," Logan answers. "Bad enough even to go visit. . ." He pauses for dramatic effect again, "_her_."

"Her?" Remy says incredulously.

Logan looks as if Remy should know who he means, "Aye."

At nightfall, the fireflies dance as the boats reach _her_ cabin. Nervously, Pyro exits the boat and climbs the ladder. "No worries, mates. Ororo Monroe and I go way back. Thick as thieves. Nigh inseparable, we are. Were. Have been. Before."

Logan and Remy are behind him, "I'll watch your back, bub."

"It's me front I'm worried about," Pyro answers.

"Mind the boat," Logan tells Remy, following Pyro.

"Mind t'e boat," Remy tells Toad, following Logan.

"Mind the boat, yo," Toad tells Lance, following Remy.

"Mind the boat," Lance tells Leech, following Toad.

"Mind the boat," Leech tells the IAR parrot, following Lance.

"Awk! Mind the boat," the IAR parrot tells Piotr, flying off to follow Leech.

Piotr sits down and sighs as Blob seems to have disappeared as well.

Pyro peeks in the window and slowly pushing the door open, staying out of the way. The cabin is full of voodoo implements and oddities. A giant white IAR python slithers on a branch near the door. At a table sits Storm, dressed in her native clothing, messing with something that looks sinister. Her makeup makes her look very dirty and as if she has never brushed her teeth in her life. She looks up as the door creaks and smiles slowly, "St. John Allerdyce."

"Ororo Monroe," Pyro says, walking in and pretending to be happy to see her. He ducks under a jar, the contents of which are unrecognisable.

"I always knew the wind would blow you back to me one day," Storm says with a heavy accent, walking up to him. Just as she reaches him, she looks past him and sees Remy. "You . . ." She points at him.

Remy looks at her, startled. They walk closer to each other.

"You have a touch of. . . destiny about you," she remarks, "Remy LeBeau."

Remy looks confused, "Ya know Remy?"

"You want to know me?" she asks, grinning seductively and moving closer. Rogue looks likes she's about to punch her, but Kitty sticks the script in her face, stopping her.

Pyro runs over and says quickly, "There'll be no knowing here. We've come for help and we're not leaving without it, sheila." He pulls Storm away and says, "I thought I knew you."

"It's probably a good thing Wanda's not here," Rogue whispers to Kitty.

Kitty giggles, "True. She'd like totally have a cow."

"Not to mention blow up the set. . . again," Rogue says with a grin.

"Would you two stop?" Lightning whines. "You're ruining the play."

"You're the only one that can hear them," Raven says, rolling her eyes.

"That's not true! Logan can hear them!" he continues whining.

"The only one ruining this play is you!" Raven shouts.

"That's not what you normally think!" Lightning shouts back.

"Well, at the moment, anyway!" she yells.

"Why are we yelling?" he asks loudly.

"I don't know!" Raven says and they both fall into their seats laughing. Soon, Raven sits up, "Okay, on with the show. Storm?"

"Not so well as I had hoped," Storm says, "Come."

"Come," waves Johnny.

They show Remy a chair and Storm asks, "What service may I do you?" She fondles his face and it takes Piotr to hold Rogue back this time. Remy looks uncomfortable. "You know I demand payment," she says sharply to Pyro.

"I brought payment," Captain St. John says, adding a whistle.

Leech brings over a covered cage. Pyro takes the blanket off and the IAR monkey is inside it.

"Look," Pyro says, taking out his pistol and shooting the IAR monkey, which screeches. "An undead monkey." He sets the cage on the table with a, "Top that."

She opens the cage and lets it out.

"No, don't!" Logan groans. "Ya have no idea how long it took us ta catch that." In fact, it had taken them a while because Forge had had one to many diet sodas and well. . . he thought it was funny.

"The payment is fair," Ororo says, shutting the cage and moving it off the table.

We're lookin' for t'is," Remy says, taking out the cloth with the drawing of the key on it. "And what it goes to."

Storm's eyes widen a little and she stares at it strangely. She looks at Pyro, "The compass you bartered from me, it cannot lead you to this?"

"Maybe. Why?" he answers, holding a feathered black hat.

She sits down and grins, "I hear you. St. John Allerdyce does not know what he wants. Or, do you know, but are loath to claim it as your own?" She starts talking to the whole room now, "Your key go to a chest. And it is what lay inside the chest you seek, don't it?"

"What is inside?" Logan asks.

"Gold?" Lance asks, "Jewels? Unclaimed properties of a valuable nature?"

Todd shakes a little and asks, "Nothing bad, I hope?"

"You know of Apocalypse, yes?" she answers. The three of them nod. "A man of the sea. A great sailor, until he run afoul of that which vex all men."

Johnny is happily stealing stuff while she's distracted.

"What vexes all men?" Remy asks.

She rubs his hand and grins with a slight laugh, "What indeed?"

"The sea?" Logan asks.

"Sums?" Lances tries.

"The dichotomy of good and evil?" Toad asks.

Everyone stops and looks at him.

Lance asks, "You know what dichotomy means?"

Toad shrugs, "doesn't everybody?"

"Well, yeah, but. . ." Lance answers.

"I don't know what it means," Pyro whines.

"It means, a division into two especially mutually exclusive or contradictory groups or entities," states Raven methodically.

Pyro stares blankly at her and blinks, "Yeah, um, that didn't help."

Raven shakes her head, "Just forget it, it's not important."

"Okay," he grins.

Logan and Avalanche turn their heads over at Toad and stare at him just like they did a few moments ago.

"A woman," Pyro answers.

Lance, Todd, and Logan turn and look at him.

"A woman," Storm repeats. "He fell in love."

"No. No. No. No," interrupts Logan. "I heard it was the sea he fell in love with."

She waves him off, "Same story, different version, and all are true. See, it was a woman as changing and harsh and untameable as the sea. Him never stopped loving her. But the pain it cause him was too much to live with but not enough to cause him to die."

Fed up with the ridiculous stories, Remy asks, "What exactly did he put in t'e chest?"

"Him heart," she answers sweetly.

"Literally or figuratively?" Toad asks. Again everyone looks at him oddly. He shrugs, "What? I do own a dictionary, you know! I'm not Pyro!"

"He couldn't literally put his heart into a chest," Lance argues. "Could he?"

Storm is enjoying her audience, so she continues, "It was not worth feeling what small, fleeting joy life brings. And so. . . he carve out him heart, lock it up in a chest and hide the chest from the world." She nods at the cloth. "The key he keep with him at all times."

Remy stands up and gets in Pyro's face, "Ya knew t'is."

"I did not." Pyro disagrees. "I didn't know where the key was. But now we do. So, all that's left is to climb aboard the _Flying Dutchmen_, grab the key, you head back to Port Royal and save your bonnie lass, eh?"

"Let me see your hand," Storm says, standing up and holding her own hand out expectantly.

Reluctantly, Pyro gives her his hand, which he's wrapped in bandages.

She unwraps it, revealing the mark left by Jean-Luc. . . er, Pietro, anyways.

Logan gasps, "The black spot!" He wipes his chest three times with both hands, turns around and spits.

"The black spot!" Lance moans.

"Black spot!" Toad echoes. They both copy Logan's odd performance.

"My eyesight's as good as ever, just so you know," Pyro complains.

"I have just the thing," Storm says. "Now where did I put it? My little beauty, where are you?"

Amongst considerable banging and clattering, Pyro looks down and picks up a ring that is laying next to a strange looking pendant on a heavy chain.

"Such a long time in such a mess," she continues. She walks back into the room carrying a jar of dirt. "Apocalypse cannot make port. Cannot step on land but once every ten years. Land is where you are safe, St. John Allerdyce, and so you will carry land with you." She hands him the jar of dirt.

He takes it and looks at it and her as if she's nuts. "Dirt. This is a jar of dirt."

"Yes," she replies.

"Is the jar of dirt going to help?" he asks.

"If you don't want it, give it back," she tells him.

"No," he says, hugging the jar of dirt to him.

"Then it helps," she says.

"It seems we have a need ta find t'e _Flyin' Dutchman_," Remy says.

She sits down and gathers some things from the table, shaking them in her hand as she says, "A touch of destiny." She throws them down. They are crab claws and they lay out in a pattern that looks just like a group of rocks out in the sea. This is where they must go.

There is a broken ship near the rocks. It's stable for now, but in the storm, it's liable to sink any moment. On the _Pearl_, Remy is looking at it. "T'at's t'e _Flyin' Dutchman_?" he asks incredulously.

Logan and Pyro are behind him, but neither answer.

"She don't look like much," Remy growls.

"Neither do you," Johnny exclaims.

"If t'at wasn't in t'e script. . ." Remy mutters under his breath.

"Do not underestimate her," Pyro exclaims. He nudges Logan rather harshly, reminding him to say the line Pyro taught him.

"Must have run afoul of the reef," Logan growls at Pyro.

"So, what's your plan, then?" St. John asks Remy.

"Remy row over, search t'e ship until he find your stupid key," Gambit insists.

"And if there are crewmen?" Pyro asks.

"Remy cut down anyone in his pat'," he answers without hesitation. The cruelty in his voice makes a lot of people shiver. He walks off.

"I like it," Pyro tells Logan. "Simple, easy to remember."

Toad is hanging on the ropes beside the boat as Remy climbs down. "Your chariot awaits you, sire!" He laughs.

"Oi!" Pyro calls down. "If you do happen to get captured, just say St. John Allerdyce sent you to settle his dept. It might save your life."

"Bon voyage!" Toad calls out as Remy rows away. Toad is still laughing as he climbs back on board.

"Douse the lamps," Pyro tells Wolverine.

Leech, Piotr, and Lance set about accomplishing that task.

Remy watches as one by one the lamps go out. He climbs aboard the wreckage, holding a lantern, looking around. He finds dead bodies everywhere. . . well, he finds dummies made to look like dead bodies. He hears someone muttering and sees a crewman trying to hoist the sails. It's Duncan.

"Sailor," Remy says to him.

"Hoisting the jib. Captain's orders," Duncan says, acting insane.

"Sailor!" Remy repeats.

"Hoisting the jib. Bring up with a round turn."

"T'ere's no use. You've run aground," Remy informs him.

Duncan looks at him with wild eyes and shakes his head, "No. Beneath us. Foul breath." He's obviously scared out of his mind, and not just because of Raven. . .

There is a crash behind Gambit and he turns to look. Someone is crawling on the deck. As he walks forward, he passes another frightened crew member hiding and whimpering behind a net.

"Hey! Hey!" Remy calls as he hangs the lantern and goes to help the crawling man. He turns him over and finds the man has no face. . . It's been suctioned off. "Ahh!" he screams and drops the man, backing up.

"Wow, Gambit's scream isn't nearly as girly as Scott's," Rogue says.

"Or Pietro's," Kitty agrees.

"Hey!" Scott says, "I do not have a girly scream!"

"Boo!" Rogue and Kitty say.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" screams Scott in a high pitched, girly voice.

"Very girly," Rogue disagrees.

"You two are just jealous," Pietro says.

"Of what?" Kitty asks.

"That _I_ look better in your costume than you do," Pietro says.

Rogue looks at Kitty. Kitty looks at Rogue. "Let's get him!"

And another girly scream comes from Scott.

"How do you put up with this. . . insubordination?" Apocalypse asks.

Raven shrugs, "I don't know. . ."

Lightning adds, "You kind of get used to it." He winces, "Wow. . . that looks painful."

Raven nods, "Really painful. . . Great idea for Rogue to tap Jean before she ran after him, though."

Lightning winces again, "Remind me not to make your mom mad on purpose. . ."

Raven just looks at him, "Okay, back to the show, peoples!"

"What about Pietro?" Jean asks.

Raven looks back over at him, "I think they've got him covered."

Gambit looks over his shoulder as the real _Flying Dutchman_ comes out of the water. The crew of the _Dutchman_ seem to come out of the walls. This being accomplished by trick walls. One of them grabs Duncan.

A Random _Dutchman_ Crew member, or R_D_C, shouts to Remy, "Drop on your marrow bones and pray." He swings two cannon balls connected by chains at Remy who jumps out of the way. Bobby, wearing an ice statue for a shell, swings a hatchet at him. Remy manages to dodge that as well. He grabs the R_D_C's sword and fights off chains, swords and hatchets before finding a barrel of pitch and dipping the sword in it. He uses the sword to break the lantern and the sword bursts into flames.

"Get back! Get back!" he shouts to the R_D_Cs, swinging the sword around him.

Lucid runs towards him. Remy swings the sword and cuts open a pouch on his shirt. Fish and water fall all over the deck.

While Remy watches Lucid apparently dying, Bobby comes up behind him and knocks him out.

The _Dutchman's_ crew all laugh.

"And cut!" Raven calls out.

"Well, that was interesting," Lightning says, turning to watch Rogue and Kitty still beating up Pietro.

Apocalypse shudders, "And I thought what I did to Wanda was bad."

"A woman's wrath. . ." mutters Lightning, "there's nothing quite like it."

"Yeah," Scott agrees. "And that could have been me. . ."

Jean uses her TK to hit him upside the head.

"Hey! What was that for?" he whines.

"As if you didn't know!" Jean says, walking off.

Scott looks at Raven and Lightning for help. He doesn't find any.

"Well, as . . .entertaining as this is, my dear. . ." Lightning winces again. "I think we'd better. . ."

"Go?" asks Raven.

He nods and they leave in a flash. We should go to. . . and hope Pietro survives.

* * *

To be continued. . .

* * *

**A/N:** (1) Back in MOTC, Remy and Magneto tried to give him some advice. He even took notes. . .

Hey, sorry about the long wait. I've been living and breathing T-ball for a while. I'm going on vacation soon, so I thought I'd post this real quick before I left. Hope you enjoy it! REVIEW!!

Next up, Apocalypse finally makes his on-stage debut!


	6. Apocalypse

**Disclaimer: Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. The part that says I own Raven, Rachel, Serena and Lightning is floating on a piece of driftwood.**

* * *

A/N:

This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!

* * *

And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . .

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Scene 5: Apocalypse

Pietro hobbles in, incredibly sore and with more than a few casts. He's followed by Wanda, who looks only slightly better.

Pyro runs up to her. "Oh my, what happened?"

"Don't!" she warns, "Don't touch me. Apocalypse happened, that's what. But I can see my brother managed to get himself into worse trouble in my absence."

Pyro laughs, "Yeah, that was hilarious! See, he made Rogue and . . ."

"I don't want to know," Wanda says, holding up a hand. "But can he run? I mean he's kind of crucial to the play."

"Not as crucial as you'd think," Raven says. "Other than his part. . ." she rolls his eyes.

"Yeah," Lightning pops up, "I'm just as fast as him."

"Arenot!" Pietro argues.

"Am so!"

"Arenot!"

"Maybe I'm faster," Lightning says with a smirk.

Pietro gasps, "Youdid_not_justsaythat!"

"I so did!"

"There's_noway_!"

"Way," Lightning smirks.

"Lawr," Raven stops the nonsense, "You aren't. Technically, in a short race, maybe, but Pietro's speed can increase the longer he runs and yours is a constant."

"So, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, you could beat him down the block maybe but in a race around the world. . . Pietro would win."

Lightning pouts, "Why are you taking his side?"

Raven is instantly upset, "I am NOT taking sides. I am merely stating the facts of the matter."

"Well, you _should_ be taking my side!"

"I am being_ impartial_," she says as her eyes begin to glow.

"Well, I'm your _boyfriend_!"

"And he's my. . . oh forget it!" she says, decharging her clipboard before it blows up the room. "Lights! Camera! Action!"

Four men are kneeling next to Remy. They all look frightened. An ominous feeling suddenly appears, making Remy look over at that which approaches. A glowing figure walks slowly over to Legion.

Legion turns his head toward the figure, "five men still alive. The rest have moved on."

The figure walks past Remy and a random extra to Duncan, who is trembling nervously. Apocalypse lights his pipe in Duncan's face. "Do you fear death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare. All your sins punished."

At this point Duncan is more scared than he has ever been in his entire life and starts bawling, "Jean. . . I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have treated you like that. I'm such a loser. I'm so sorry."

Raven stops the camera. "Duncan Matthews! I never figured _you_ to be the one to ruin my play!"

He is staring at Apocalypse and trembling, crying still, "and I cheated on my math test and I lied when I said I liked my Mom's new haircut, so, I, wouldn't, hurt, her feelings. . ."

"That is enough!" Raven groans. "Nur!"

"Well, Raven, what do you expect when a normal human comes into contact with an ancient god?"

"You are NOT a god, Nur!" Raven crosses her arms and taps her feet. "You are a mutant, just like the rest of us!"

"Fine, I'll lay off the fear factor a bit," Nur sighs, defeated.

Raven grumbles in Creole under her breath.

Lightning goes up to Duncan, "Dude, it's just a play. Snap out of it."

Duncan looks up surprised. "Oh, sorry."

Raven nods and glares at Apocalypse.

He gets back in Duncan's face, "I can offer you an escape."

Captain America calls out "Don't listen to him!" Apocalypse turns to look at him. Steve turns his head away, trembling, yes, but clutching a rosary tightly.

He stands and walks over to Steve, grabbing his throat with his crab-like claw. "Do you not fear death?"

"I'll take my chances, sir." Steve answers. Logan stands at the edge of the stage, grinning at his old war buddy, knowing it's probably how he'd really respond.

Apocalypse releases him and says to Lucid, "to the depths."

Lucid cuts his throat and tosses him overboard onto a big bouncy castle that can't be seen by the camera. Course, he neck wasn't really cut, because Lucid is holding a cardboard knife wrapped in aluminum foil, naturally.

"Cruel Blackguard," shouts a random extra.

"Life is cruel," Apocalypse responds. "Why should the afterlife be any different? I offer you a choice," he continues to Duncan. "Join my crew and postpone the judgement. One hundred years before the mast. Will ye serve?"

"I will serve," Duncan stammers.

"There now," Apocalypse stutters on purpose, making fun of Duncan. His crew laughs. He walks on to Remy and looks down. "You are neither dead nor dying," he accuses. "What is your purpose here?"

Remy considers a different answer but finally blurts out, "St. John Allerdyce sent me to settle his dept."

Shocked, Apocalypse repeats, "_What_ is your purpose here?"

"St. John Allerdyce sent me to settle his dept," Remy tells him again.

"Did he, now?" Apocalypse nods. "I'm sorely tempted to accept that offer."

Back on the _Black Pearl_, Johnny is watching through a telescope. She sees Apocalypse turn around and look at him, so he puts the telescope down and, thanks to Lightning this time, Apocalypse has instantly moved from one ship to the other. The crew gasps and backs up, right into the arms of Apocalypse's own crew.

All Johnny can say is, "oh."

" You have a dept to pay," Apocalypse announces. "You've been captain of the _Black Pearl_ for thirteen years. That was our agreement."

"Technically," Johnny says, "I was only captain for two years, then I was viciously mutinied upon."

"Then you were a poor captain," answers Apocalypse, "but a captain nonetheless. Have you not introduced yourself all these years as Captain St. John Allerdyce?" The fish crew laughs.

Pyro turns to him matter-of-factly and says, "You have my payment. One soul to serve on your ship. He's already over there."

"One soul is not equal to another!"

"Aha! We've established my proposal is sound in principle. Now we're just haggling over the price."

"Price?" Apocalypse asks.

Johnny leans in, "Just how many souls do you think my soul is worth?"

"One hundred souls," Apocalypse states. "Three days."

"You're a diamond, mate. Send me back the boy, no offense, Gambit."

"None taken, Pyro," Gambit calls with a wink.

"I'll get started right off."

"I keep the boy. A good-faith payment." Apocalypse demands. "That leaves you only ninety-nine to go."

The fish crew laugh again at Apocalypse's prompting.

"Have you not met Will Turner?" Pyro asks. "He's noble, heroic, a terrific soprano. Worth at least four. Maybe three and a half. And did I happen to mention. . . he's in love? With a girl." Strange music starts to play. Remy looks longingly at Rogue, who sighs. "Due to be married. Betrothed." They are walking in a circle, almost dancing. "Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony. Eh?"

Sharply, Apocalypse cuts him off, "I keep the boy. Ninety-nine souls. But I wonder, Allerdyce, can you live with this? Can you condemn an innocent man, a friend, to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?"

Johnny seems to consider this for a moment, then he replies quickly and cheerfully, "Yep. I'm good with it. Shall we seal it in blood? I mean . . . ink."

Johnny gasps as Apocalypse grabs his hand with his tentacled hand, on which is a special solvent for removing ink. "Three days," Nur says as he pulls his hand away.

" Three days," whispers Spike into Logan's ear as he lets go and the crew of the _Flying Dutchman_ all back silently off stage.

Johnny watches the solvent erase his black spot, "Er, Mr. Howlett?"

"Aye, bub."

"I feel sullied and unusual."

"And how do you intend on harvesting these ninety-nine souls in three days?" Wolverine asks.

"Fortunately, he was mum as to the condition in which these souls need be."

"Ah. Tortuga."

"Tortuga," Pyro answers, wiping his slimy hand on Logan's shirt.

The scene changes to a different ship sailing in the water, we hear Beast's voice stating, "It's an outrage. Port tariffs, berthing fees, wharf handling, and by my stars and garters, pilotage." Hank is in his office on the ship, speaking with Rob and Ray.

"What does pilotage mean?" Jaime asks.

Raven rolls her eyes and Hank states, "Pilotage is a noun that means leadership, wage for a pilot, or position of a pilot. In this sense of the word, we are talking about a fee for having a pilot I believe, which is wholly unfair and. . ."

Raven interrupts, "Can we just get on with the play?"

"Oh, certainly," Hank replies and goes on with his lines. "Are we all to work for the East India Trading Company, then?"

Roberto respectfully replies, "I'm afraid, sir, Tortuga is the only free port left in these waters."

"A pirate port is what you mean," Hank sighs. "Well, I'm sorry. An honest sailor is what I am. I make my living fair and I sleep well each night."

Something white passes behind Hank, out the window. Rob and Ray both back up in fear.

"S-Sir," Ray stutters, pointing.

They all look out the window and gasp as the wedding dress floats by again. They run outside and stop. The dress points to Hank. The crew backs away from him. None of them notice Rogue, still dressed like a male, controlling the dress like it was a puppet.

"She wants you to do something," Roberto says.

"She's trying to give a sign," Hanks whispers.

The dress swishes over them and back, knocking over a lantern. "Whoa!" they all shout and duck to the ground.

"NOOOOO!!" Scott screams, trembling fiercely. Raven rolls her eyes.

Hank glares at Scott before continuing, by pointing to the opposite side of the ship. "Over there! Look for a sign!"

They all run over to the other side and look into the water. Rogue sighs and starts climbing down.

"Look there!" Roberto cries, "There it is! There's the sign!"

"That's seaweed," argues Ray.

"Seaweed can be a sign," Rob insists.

"Looks like entrails," Ray declares.

"That would be a bad sign," Hank remarks.

In a deeper voice, Rogue calls out from behind them where she's sitting on a crate, "What's that oveh there?"

They all turn around slowly and head over to her, staring at the deck. For on the deck, written in fire, thanks to Pyro, is the word Tortuga.

The scene changes once again to a bar in Tortuga, where random pirate extras are shooting their blank guns at random pirate things. Kitty chases a random pirate extra around the bar and a random pirate extra band play a merry pirate tune.

Logan is sitting behind a desk, interviewing applicants for the new crew, "And what makes you think you're worthy to crew the _Black Pearl_, bub?"

Black Eagle stands before him, looking more fragile than he ever did on the show. "Truth be told. I've never sailed a day in me life." He looks uncomfortable as he tries to work a pirate accent into is brusk Native American voice. I figure I should get out, see the world while I'm still young."

"You'll do, make your mark. Next!" Logan calls. During this, John is flipping the compass open and shut, trying to get his feeling straight.

"My wife ran off with my dog," says Mr. Smith, "and I'm drunk for a month and I don't give an ass rat's if I live or die."

Tabitha snickers off stage.

"Perfect! Next!" Logan calls again.

"I know what I want. I know what I want," chants Johnny to the magic compass.

Evan's father steps up, "Me have one arm and a bum leg."

"It's the crow's nest for you!" Logan says cheerfully.

"I know what I bloody want!" Johnny whines.

"Next!"

Jean's father is the last man in line, "Ever since I was a little lad I always wanted to sail the seas. . . forever."

"Sooner than you think," Logan says with a smile. "Sign the roster."

"Thanks very much," he says and goes to sign the paper.

"How are we going?" Johnny asks.

"Including those four, that gives us . . . four." Logan answers. Logan turns back to the table, for another man has walked up. "And what's your story, bub?"

"My story. It's exactly the same as your story, just one chapter behind." Scott says rudely. "I chased a man across the seven seas." Recognizing the voice, Johnny shuts the compass and looks up scared. "The pursuit cost me my crew, my commission, and my life." He grabs Logan's bottle of tea that's supposed to be rum and takes a large swig. "Ugh, it's not even sweet."

"Neither are you!" Raven and Lightning both growl.

Scott whimpers and nearly cries.

"I like my tea straight," shrugs Logan. After a glare from Raven, Logan sets his mind back on the job at hand, "Commodore?"

"No, not anymore. Weren't you listening? I nearly had you all off Tripoli." Johnny grabs a nearby plant to hide behind. "I would have, if not for the hurricane."

"Lord. You didn't try to sail through it."

"So, do I make you crew or not?" Scott asks. "You haven't said where you're going. Somewhere nice?!" Here he was supposed to upturn the table and knock Logan over, but the table was too heavy.

Raven groans, "I'll do it. Say the line again, Scott. . ."

"Somewhere nice?!" Here he _does_ knock the table over and send Logan flying due to Raven's telekinesis. "So, am I worthy to serve under Captain Saint John Allerdyce?" He points his blank gun at the moving potted plant and asks, "Or should I just kill you now?"

Johnny happens to be behind a pillar. He moves to the left. Scott holds the gun on him. He moves to the right. Scott holds the gun on him. Back and forth again and Scott's hold never wavers. "You're hired," Johnny says with a smile.

"Sorry," Scott says with a grin, "old habits and all that." He prepares to fire.

Tabby's father grabs his arm and tells him, "Easy sailor."

"That's our captain you're threatening," Jean's father says as he tries to hold Scott back. The gun goes off. The bullet ricochets off the chandelier, breaks a bottle that a random pirate extra was drinking from. Not knowing what happened, the random pirate extra punches the random pirate extra next to him and a fight ensues. The random pirate band decides to lighten the situation by playing a merry jig while the fight grows bigger and bigger.

Johnny puts the plant back and tells Logan, "time to go."

"Aye," Logan answers.

The commence to weeding their way through the drunken, fighting crowd when Rogue walks in and sees Scott in the middle of the fighting. She starts sword fighting her way over to him.

"Hey," Bobby whines. "How come she gets a real sword?"

"She's my mother," Raven says with one eyebrow lifting in annoyance.

"Oh. . ." Bobby shuts up.

Johnny and Logan make there way up the stairs. A random pirate extra's hat falls off and Johnny tries it on. Another hat falls into his hands, so he takes the first hat and places it on a random extra and puts on the second.

Scott is fighting heroically with his cardboard sword and holding tight to Logan's unsweetened tea, until it's empty that is. Just as that happens, Rogue knocks a random pirate extra into the pillar Scott happens to be leaning against. The random pirate extra is holding another bottle of tea and Scott takes it.

Johnny stops and trades hats with another random pirate extra. He says, "thanks, mate," and pushes the random extra over the railing on accident. The random pirate extra screams. He takes it off, because it's not quite right and stops a couple of men as they are throwing another random pirate extra over the railing. He places the hat on the man's head and tells the others, "carry on." They commence to throwing him over the railing.

Rogue has, in the meantime, made her way over to Scott's back. They are surrounded by random pirate extras with cardboard swords. "Come on, then!" Scott shouts. "Who wants some? Form an orderly line and I'll have you all, one by one. Come on, who's first?"

Annoyed, Rogue grabs the bottle out of his hand and smashes it over his head. Scott falls to the ground unconscious.

Jean freaks out, "Rogue! You weren't really supposed to knock him out!"

"Oops," Rogue says sarcastically.

"Raven, can't you control your mother?!" Jean cries out.

"Um. . . that's pretty much a loaded question, Jean," is Raven's answer.

"On the one hand, yes, she could. . ." Lightning says, slowly nodding his head.

"But on the same token," Raven starts.

"There'd be hell to pay for it," Lightning finishes.

"Yup, definitely," Raven says.

"Not fun," Lightning agrees.

"Not at all," Raven says.

"They're agreeing on something," Kitty whispers to Piotr. "That's scary."

"And she's already upset," Raven says nonchalantly.

"About Rachel's fishing trip?" Lightning asks.

"Yes," Raven continues, "You know that wasn't suppose to happen like that."

"Oh, right and your Papa. . ."

"Not one word about Papa or I'll knock you through that brick wall again!"

"I was just saying how perfect of a man he is. . ."

"You'd better be!"

"Uh, excuse me!" Jean shouts, "unconscious boyfriend over here!"

"Right," Raven and Lightning says.

Scott twitches, even in his blacked-out state.

The random pirate extra stare at Rogue, confused.

"Ah just wanted the pleasure of doin' that myself," Rogue says to fend off their anger.

The crowd cheers and merrily proceeds to throw Scott into the pig pen, which makes Logan rather happy. (1) No one notices Rogue staying behind, except, that is, for Boliver Trask who is watching from the shadows.

"Scott Summers," Rogue says kindly, helping the muddy cyclops up, seeing as he's just gained consciousness. Rogue sighs, "What has the world done to you?"

Another scene change and Apocalypse is using his tentacles to play a sad melody on a huge organ. On the organ lays a strange heart shaped locket. Above him, the crew chants "Heave," causing Scott to scream again, naturally. They are trying to secure a cannon during a thunderstorm, thanks to Storm.

Mesmero orders, "Secure the mast tackle, Mr. LeBeau!" Both Jean-Luc and Remy look up at the cannon and then at Mesmero. "Set to it!" They both head to the task.

"Step aside," Remy says.

"Hey! Min' Yoself!" Jean-Luc shouts over the thunder. With both of them trying to do the same thing, the job isn't getting done. "Le' go, boy!" That's when they both look at each other in the face and recognition dawns on both their faces. "Non. . ." In Jean-Luc's surprise, he lets go of the rope.

Remy can't hold it alone and goes flying as the cannon falls crashing to the deck.

Evan and Mesmero run to see what happened. Mesmero growls, "Haul that weevil to his feet." He waits until the crew does as commanded. "Five lashes will remind you to stay on 'em!" He raises what looks like a cat-of-nine-tails to strike Remy.

"No!" Jean-Luc says, grabbing Mesmero's hand.

Remy starts laughing. "Since when does mon pere raise a hand to help Remy?"

"It's in the script," Raven says with a scowl. Remy can't stop laughing. Raven sighs, "I guess the rest of us will just wait until you're done laughing."

"Wait until he's done?" Lightning groans. "I hate waiting."

"I know something that would take your mind off it," she says with a grin.

Lightning's eyes light up, "Yes, yes, I see how that could work."

Remy stops laughing and starts glaring at them instead.

Raven smiles, "That worked. On with the play!"

"Ah, man," Lightning groans.

"Impeding me in my duties?" Mesmero asks Jean-Luc. "You'll share the punishment."

"I'll take it all," Jean-Luc says.

Remy almost laughs again, but remembers the light in Lightning's eyes and decides against it.

"Will you, now?" comes the fear-inducing voice of Apocalypse. 'And what would prompt such an act of charity?"

"My son," Jean-Luc says, gazing longingly at Remy. "He's my son."

Apocalypse starts laughing. It sounds strange and forced. "What fortuitous circumstance be this?" Despite the rather large and uncommon words here, no one dears to ask what it means. He holds his hand to Mesmero. "Five lashes be owed, I believe it is." Mesmero places the whip in his hand. Apocalypse holds it out to Jean-Luc.

"No, no, I won't!" Jean-Luc refuses.

Remy looks skeptical.

"The cat's out of the bag, Mr. LeBeau!" Apocalypse demands. "Your issue will feel it's sting. Be it by the bosun's hand or your own."

Jean-Luc's eyes grow large. He shakes his head, "no."

"Bosun!" Apocalypse calls.

"No!" Jean-Luc cries out, grabbing the whip.

He stands there and watches as Evan and Facade rip Remy's shirt off.

All the girls start hollering, "Woo", except Raven.

Scott starts screaming. "Stop it, no more! I can't take it!"

Raven clears her throat. "That's quite enough pictures, ladies," she says. "This is my _father_, so please calm yourselves."

Rogue giggles.

Remy grins at the girls, "Like what you see, no?"

"Uh, huh," several of them say.

"Mommy!" Scott screams.

"Too bad it's just for ma chere, Rogue." He grins evilly and Rogue blushes madly.

"Wow. . . they are. . ." Lightning says.

"Just as bad as the girls at your old school, huh?" Raven nods.

"Maybe a little worse. . ." he nods.

"Can we get back to the play, now, girls?" Raven asks. She sounds calm, but she's very angry.

Apocalypse stares Jean-Luc down and Jean-Luc begins whipping Remy. Technically, the whip never touches him, because Raven will not allow her precious Papa to get hurt. After that, and a few seconds break while Pietro places makeup on Remy's back to look like he was hurt, Spike and Facade push Remy down a ladder.

"You had it easy, boy!" Mesmero shouts down at him.

"Remy," Jean-Luc says as he climbs down the ladder.

"Remy don't need your help," Remy growls, struggling to his feet and pushes his father away.

"De bosun pride himself on cleavin' flesh from bone, wit' every swing," Jean-Luc calls after him. He throws a vest in front of him.

"So Remy's to understand what you did was an act of compassion?" Remy asks, unbelieving.

"Oui," answers Jean-Luc LeBeau. Remy puts the vest on as they walk. "A hundred years before de mast, losin' who you were, bit by bit, until you end up. . . end up like poor Caliban here. . ." Caliban appears to be part of the ship itself, due to makeup and Kitty holding on to him behind the wall so he can fit halfway in and halfway out. He's holding a lantern. "Once you've sworn an oat' to the _Dutchman_, dere's no leavin' it. Not until your dept is paid."

"Remy swore no oath," he says, shaking his head.

"You must get away," Jean-Luc insists.

Remy pulls out the drawing of a key, "Not until I find t'is. T'e key."

Caliban opens his eyes and pulls out of the wall. "The dead man's chest."

"What do you know of t'is?" Remy asks him.

"Open the chest with the key, and stab the heart. . . No, no, don't stab the heart. The _Dutchman_ needs a living heart or there'll be no captain, and if there's no captain, there's no one to have the key."

"So t'e captain has t'e key?" Remy asks, nodding his head.

Caliban starts drawing back into the ship.

"Where is t'e key?" Remy asks.

"Hidden," Caliban answers.

"Where is t'e chest?"

"Hidden," Caliban replies, closing his eyes again.

"And cut!" Raven calls.

"What was all dat about me not helpin' you, Rems? Didn't I take you in and care for you like me own son?" Jean-Luc rants.

"T'e only t'ings you care about are power and money!" Remy shouts back.

"How can you say such a t'ing to your Papa?" he snaps.

"Easy, you ain't no pere of mine!" Remy growls.

"I be de only pere you got, boy!"

"Remy don' need no pere!" he insists.

"Oh bother," Rogue groans. "Not again. . ."

"This happens often?" Hank asks.

"Every family dinneh. . ." deadpans Rogue.

"And how would you know that?" Jean asks.

Rogue rolls her eyes. "Ah've been to one or two. . . coughdozencough."

Kitty give her an "you've been holding out on me look" and Rogue sighs, "Ah'm dead, ain't Ah?"

Kitty grabs her by the arm, "let's talk." And she pulls Rogue out of the room.

And now's a good a time as any for us to wonder off as well.

* * *

To be continued. . .

* * *

**A/N: (1) It was Logan in the pig pen last time.**

I am having issues finding a good translator for English to Creole. I speak French, but the Cajun dialect is very different from the French they teach in school. I wanted to learn Cajun French, but she wouldn't teach me. If anyone knows of a good site for this, please let me know!

Hey, sorry about the long wait. Life happens.

Next up, Rogue finds Johnny and it's all about the rum!! Well, the tea anyways. And Remy learns a new game.


	7. Rum and Dice

**Disclaimer: Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. The part that says I own Raven, Rachel, Serena and Lightning is floating on a piece of driftwood.**

* * *

A/N:

This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!

* * *

And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . .

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Scene 6: Rum and Dice

Raven and Lightning walk in, holding hands and smiling at each other.

The cast looks up startled. "Where have you been?" Kitty demands, stamping her foot. "Do you realize how long it's been?"

Raven rolls her eyes. Not much time has passed for her or her boyfriend, but time traveling does have its advantages. "We thought we'd be nice and let everyone heal."

Pietro stands up quickly, "Andweallappreciatethat, butcanwegetthisoverwith?"

Raven shrugs. She likes having the cast beg her to work for a change. "Lights! Camera! Action!"

Logan and Pyro are walking across a shipyard towards the _Pearl_. Rogue follows a few paces behind, and behind _her_ walks Scott. "Captain Allerdyce!" calls Rogue.

Logan and Johnny barely look back and keep walking, "Come to join me crew, lad? Welcome aboard."

"Ah'm here ta find the man Ah love," Rogue states.

That stops them. Logan turns, but Johnny stands very still as he says, "I'm deeply flattered, son, but my first and only love is the sea." He signals for Logan to get rid of Rogue.

Scott suddenly runs to the dock's rail and throws up. He'd eaten a bowl of Kitty's special Surprise Soup before filming, and he is regretting it now.

Rogue looks annoyed, "Meanin' Remy LeBeau, Captain Allerdyce." Remy grins offstage. "Oh, get your lousy swamp rat head out av the clouds, Remy LeBeau! It's in the script!"

Raven whimpers. Lightning consoles her by patting her back softly, "It's okay. This is perfectly normal. It happens every time." That's when Raven starts hitting herself over the head with her clipboard.

Pyro decides to make Raven's day by turning around quickly and whispering, "Anna." He then turns immediately to Logan and says, "Hide the rum." Logan looks down at the bottle of tea curiously before turning to head on his way. Johnny turns to Rogue and says, "You know these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing."

Remy grins and says, "Remy completely agree, mon ami."

Rogue gives him her death glare, and Wanda kindly turns to him and smacks him over the back of the head.

Pyro tries not to laugh as he points back at the ship. "I happen to have no dress in my cabin."

"Johnny," Rogue growls. She takes a breath to calm herself and then goes on. "Ah know Remy came ta find y'all. Where is he?"

Shaking unsteadily, he sighs. "Darling, I am truly unhappy to have to tell you this, but. . ." He walks closer to her. "Through an unfortunate and entirely unforeseeable series of circumstances that had nothing whatsoever to do with me, poor Remy has been press-ganged into Apocalypse's crew."

"Apocalypse?" she asks.

Johnny nods as Scott vomits again loudly. Scott hisses, "Oh, please." He tries to stand up and finds it is almost possible. "The captain of the _Flying Dutchman_?"

Johnny says truthfully, "You look bloody awful. What are doing here?"

"You hired me," Scott scowls. "I can't help it if your standards are lax."

"You smell funny," Johnny taunts back.

"Johnny!" Rogue demands. "All Ah want is ta find Remy."

"Th' question is what are ya goin' do when you find him?" Remy has a huge grin on his face.

"Gambit!" Raven cries out.

"Oh, sorry, Petite D'Ange. Remy forget he was in a room full of people."

Raven grins, "It's alright, Gambit. Just try not to swim in the gutters during my play, n'est pas?"

"Sure thang, Cherie," he says with a smile.

Rogue rolls her eyes, "He should probably thank you. . . I was going to smack him."

Raven rolls her eyes back, "Back to the play, people!"

Johnny breathes, "I can't do that." He stops to consider something. "Are you certain? Is that what you really want most?"

"Av course," Rogue declares.

"Because I would think you'd want to find a way to save Remy most." He places his arm around her and starts leading her onto his ship.

Rogue stops and steps away, "And y'all'd have a way av doin' that?"

"Well. . ." Pyro whines, "There is a chest."

"Oh, dear," Scott interrupts.

"A chest of unknown size and origin," Pyro pretends Scott didn't say anything.

"What contains the still-beating heart of Apocalypse," Lance says suddenly appearing as if from nowhere, carrying one end of a huge crate. Toad is naturally on the other end of the crate, making a sign with his hand of a beating heart and thumping noises to go along.

"And whoever possesses that chest," Johnny continues, "possesses the leverage to command Apocalypse to do whatever it is he or she wants, including saving brave Remy from his grim fate."

Scott walks up, looking about as lovely as Kitty's soup. "You don't actually believe him, do you?"

Rogue pauses for a moment. "How would we find it?"

"With this," he states, holding up the compass that doesn't point north. He opens it as he says, "My compass… is unique." He shuts it.

"'Unique' here having the meaning of 'broken'," Scott argues.

"True enough," Pyro agrees, "this compass does not point north."

Scott runs to throw up again.

"Where does it point?" Rogue asks, ignoring the disgusting sound coming from Scott's general area.

"It points to the thing you want most in this world," Johnny tells her.

Rogue smiles and shakes her head, "Oh, Johnny." Her eyes well up because Pietro has just pinched her sharply. "Are you telling the truth?"

"Every word, love," Johnny insists. "And what you want most in this world is to find the chest of Apocalypse, is it not?" He places the compass in her hands.

"Ta save Remy!"

"By finding the chest of Apocalypse." He opens the compass and backs away.

The compass, one of Forge's inventions, spins around and around and finally comes to a stop. Johnny peeks over the top. "Mr. Howlett?"

"Cap'n," calls Logan.

"We have our heading," Johnny says merrily.

"Finally," complains the long-suffering Wolverine. "Cast off those lines. Weigh anchor and crowd that canvas!"

"Miss Xavier," Johnny formally invites her to enter the _Black Pearl_.

Logan continues to bark out orders and Rogue walks on board. Scott starts to follow but is stopped by Lance, who hands him a goat. "Welcome to the crew, former commodore."

The scene changes to Pietro's office, where a random extra is painting a boat onto a map very carefully. Pietro pulls a sword out of its sheath and says, "There'ssomethingtoknowing theexactshapeoftheworld and one'splaceinit. Don't you agree?"

Charles is sitting in handcuffs, guarded by Warren and a random soldier extra. "I assure you, these are not necessary."

"Ihadyoubroughtherebecause Ithoughtyou'dbeinterested inthewhereabouts ofyourdaughter," Pietro says as he plays with the sword.

"You have news of her," Charles asks.

"Most recently seen on the island of Tortuga," Trask says. He is peering through a large, stationary spyglass. "And then left in the company of a known pirate, St. John Allerdyce, and other fugitives from justice."

"'Justice'? Hardly," Xavier disagrees.

"Including thepreviousowner ofthissword, Ibelieve," Pietro says, sheathing the same sword that was used in the last play at Scott's "commodore ceremony." "Ourshipsareinpursuit. Justicewillbedispensed bycannonadeandcutlass,"

"Okay, okay, I cannot take this anymore!" Evan whines. "Seriously, it is hard enough to understand Pietro without him using old-fashioned words no one uses anymore!"

Lightning's eyes grow very large. He blinks. "Evan. . . you should probably run."

Evan's face is blank for a second, just until he sees Raven's angry, glowing eyes. Then, he starts running.

Raven turns back to the stage and says, "Pietro, once again. . . slower."

Pietro rolls his eyes, "Ourships arein pursuit. Justicewill bedispensed bycannonade andcutlass, andall mannerof remorselesspieces ofmetal. Ipersonally findit distastefulto evencontemplate thehorror facingall thoseon board." Here he looks over his shoulder at Professor Xavier.

After fiddling with his chains, Charles looks up at him, "what do you want from me?"

"Yourauthority asgovernor, yourinfluence inLondon, andyour loyaltyto theEast IndiaTrading Company," responds Quicksilver.

"To you, you mean," Xavier says hopelessly.

Pietro walks carefully to the wooden wheelchair and asks, "shallI removethese shackles?"

"Do what you can for my daughter."

Boliver Trask comes over and removes the handcuffs.

Pietro tells him, "Soyou see, Trask, everyman hasa pricehe willwillingly accept. Evenfor whathe hopednever tosell."

Dice hit the table in a new scene, aboard the _Flying Dutchman_. Three men, Evan, David Haller, and Facade (1), set cups over them. Legion looks at Facade and says, "I wager… ten years."

"I'll match ten years," Evan says.

"Agreed," Facade smirks.

Remy is watching the game intently. He loves gambling of any sort. Jean-Luc walks up behind him, "Wonderin' how it's played?"

"Remy understand," he says.

"Liar," calls out Legion.

"It's a game of deception, But your bet includes all of t'e dice, not just your own."

The men check the dice, and Legion was wrong. Evan points his finger at Legion and laughs.

"What are t'ey wagering?" Remy wants to know.

"Oh, de only t'ing we have. Years of service," Jean-Luc informs him.

"So any crew member can be challenged?"

"Oui. Anyone," Jean-Luc responds without thinking what Remy is planning.

Remy has a plan however and remarks, "Remy challenge Apocalypse."

The entire crew of the _Dutchmen _stop what they are doing and stare at him. The ominous feeling starts to overtake the crew and the barnacles and other sea creature close up as footsteps are heard coming closer. Facade starts laughing. Apocalypse climbs down the steps and says, "I accept, mate."

Lightning starts giggling.

"What now?" Raven groans.

"It's just odd how he just uses the word I to talk about himself in this dimension," he starts laughing.

"Ahh. . . you're missing the 'I, God of Egypt, Master of All Mutants, accept your daring and misguided proposal, insignificant gnat of a mortal!'?" she says, smirking.

"Yup," Lightning laughs.

"I like this Nur better," Raven grins. "He's less annoying."

"He really is," Lightning agrees.

"Can we get on with the play now?" Raven asks.

Lightning nods and notices Apocalypse does _not_ look amused. Lightning gulps.

Remy sits down in front of a crate. The Juggernaut and Gauntlet set a tabletop on top of the crate. Someone sets a set of dice and a cup in front of Remy. Apocalypse sets forth to join the game, and Remy stands to meet him. "The stakes?"

"Remy's soul. An eternity of servitude," Remy explains.

"You'd make a good Death," Nur says with a grin (2).

Raven's eyes start glowing, "Of all the people on this set to screw up the script!"

"Forgive me," Nur simply states. "I was only noticing how powerful your father is."

"Isn't he?" she sighs.

Lightning rolls his eyes, "Ravie. . . the play?"

"Oh, yeah! Back to the play, people!" she yells.

"Non!" Jean-Luc cries out.

"Against?" Apocalypse asks.

Remy takes out the cloth Johnny gave him and drops it on the table. "Remy wants t'is."

Apocalypse picks up the cloth and unfolds it. He suddenly seems angry, and an angry Apocalypse is a seriously scary thing. He throws the cloth on the table. "How do you know of the key?"

"T'at's not part of t'e game, is it?" Remy responds. He sits down again. "You can still walk away."

Apocalypse sits ominously down, only because he doesn't know how to sit any other way. He pulls the key out using Forge's weird tentacle thingys that are part of his makeup. Remy's eyes grow big, and he puts the key away again. The two men shake their cups and turn them face down on the table. A third cup hits the table as well. "What's this?" Apocalypse asks Jean-Luc.

"I'm in. Matchin' his wager."

"Non! Don't do t'is," Remy pleads.

"De die is cast," Jean-Luc replies in a rather final way. "I bid t'ree twos." Remy tries to look sadly away, but fails miserably. "C'est your bid, Captain."

Apocalypse laughs, which frightens over half of the cast and crew. "Four fours."

Remy thinks over his response and declares, "Four fives."

"Six t'rees," Jean-Luc says.

Nur looks at his dice. There are four fives under his cup. He states, "Seven fives."

Remy looks under his cup. There are three fives. Jean-Luc looks under his. There are no fives. Remy bids, "Eight fives."

Apocalypse laughs, "Welcome to the crew, lad."

"Twelve fives," Jean-Luc says before Nur can officially call Remy a liar. "Twelve fives. Call me a liar, or up de bid."

"And be called a liar myself for my trouble?" He grabs Jean-Luc's cup and lifts it away. "Bootstrap John, you're a liar and you will spend an eternity on this ship." He stands up. "Master Turner, feel free to go ashore… the very next time we make port!" He laughs very evilly and his crew joins in. Duncan Matthews, who happens to be on deck, starts to cry. Apocalypse and the crew turn and walk off, still laughing.

Remy turns to Jean-Luc, "Bioque (3), why did you do t'at?"

"I couldn't let y' lose," Jean-Luc says in despair.

Remy shakes his head, "It was never about winnin' or losin'."

"The key. Y' just wanted to know where it was."

While Facade snores, Jean-Luc and Remy sneak up deck. Jean-Luc goes to Cain and says, "Captain says I'm to relieve y'." Cain does not look to happy about it, and stands in front of the wheel. "Captain's orders," growls Jean-Luc.

Meanwhile, Remy silently sneaks into the Captain's quarters and replaces the key with the drawing of the key. This is easy for him to do, being a master thief and all. At one point, a tentacle falls on the piano, nearly waking Apocalypse, but instead, the strange heart-shaped locket plays a lullaby and he pretends to go into a deep sleep again.

Back up on deck, Remy places the key on a necklace around his neck and Jean-Luc prepares a lifeboat. He hands Remy a dagger, "Here. Take t'is, too. Now get y'rself to land and stay t'ere. It was always in my blood to die at sea. But it was not a fate I ever wanted for y'."

Remy looks over the dagger and tries to pretend Jean-Luc was a good father. The thought nearly has him laughing again, but he catches himself and says the line, "It's not a fate you had to choose for yourself, either."

"Oui. I could say I did what I had to, when I left y' to go pirating. But it would taste a lie to say it wasn't what I wanted."

"How do you taste a lie?" Bobby asks.

Raven promptly slams his head into the floor with her telekinesis. "It's something like that," she growls.

Wisely, Jean-Luc decides to continue his lines, "Y' owe me not'in', Rems."

"Remy wish t'at were true," he spits out under his breath.

Jean-Luc rolls his eyes, "now go."

"T'ey'll know you helped me," Remy says.

Jean-Luc laughs. "What more can dey do to me?"

Dramatically, Remy holds the knife up. "Remy take t'is wit' a promise. He'll find a way to sever Apocalypse's hold on ya, and not rest 'til t'is blade pierces his heart."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Mesmero laughs.

Lightning electrocutes him.

"Thank you, Lawr," Raven says with a smile.

"Anything for you, my dear," he grins.

"Back to the play," Raven states, still smiling at Lightning.

"Remy will not abandon you. He promise."

The scene changes to the _Black Pearl_, whose sails have been patched with fabric of all colors which rob the ship of its menacing appearance. Among the crew scrubbing the deck is Scott, who looks less sick.

Logan is talking with Rogue and Pyro, "Maximoff?"

"Yes, they're signed," Rogue answers. Scott listens closely as she goes on. "Lord Pietro Maximoff of the East India Trading Company."

"Bluergh!" Pyro says at the mention of "Lord Pietro."

Logan growls, "Remy was working for Maximoff and he never said a word. Maximoff wants the compass. Only one reason for that."

"Of course," Johnny says solemnly. . . well, as solemnly as he possibly can anyway. "He wants the chest."

"Yeah, he did say somethin' 'bout a chest," Rogue agrees.

"If the company controls the chest, they controls the sea," Logan growls.

"A truly discomforting notion, love," Johnny states.

"And bad." Logan in all up in Rogue's face while he says this last remark. Needless to say, Rogue is rather uncomfortable. "Bad for every mother's son what calls himself a pirate. I think there's a bit more speed to be coaxed from these sails." He runs off yelling, "Brace the foreyard!"

Rogue is left relatively alone with Johnny. I say relatively alone because Scott and the others who are scrubbing the deck are still within hearing distance. She starts to walk off, but Johnny stops her. "Might I enquire as to how you came by these?" He walks towards her as he asks; she backs away.

"Persuasion."

"Friendly?"

"Decidedly not," Rogue insists.

"Remy strikes a deal for these and upholds it with honor, yet you were the one standing here with the prize – full pardon. 'Commission as a privateer on behalf of England and the East India Trading Company.' As if I could be bought with so low a price. Now throw in some spiked Pepsi and Pixi Stix and we'd have a bargain." Pyro grins with a nod to his squirrel army guard.

Lightning says calmly, "Raven dear, Pyro is essential to the play."

"I'd only hurt him a little bit," she complains.

"A little bit for you and a little bit for Pyro are two very different things, my love."

She sighs, "but. . . my play."

He grins at her, "I'll buy you some ice cream later."

"Deal," she nods, "Bobby, deal with Pyro's interruption, si tu plait."

Bobby, in fear for his life, blasts Pyro with his powers.

"Ahh! That's cold, mate!" Johnny whines.

"Next time," Raven says.

"Stick to the script!" Raven and Lightning yell.

Scott covers his ears and rocks himself, chanting quickly, "It's okay. Professor X will save me."

Raven rolls her eyes, "Back to the play, everyone!"

Rogue runs after Johnny, who is placing the letters in his pocket. "Johnny, the letters, give 'em back."

"No. Persuade me."

"Y'all do know Remy taught me how ta handle a sword?"

"As I said," he says turning towards her, ignoring both angry glares from Wanda and red hot furious glares from Gambit, "persuade me."

Disgusted with his "advances," Rogue walks off. She walks to the edge of the ship and leans upon the railing.

Scott walks up and leans on the railing next to her.

"Just when Ah wanted ta be alone," Rogue mumbles under her breath.

"It's a curious thing," Scott starts. "There was a time I would have given anything for you to look like that while thinking about me." He holds up a copy of the script at Jean, who is looking as jealous as Wanda and Remy.

Rogue declares, "Ah don't know what y'all mean."

"Oh, I think you do."

Pietro laughs.

"What now?" Raven groans.

"Scooterdinckwasthinking. . ." he rolls around on the floor.

"Ha ha, very funny," Scott growls. He lifts his glasses and almost hits Pietro. Pietro obviously moved out of the way.

"That's enough!" Lightning shouts.

"Back to the play!" Raven is hovering over her seat, and her eyes and clipboard are glowing. Both Scott and Pietro gulp and nod quickly. She sits down and decharges the clipboard.

"Oh, don't be absurd. Ah trust him, that's all."

Scott snorts and starts to walk off. He thinks better off it and turns around. "So you never wondered how your latest fiancé ended up on the _Flying Dutchman_ in the first place?" He shakes his head and walks off.

Rogue rolls her eyes and picks up the compass. When it stops she looks up toward where it points. It is pointing, thanks to Forge, at Johnny. About to cry, she shuts the compass.

The scene changes to a new ship. Hank is talking to Remy, who is covered by a blanket and drinking warm tea. "Strange thing to come upon a longboat in so far out in open water."

"Just put as many leagues behind us as you can. As fast as you can." Remy is rocking back and forth as if he is both cold and frightened.

"And what are we running from," Beast asks.

Gambit doesn't wish to answer, so he avoids the question by becoming distracted by a dress in the corner. On closer look, he recognizes it as the dress Rogue wore in Scene One. "T'at dress. Where did you get it?"

"Wardrobe," Beast says, then thinks better of it and continues with, "I mean, it was found aboard the ship. The crew thought it was a spirit bringing some omen of ill-fate."

"T'at's foolish," Remy says, holding the dress.

"Oh, yes. Exceedingly foolish," Ray says.

Beast mutters, "Just like this play." At which point he goes flying into the wall.

"Raven!"

"Lawr, be glad I didn't through him _through_ the wall."

Beast gets up, rather sorely and goes back to his place, "I am exceedingly sorry."

"You'd better be," growls Raven.

Rob decides Raven is mad enough and says his lines. "It brought good fortune. The spirit told us, 'Pull in at Tortuga,' and we made a nice bit of profit there."

Remy looks frustrated.

"Off the books, of course," Beast chimes in.

"Remy imagine some of the crew may have jumped ship t'ere."

"Why do you ask?"

At that moment, a random sailor extra bursts down the stairs and cries out, "Captain! A ship's been spotted!"

"Colors?"

"She isn't flying any."

"Pirates," Beast says.

"Or worse," Remy proposes.

On the _Dutchmen_, Apocalypse clutches the drawing of a key. He looks out of the ship ahead, and then turns swiftly around. He grabs Jean-Luc's throat. "You will watch this." He lets go.

Several of the crewmen are turning a large. . . thingy. Mesmero has his whip back. He is striking them as they go around. He is taking entirely too much pleasure in his part.

There is quiet on the set as Apocalypse speaks, "Let no joyful voice be heard! Let no man look up at the sky with hope. And let this day be cursed by we who ready to wake the kraken." A large cylinder-like thing lifts up and then falls, making a loud banging noise.

"NO!" Jean-Luc screams as the vibrations race through the water.

"And cut!"

Remy is glaring at Pyro. The squirrels take up defensive positions. "Remy don't t'ink he likes t'e way t'is plot is headed, cher," he says to Raven.

She shrugs, "Don't blame me. I didn't write it."

"Mais, t'is is going to end right, no?"

"It ends the way it ends," Raven says nonchalantly.

Rogue laughs, "A little jealous, Rems?"

"Oh, so now you're teasing, Remy? When did our relationship get turned upside down?"

"Relationship? Who says we're in one?" Rogue argues for the sake of arguing.

"You did last night!"

"Last night a bunch of whores wouldn't leave y'all alone!"

"One whore! And she was ugly!"

"And twice Logan's age!" Rogue spits back.

"Oh come on! She couldn't have been _t'at_ old!"

Raven is grinning at them. Lightning comes up behind her and puts his arm around her waist. "Ice cream," he whispers in her ear. She nods and they are gone.

Now's a good time for us to leave as well.

* * *

To be continued. . .

* * *

**A/N: **(1) Facade is a Morlock.

(2) In the comics, there was a period of time where Remy was Death, one of Apocalypse's horsemen. I am not sure how he got out of that one, because I don't read the comics, but if anyone knows, please inform me!

(3) Fool

Hey, sorry about the long wait. Life happens. I am going to college now, and my 4-yr-old niece has be diagnosed with cancer. I hate leaving everyone hanging like this, but I just have a really busy life. Not to mention, the Pirates trilogy is a LOT longer than a regular Disney movie and to fit each one into 10 chapters makes for VERY LONG chapters. . . they are difficult to write. Just too let everyone know, during my niece's surgery, they removed the tumor, and apparently, they got all the cancer! So, YAY!

Okay, I am thoroughly confused. Does anyone know if fanfiction does not count misspelled words in its word count? I uploaded a 4,135 word document and it says 3,594. . . Somehow I have lost nearly 600 words, and yet, I have gone over it and everything is still here. . . Let me know!

Next up, the kraken comes after Remy and they find the chest!


	8. Was That the Kraken?

**Disclaimer: Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. The part that says I own Raven, Rachel, Serena and Lightning is floating on a piece of driftwood.**

* * *

A/N: This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!

* * *

And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . .

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Scene 7: Was That the Kraken?

When Raven and Lightning arrive on set, Pietro, Pyro, Rogue, and Wanda are all playing keep-away with Remy. Instead of a ball, they are tossing the script around. "Aw, come on, mes amis, have a heart!" Remy calls as Rogue throws the script to Pietro.

"Sorry, sugah, can't do that right now."

Remy turns to Pietro only to find he's already tossed the script to Pyro. Pyro looks at it and grabs a lighter. "I could make this easy."

Wanda grabs the script, "Then how would we finish the play, you idiot?"

"Oh, yeah…"

"I know a good way to finish the play," Raven says cheerfully.

"How?" the five of the cast members ask. Scott, who has just arrived on set, screams bloody murder. Jean rolls her eyes.

"We start the play now!" Lightning tells them, after the ringing in his head stops.

"Lights! Camera! Action!" Raven calls.

Beast, Rob, Ray, and Remy run out on deck. Remy starts climbing the rigging. Beast looks through a spyglass, and what does he see? The _Flying Dutchman_ is head straight for them. Remy stares forlornly out at the doom-carrying vessel. "Remy's doomed us all," he says under his breath. "C'est t'e _Flying Dutchman_," he cries out from the top of the sail. The whole ship is jolted by a large crash, which is technically Raven's powers again, and Remy nearly falls, barely managing to grab onto a random rope. Rogue feels her heart leap into her chest and she gasps. Remy smirks down at her, but doesn't say a word.

Roberto is practically sitting on Ray's lap. He tries to stand up. "Oh, Mother Carey's chickens! What happened? Who is Mother Carey, and why do I care about her chickens?"

"Does is really matter who Mother Carey is?" Lightning asks with a groan.

"And I know exactly why you should care about her chickens," Raven snaps.

"Because it says so in the script!" Raven and Lightning both yell.

"Waahhh!" Scott yells, running to find Jean, who holds him and pats his back reassuringly.

"Well, at least you can see what it'll be like to have his kids," Tabby remarks nonchalantly.

Jean glares at her, but almost everyone else starts laughing. Raven is the only one who doesn't.

"Are we quite finished?" she asks the cast and crew. They stop laughing. "Good, then _back to work_!" she screams.

"Must have hit a reef," Ray announces.

As Remy climbs back up to the top of the sail, Beast looks down at the nearly calm water. "Free the rudder! Hard to port then hard to starboard."

"Free the rudder!" a random sailor extra calls.

"Hard to port!" Rob yells.

That's about the time a strange tentacle comes up behind them and grabs Beast. In an instant, he's gone. The tentacle is a part of one of Forge's greatest masterpieces ever built, the almost all-powerful, yet fully-controllable, IAR Kraken! No one on the ship saw it take Beast, and Pietro pulled him out of the water before he drowned. Well, that is not entirely correct. One person on the ship saw it happen. He stands, speechless, and points at where Beast once stood. Rob turns to look, just as the IAR Kraken raises a fake Beast out of the water. Beast screams into a microphone off stage to make it seem like his character is still alive. The crew of the ship starts freaking out. "Kraken!" they shout, "Kraken!" Scott whimpers and holds Jean tighter; she keeps patting his back. Another random sailor extra rings a bell as his crew members run around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Remy doesn't know what to do. He watches in horror as tentacles slither up the side of the ship. He watches as the crew grabs spears and axes to try and fight off the mighty Forge-made beast, each of them silently praying it doesn't blow up.

Roberto has found the wedding dress and offers it to the IAR Kraken. "Here it is! Take it! Take it!" Apparently, the IAR Kraken is not interested in the dress. It is interested in grabbing the crew members and tossing them about, torturing them slowly, and drowning them. The men slam the axes on it and try shooting it. Nothing stops it. Forge is wearing a rather smug look on his face. A tentacle wraps around the mast and severs it. Remy gets tossed around again. Another gasps escapes Rogue as she clinches her eyes shut. As the sail falls, he jumps to the next one. In order to slow his fall, he pulls out the dagger Jean-Luc gave him and drives it into the sail, ripping it, but effectively slowing his descent. He catches the ropes at the bottom. He's still too far above the deck to fall safely. He climbs up to the boom and uses his bo staff to beat away a tentacle. As the tentacles loom up taller than the mainsail, Remy looks death in the face and grimaces. The tentacles crash into the ship, splintering the vessel into thousands of pieces. The men that are still alive scream and try to jump out of the way. Very few survive. Well, technically, all of them survive, thanks to Pietro and Lightning, but it sounds better if very few of them survive. Remy watches as a mouth opens in the middle of the torn ship and a random sailor extra drops in. He looks disgusted. As the mast his sail is on breaks, he dives into the ocean and finally gets a good look at the extent of Forge's genius. The IAR creature is one to bring him nightmares for the rest of his life, and not just because Forge built it. It is a horribly frightening image, huge and very realistic. He comes up to breathe. "Petite D'Ange?"

"Oui, Papa?" The cast and crew all look at Raven funny again. She rolls her eyes.

"Did ya help Forge design t'at t'ing?" he asks.

The evil grin on her face is enough of an answer for him. "Oui, _Gambit_."

He groans. "Merde… Remy's gonna have nightmares for years."

She almost laughs at him, but doesn't. "Just wait until the next scene. That one's even scarier."

"What about t'e next scene, Raven? In ain't in Remy's copy of t'e script."

Raven looks at her boyfriend nervously. Lightning bites his bottom lip. "On with the play!" he yells just as nervous as the look on Raven's face.

Remy glares at them. He finds a board to hold him above the water and looks on the destruction with fearful awe. That's the time he senses a shadow and looks over to find the _Flying Dutchman_ right behind him. He jumps off his board and toward the ship that's still intact.

Dead men, or more precisely dead props, float in the water, and a wedding dress drifts up as the strange lullaby from Apocalypse's locket plays. Legion saunters up to Apocalypse, who is surveying the gruesome scene. "The boy's not here. He must have been claimed by the sea."

"I am the sea!" shouts Apocalypse.

"Now, _that's_ the Apocalypse we all know and love," Lightning whispers to Raven, making her giggle.

Apocalypse glares at them, but walks to Jean-Luc and says, "You need time alone with your thoughts. Brig!"

"What of the survivors?" Legion asks. There are about six of them. Remy can see them from his vantage point on the outside of the hull.

"There are no survivors," Apocalypse says cruelly. His crew takes pleasure in pretending to slaughter the men with cardboard and foil-lined axes and swords. Apocalypse thinks he hears something and turns his head in Remy's direction. Remy hides quicker than he turns, however, and he is safe – for now. Nur walks to the edge, but can see nothing. He turns to Spyke and says, "The chest is no longer safe. Chart a course to Isla Cruces. Get me there first, or there'll be the devil to pay."

Evan looks at him stupidly, only because he doesn't know how else to look. "First?"

"Who sent that thieving charlatan onto my ship? Who told him of the key? Jack Sparrow."

And with that, Evan turns to follow orders like a good little sea turtle. (1) Remy climbs into a strange mouth-like thing at the front of the ship. The wedding dress drifts slowly to the bottom of the sea. Rogue throws confetti and cheers as she watches the dress drop out of sight forever.

Rogue doesn't have long to celebrate the hated dress's demise, however, because the next scene stars her. So she rushes to sit on the stairs that lead to the upper deck of the _Black Pearl_. She thinks of Remy nearly falling to his doom in the last scene to give herself the appearance of looking forlorn. Pyro, carrying a bottle of tea that's supposed to be rum, walks over and sits on a step a few lower than hers. The squirrel army tenses up. He leans to her and opens his mouth. "My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled."

She looks at him and then pinches herself to make tears well up in her eyes. "Ah just thought Ah'd be married by now. Ah'm so ready ta be married."

"All ya gotta do is ask, chérie," Remy says with a smirk.

"Ya stupid Cajun! Why do ya always have ta ruin my scenes!" She throws a prop at him. He ducks out of the way.

Remy continues to smirk at her. "Can't help it if ya keep distractin' Remy wit' your beauty."

Rogue blushes. "Shut – up," she manages to murmur. He grins back.

Raven is beating her head with the clipboard again. Even though she always enjoys the playful banter between her parents, she _really_ hates being interrupted. Lightning pats her back. She turns to him. "I can't do this. I just can't!"

"Of course you can. I'm here, aren't I?"

"Some consolation," she says with a groan.

"What is that supposed to mean?" he snaps.

"What it sounded like!" Raven says. Her eyes are glowing again.

The cast and crew sit down. Fred makes popcorn, which Toad steals. He has time to make another batch. Pietro starts charging for the seats in the very back of the stage, out of the danger zone. After about two hours and several broken chairs, tables, and other miscellaneous objects, Raven admits she _can_ do the play, and a very sore and very smug Lightning, who won't be sore very long, smiles at his fiancée and sits back in his chair.

"Carry on," Raven says to Rogue and Johnny.

Johnny nods. He uncorks the tea and hands the bottle to Rogue. She wipes off the top and takes a swig. "You know…" Johnny starts, with nervous glances at Wanda and Remy. "Annie, I am the captain of a ship, and being captain of a ship, I could in fact perform a marriage right here. Right on this deck. Right… now."

Rogue backs away from his tea-scented breath, pretending it is the foul stench of rum. Remy's eyes are the ones glowing now. He is once again shuffling his cards quickly and Piotr is standing right behind him, ready, just in case. Rogue hands the tea back with a disgusted look on her face. She gets up saying, "No, thank you." Remy visibly relaxes a bit.

"Why not?" Pyro says, following her, ignoring the two most obvious reasons why not, both of which look like they want to tear the set to pieces. "We are very much alike, you and I. I and you. Us."

"Oh. Except fer a sense av honoh and decency and, and a moral centeh," Rogue snaps at the pyromaniac from her position against the ship's rails. "And sanity," she adlibs. She looks at him. "And personal hygiene." Everyone looks at Toad.

"What?" he asks.

Pyro decides they've wasted enough time, and, ignoring the question of his sanity, sniffs his underarms. "Trifles. You will come over to my side. I know it."

"Y'all seem very certain," Rogue says.

"One word, luv. Curiosity. You long for freedom." He is standing beside her against the rails and leans in. Remy starts shuffling his cards angrily again. Piotr tenses up, just in case. "You long to do what you bloody want to do because you want it. To act on selfish impulse. You want to see what it's like. One day," he says, backing up a bit, much to Remy's delight, "you won't be able to resist."

Rogue figures her best bet is to change the subject completely. "Why doesn't y'all's compass work?"

A pained look crosses Pyro's face. "My compass works fine."

"That's what she said," Bobby says. He is immediately slammed into the brick wall. "Ouch… Sorry, Raven." He passes out. Raven raises an eyebrow at the cast.

"Because y'all and I _are_ alike," Rogue continues with the script as if the whole Bobby incident hadn't happened, "and there will come a moment when ya have a chance ta show it. Ta do the right thin'."

St. John looks uncomfortable. "I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by." He tries to walk off.

This time, Rogue follows him. "Y'all'll have the chance ta do somethin'… somethin' courageous. And when ya do, y'all'll discover somethin'." He looks at her. "That y'all're a good man."

He smirks and they look at the sea. "All evidence to the contrary." It is probably a good thing that Bobby is still unconscious and can't ask what the phrase means.

Rogue laughs. "Oh, Ah have faith in ya." She turns her body toward him. "Want ta know why?"

"Do tell, shelia," he says.

"Mostly 'cause Wanda trusts ya fer some stupid reason." They both laugh before catching the eye of a furious blue teenager. "Sheesh, Raven, Ah was just havin' a lil' fun. Ya let the Swamp Rat do it all the time."

"The 'Swamp Rat' is my father!" Raven growls.

"_I'm_ y'all's mother!" Rogue growls back.

"That's scary," Rahne whispers to Sam, who gulps and nods back.

Lightning clears his throat. "Um, the play?"

Rogue turns her death glare on him. "Fine! Ah'll get back ta y'all's _stupid, idiotic_ _play_!" She turns back to Pyro and loses the glare. She gets between him and the rails. "Curiosity." Remy can't help but notice how close Rogue's lips are to Pyro's. The cards start moving faster. Piotr switches to metal form and the squirrel army gets into formation. "Y'all're goin' ta want it. A chance ta be admired and gain the rewards that follow. Y'all won't be able ta resist." He turns his head toward her. "Y'all're gonna want ta know what it tastes like." Remy has to be restrained by Piotr at this point. Kitty holds the script in his face, the page that is missing from his copy. Actually, there are a lot of pages missing from his copy.

Pyro turns into Rogue. "I do want to know what it tastes like." He is thinking of Wanda, and there is hunger in his voice, which only serves to make Remy madder.

"But… seeing as y'all're a good man Ah know ya'd neveh put me in a position that'd compromise my honoh," she says, even as he lifts his hand to stroke her cheek.

Pyro starts to kiss her, but he looks at his hand. Pietro has replaced the black mark. He stares at it in horror and closes his fist. Their lips never touch.

Rogue has to pretend Johnny is Remy to make herself feel the disappointment that should be evident on her face. "Ah'm proud av ya, St. John."

"Land ho!" Logan shouts in the distance, happy to break up the scene.

Rogue runs off with the rest of the crew to look for the island. Pyro whines, "I want my jar of dirt." He goes off to find it.

The scene changes to a rowboat. Lance and Toad are rowing, naturally, while Johnny, Scott, and Rogue ride along. The jar of dirt is also there.

"You're pulling too fast," Lance complains.

"You're pulling too slow," Toad whines back. "We don't want the kraken to catch us, yo!"

"I'm saving me strength for when it comes," Lance snaps, "and I don't think it's 'kracken' anyways. I always heard it said 'krayken'."

Wanda groans. The Brotherhood has actually had this debate before. Toad glares at Lance. "What, with a long a?"

"Uh-huh."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 'Krocken' is how it's pronounced in the original Scandinavian, and 'kracken' is closer to that." Rogue and Scott give each other confused looks.

"Well, we ain't original Scadinavians, are we? 'Krayken'."

Toad insists, "It's a mythological creature. I can calls it what I wants."

They finally reach the shore. Pyro grabs a shovel. "Guard the boat. Mind the tide, blokes. Don't touch my dirt."

Lance and Toad watch him walk away. Scott ends up having to carry two shovels as he and Pyro follow Rogue. She is holding the compass. Suddenly, she starts walking in circles. Pyro and Scott wait patiently. Well, Pyro waits patiently. Scott stands around glaring very impatiently. However, he does manage to keep his mouth shut about it. Finally, Rogue sits down in between them and pouts as the compass stops in Pyro's direction again. "This doesn't work. And it certainly doesn't show ya what ya want most."

Pyro hurries to her side and takes a look at the spinning compass. "Yes, it does. You're sitting on it."

Rogue looks at him. "Beg pardon?"

"Move," Johnny orders, shooing her away with his hands. She stands up and gets out of the way. He whistles at Scott like he was a dog. Scott rolls his eyes, but starts digging anyway.

Back at the rowboat, Lance is grumbling about being ordered around while Todd balances a shovel on his hand. "'Guard the boat!' 'Mind the tide!" he mutters.

"I could join the circus!" Todd says. "No offense, Blob."

"None taken," he says.

"At least not by Fred," Raven groans.

Toad's greenish complexion looks very pale. He gulps. "Sorry."

Raven nods.

Lance decides to continue his rant. "Mind if I shine your shoes, sir?"

Meanwhile, the _Flying Dutchman_ has arrived. Apocalypse watches the antics of Avalanche and Toad with disgust. He brings the spyglass down. "They're here. And I cannot step foot on land again for near of a decade."

"You'll trust us to act in your stead?" Legion asks.

"I'll trust you to know what awaits you should you fail!" Apocalypse snaps at him. "Down, then!"

"Down!" repeats Lucid.

"Down!" repeats Facade.

"Down!" repeats Legion.

With careful use of Raven and Jean's telekinesis, so the cast doesn't drown, the ship sinks into the depths. Toad and Lance watch this happen. Their jaws drop open and Todd finally drops the shovel. They look at each other and take off screaming toward St. John and the others.

While Scott digs, Pyro is meditating peacefully in the "om" position. Rogue bites her finger nails. Scott hits something. A surprised look appears on their faces, and John and Rogue walk over to look. They all look into the hole and see a large chest. Working with their hands, they sweep the sand away until they can lift it out of the hole. Johnny breaks the locks with Scott's shovel and opens the chest. Inside are a lot of old love letters and dead roses, but underneath them is another chest. Gingerly, he lifts it out. It is intricately carved and, the lock appears complicated. They lean in. A thumping sound comes from the chest.

Shocked, Rogue states, "It's real."

Scott smiles at Johnny. "You actually were telling the truth."

"I do that quite a lot, yet people are always surprised," says Johnny. He sounds confused.

"With good reason!" a very angry Remy LeBeau says as he walks up behind them on the beach. His eyes are glowing fiercely, but Raven has removed his cards by force. Pyro looks very frightened, and longs for his flame-thrower. The squirrel army arms its weapons, just in case.

Rogue's eyes light up. "Remy! Y'all're alright! Thank God! Ah came to find ya!" She effectively stops him from murdering Pyro by throwing herself into his arms. He hugs her back. When they pull away, he kisses her passionately. She kisses him back. Scott looks disgusted and slightly jealous. They keep kissing a lot longer than it calls for in the script.

Lightning clears his throat. Raven looks at him, "What?"

"The play?"

Raven shrugs. She has that sappy look on her face, the one she wears when she sees her parents being affectionate. She points at them. "Let them have a little fun. It's not like she can touch without the power inhibitor we gave her, and it's really calming Gambit down."

"Well, that's always a good thing," Lightning agrees. "Very few things do."

"Tell me about it," Raven nods.

Ten minutes later, Remy and Rogue come up for air. Amara leans to Rob and whispers, "And she _still_ says they _aren't_ dating." Rob giggles.

Raven smiles at Remy and Rogue. "Okay, feeling better, Gambit?"

"Oui, Petite."

"Okay, then. On with the play," she says.

"How did you get here?" Pyro asks, trying to sound drunk.

Remy is still holding Rogue tightly. "Sea turtles, homme. A pair of t'em, strapped to Remy's feet."

Pyro grins. "Not so easy, is it?"

"But Remy do owe you t'anks, Johnny," he says. Rogue still has her arms wrapped around his neck.

"You do?" Pyro asks.

"After you tricked Remy onto t'at ship ta square your debt wit' Apocalypse…"

"What?" Rogue asks Johnny.

"What?" Johnny says in a perfect imitation of her.

"…Remy was reunited wit' his fat'er," he finishes. He also adjusts the arm he has around Rogue's waist to hold her closer.

"Oh, well… you're welcome, then," Johnny says.

Rogue pulls out of Remy's arms reluctantly. She marches towards Pyro angrily. Rogue does angry well. Pyro backs away. "Everythin' y'all said ta me, every word was a lie!"

"Pretty much. Time and tide, luv." Pyro shrugs at her. She wants to punch him. Remy ignores this exchange. He takes out the key, goes to the chest, and turns it around. "Oy, what're you doing?"

"Remy's gonna kill Apocalypse."

Pyro pulls out his sword and aims it at Remy's neck. "Can't let you do that, Remy. 'Cause if Apocalypse is dead, who's to call his terrible beastie off the hunt, eh? Now, if you please." Remy stands up and puts the key away. Pyro holds out his hand. "The key."

Remy acts like he is going to get the key back out, but he pulls Rogue's sword instead. He aims it at Pyro. "Remy keeps the promises he makes, St. John. He intend to free his père. Remy hope you're here ta see it."

Scott pulls out his sword and points it at Remy. "I can't let you do that, either. So sorry."

"I knew you'd warm up to me eventually," Pyro tells Scott, putting his sword down.

Scott points his sword at Pyro. Remy turns his on Scott. Pyro points his back on Remy. Scott says, "Lord Maximoff…" He starts coughing at having to call Pietro a lord. Pietro glares at him. Scott sticks out his tongue.

"Scott!" Jean says.

"He started it!" whines Scott.

"What kind of example are you setting for the New Mutants?" Jean rants. Annoyed by Jean's comment, all of the "New Mutants" stick out their tongues at the Brotherhood. The Brotherhood glare back. Wanda's hands start glowing an eerie blue. Pietro crosses his arms. The set rumbles as Lance's eyes roll back in his head. Toad's tongue flicks out, and he licks his lips menacingly. "Oh, great job, Cyke! Look what you did!"

Pyro steps between the scared New Mutants and the Brotherhood. "Look, blokes – and Wanda, luv – I know the little tykes were rude, but can you calm down? You're kinda ruining my scene, and I hate to bring it up, but... look behind you."

The Brotherhood members all turn around and look. Raven's eyes are glowing. She is floating three feet above her chair. Her clipboard is glowing. Lightning has disappeared, but his chair is spinning around her. They all start shaking, except for Wanda. Raven growls, "If some of you weren't essential to the rest of this scene, you'd all be dead."

They gulp and say together, "Sorry, Raven." Scott screams.

Lightning comes out from his hiding place. "Can we just all calm down and get back to work?"

"I don't know, can we?" Raven asks the cast. They all nod, even Scott. She decharges her clipboard, places Lightning's chair back, and sits down in her own. "Let's do that, then."

Scott gulps. "Lord Maximoff desires the content of that chest. I deliver it, I get my life back."

"Ah. The dark side of ambition," Pyro exclaims.

"Oh," Scott says, "I prefer to see it as the promise of redemption." He swings the cardboard sword. Rogue jumps out of the way. Pyro, Remy, and Scott start fighting earnestly with the swords. Pyro's cuts through Scott's. "Hey, that's not fair!"

"Okay, fine," Raven groans. "Give the baby a _real_ sword, Lawr."

Lightning complies, and the sword fight continues. The men start racing away from the chest. Pyro and Scott are both trying to get the key from Remy. Rogue chases after them. "Stop it!" she cries. Pyro manages to grab the key. Scott kicks Remy down. "Remy!" Rogue runs to him.

He looks up at her. "Guard t'e chest!" He gets up and takes off after Pyro. He is taking this fight very seriously. The squirrel army is getting nervous and chittering wildly directly off the stage.

"No!" she says stubbornly. She runs after him. "This is barbaric! This is no way fer grown men ta… Oh, fine! Let's just haul out our swords and start bangin' away at each otheh. That'll solve everythin'! Ah've had it! Ah've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked pirates!" Lance and Toad have just arrived and they stand still watching the scene in confusion. Rogue starts throwing rocks at the sword-fighters.

Lance turns to Toad. "How'd this go all screwy?"

"Well, each wants the chest for hisself, yo. Mr. Summers, I think, is trying to regain a bit of honor, old St. John's looking to trade it, save his own skin, then LeBeau, there, I think he's trying to settle some unresolved business 'twixt him and his twice-cursed pirate father." He burbs.

"Sad," Lance says.

"This is madness!" Rogue shouts.

Lance whispers, "That chest must be worth more than a shiny penny."

Toad clicks his tongue, "Oh, terrible temptation."

"If we was any kind of decent, we'd remove temptation from their path," Lance informs him.

Todd grins. The two of them sneak off.

Rogue gets tired of throwing rocks. "Enough!" She suddenly tries an old tactic. "Oh, oh! The heat!" She pretends to faint. The sword-fighting trio doesn't notice her act at all. She sits up, replaces her hat, and pouts. She then notices Lance and Toad running behind her with the chest. She gets up and chases after them.

"And cut!" Raven shouts. "Finally!"

Lightning grins. His eyes take on a mischievous sparkle. "I think that went rather well."

"Oh, you do? What play were you watching?" Raven growls.

"This one," he says. She knocks him through the wall again.

Amara leans over him as he gets up. "You realize you're in an abusive relationship, don't you?"

He grins, "Yup."

"That's not healthy, you know," she says.

"No, but it sure is fun," he replies. Raven hears his response and giggles. She's no longer angry.

The same cannot be said about Remy LeBeau. He is still swinging his sword at Pyro's head. Rogue is trying to stop him from killing him. The squirrels are trying to get between them. Pyro smirks, "I sure am glad you taught me how to do this!"

"Remy's in no mood for wisecracks, Johnny!" His sword barely misses him.

"Wanda, darling, sweetie, luv, a little help here?" he asks, dodging another swing.

"Nope," she growls.

"But, but, but, it was in the script!" Johnny whines.

"You didn't have to look so into it!" she yells as the sword is only blocked by a bullet from one of the squirrels.

"She looked like she was into it too!" Johnny points at Rogue.

"She also spent ten minutes makin' up for it," Remy growls. He then turns to smirk and wink at Rogue, who blushes wildly.

"I'm doomed!" Pyro says.

"Don't kill him, Papa!" Raven calls. "I still need him for the rest of the play!"

"No worries, Petite D'Ange. Remy just gonna rough him up a little!"

"Mommy!" Johnny calls.

Being reassured about the continuity of the play, Raven tells Lightning she thinks it's time to leave. So they leave, and so shall we…

* * *

To be continued. . .

* * *

**A/N: **(1) Does anyone else think, at the end of the series, Evan bore a strange resemblance to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? (I don't own the Turtles, either!)

Oh, look! An update that didn't take six months! Wow…

Next up, more sword fights. Lots and lots of sword fights. Plus, there's a giant wheel… and what happens to the chest?


	9. For the Love of Swordfights

**Disclaimer: Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. The part that says I own Raven, Rachel, Serena and Lightning is floating on a piece of driftwood.**

* * *

A/N: This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!

* * *

And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . .

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Scene 8: For the Love of Swordfights

Scott walks in wearing earphones that lead to an mp3 player. "I am a powerful leader who is not afraid of anything."

The cast looks at him funny.

"I am not afraid of heights."

They turn to Jean. She shrugs, but tells them, "The Professor thought that Scott would benefit with some self-help tapes." They all nod.

"I am not afraid of bunnies."

"Bunnies?" Logan asks.

"It's a generic tape. We modified the end to deal with his – specific issues," Charles declares, steepling his fingers.

"I am not afraid of clowns."

"Okay…" Logan shakes his head.

"I am not afraid of chickens."

"Well, that's good, since he lives with one," Sabretooth remarks.

Logan growls. Snikt go the claws. Sabretooth grins in anticipation. They start to attack but hear Scott say, "I am not afraid of teenage girls."

"Well, he should be," Raven says, stepping out of the shadows with Lightning. "Logan, Victor, that will be enough for now." Logan and Sabretooth both glare at her, but they stand down by remembering the shock collars.

"I am not afraid of synchronized sentences."

"You're not?" Raven and Lightning say as Lightning removes the earphones.

"Ahh!" Scott screams. "Okay, well the Prof said it would take some time!" He grabs the earphones and yanks them back.

"Get dressed," Raven says with her eyebrow raised. Scott glares back but does as he's told. As soon as he is in costume and in place, Raven calls out, "Lights, Camera, Action!" and the swordfights begin.

Scott catches up to Pyro. Their swords clash so hard that they both fall. The key falls to the ground. Remy grabs it and keeps running. Scott and Pyro get quickly to their own feet while Pyro exclaims, "Bugger!" They catch up and fight in a circling triangle. Pyro drops down and smacks Remy with the blunt side of the sword. He grabs the key while Remy's still in shock and runs off. Remy swings after him and then turns to block Scott's feeble attempts. Remy turns to run after Pyro.

Scott runs after him, grabs him by the shoulders, pulls him to the sand, and kicks sand into Remy's face. He looks down at Gambit and says politely, "By your leave, Mr. LeBeau." Then, he turns and rushes after Pyro.

About that time, at the edge of the beach, Apocalypse's crew slowly rises out of the depths. They make their way to the open chest that had once held the chest Lance and Toad have in their possession.

Pyro is running further in the island. There is plush vegetation all around. Scott is a few feet behind him. Remy is about twice the distance behind Scott. Pyro runs into an old abandoned mill. He climbs the stairs as quickly as possible. Scott reaches it shortly after him and begins his climb as well – a little faster. Pyro turns and blocks his sword. He kicks Scott, who falls a short distance down the flight and then gets up and starts up again. He falls trying to slash Pyro again, but manages to grab Johnny's ankle and knock him down. They fight on the landing. Scott grabs the key. Pyro attempts to grab it back, but Scott pushes him off the landing. Johnny grabs a rope that is attached to a large bell. Remy uses this to gain some ground. He grabs the rope as well and goes up, grabbing the key along the way. He reaches the top and jumps onto the landing, thanks to his mutant-enhanced agility. He turns and smiles at Scott. "By _your_ leave, Mr. Summers," he says. Scott responds by running up the stairs. Remy takes off.

The crew of the _Flying Dutchman_ reaches the chest and look inside. Worried, they look at each other. They hear the bell, and with angry snarls, they hurry toward the old mill.

Remy reaches the end of what was once an arch. He jumps to the other side, turning in time to block Scott's sword. Scott looks down nervously.

"Don't worry; Jean will keep you from falling," Lightning says.

"Why not Raven?" Bobby asks.

"Because _Raven_ doesn't care if he falls," is the answer. Raven grins evilly. Jean gulps, but makes sure to steady her boyfriend.

Scott jumps to the other side as they fight on the unsteady wall, heading to the corner. Johnny has finally reached the top of the stairs and climbs out, looking for them. He climbs across a heavy beam to meet them as they reach the roof of the mill part of the building, which is still relatively intact. He jumps onto the ridgepole and tries to join the fight, but finds the task rather difficult. Finally, Scott grasps the key and pulls it out of Remy's hand. He pulls it behind him and Johnny grabs it. Both men turn on Pyro, duck, and slash at him. Pyro's sword is knocked away and they hold their swords trained on his neck. Pyro holds his hands in a defensive manner. He can see by the glow in Remy's eyes that the Cajun is still upset about the scene with Pyro and Rogue. He gulps.

Scott is the one who turns to Remy and says harshly, "Do excuse me while I kill the man who ruined my life."

"Be Remy's guest," Remy says. He has no qualms with watching Pyro die at the moment.

"Let us examine that claim for a moment before commenting, shall we?" St. John says, grasping at anything to save his own skin. "Who was it, that at the very moment you had a notorious pirate safely behind bars, saw fit to free said pirate and take your dearly beloved all to hisself? Eh?" Scott looks a little confused. Jean looks annoyed by Pyro calling Rogue Scott's beloved. "So whose fault is it, really, that you've ended up a rum-pot deckhand what takes orders from pirates?"

"Enough!" shouts Scott, lunging at his victim. Pyro ducks, rolls a couple times, and flips gracefully down to the ground next to his sword. Well, it would have been graceful if he hadn't landed on his butt. Scott and Remy watch his decent. Scott, with script-induced anger soaking every word, says, "Unfortunately, Mr. LeBeau, he's right!" He turns on Remy with his sword. Remy, being the better sword fighter, blocks his moves.

Pyro stands up and grabs his sword. He still has the key. "Still rooting for you, mate!" he calls, sheathing the sword and taking off before they notice he still has the key. He hangs it on his neck and walks confidently, until he falls on his face down into a grave. "Oh! Oof!" He sits up and looks around. "Oh," he says with a frightened look on his face.

Remy and Scott's fight is rather intense. Remy is reminded of Scott proposing to Rogue during the first play. Scott is reminded of how his self-help tape has not helped his fear of synchronized sentences or of teenaged girls named Raven LeBeau. Remy jumps onto the waterwheel. Scott follows, breaking the wheel in the process. They both almost fall, but Raven keeps her father on the wheel, and Jean helps steady Scott. They continue to fight, walking against the wheel to stay on top.

The wheel breaks into the graveyard about the time Pyro is pulling himself out of the grave. He hears the noise without comprehension and it suddenly rolls over him. He is officially stuck in the wheel. He cries out in very real pain and fear. Since his arms are stuck and the key is over his neck, it naturally falls off as he is rolled upside down. Scott and Remy move out of the way of Pyro's legs with confusion written on their faces. They continue fighting, and the key rolls until it catches on a nail. The ground helps push Johnny out of the hole. He starts running like a gerbil in an exercise wheel with a huge grin on his face. That is until a large metal pole knocks him unconscious and he falls out of the wheel entirely.

Elsewhere in the forest, Lance and Toad are running with the chest between them. Toad is giggling like a schoolgirl. "We got it! We got it! We got it!" they chant. Scott shivers.

Panting, Rogue jumps out in front of them. They stop cold. She reaches for her sword, but finds it gone. Remy has Rogue's sword after all. She smiles nervously at them. They look at each other. Toad grins. The chest falls to the ground with a loud thump. Toad and Lance pull their swords. Lance rasps, "Hello, poppet." They advance while she retreats until they see the giant wheel rolling by with Remy fighting Scott on top and Johnny running after it. Lance and Toad look at each other and shrug. They advance on her again. This time they are stopped by a hatchet landing in a tree near Lance's head.

The hatchet belongs to Apocalypse's crew, who has just caught up to them. Rogue, Lance, and Toad seem to understand they are suddenly on the same team. Rogue backs up behind their swords. Lance and Toad hand the swords to her and go back for the chest. She chases after them. "Come on, run!" Lance calls.

Growling, snarling, and basically making inhuman angry noises, the crew of the _Flying Dutchman_ chases them.

Rogue screams. She's not the only one, however. Toad and Lance are doing a pretty good job of screaming as well. They aren't looking where they're going and run on either side of a coconut tree. The chest falls to the ground. They keep running. Rogue runs around the tree, still screaming. That's when they stop and notice the chest is missing. They turn to find Evan reaching the chest with sword drawn. Rogue blocks his sword with the two she's still holding.

Johnny is still running after the giant wheel. He catches up to it, looks in to see the key is still caught on the hook, and jumps inside. Once again, he runs like a hamster in an exercise wheel, only paying more attention to the big poles in the middle. Scott and Remy are still fighting on top. Remy dodges Scott's attempt to cut off his head, but trips and falls flat on his stomach. There he sees Pyro running inside the wheel and the key hanging in front of Remy's face. He swings to the inside of the wheel, grabs the key, and turns to block Pyro's sword. Scott follows his lead and joins them inside the wheel. They are all fighting inside the giant wheel now.

Back with the chest, things have changed a little. Toad has a sword. Toad is running when a chain knocks him to his feet.

"Sword!" Rogue calls.

"Sword!" Toad says and throws his to her.

"Sword!" Lance calls. Rogue tosses the extra sword to Lance. They are all fighting desperately. Rogue twirls and manages to knock back a crewman.

"Sword!" Toad shouts. She tosses the sword to him, and he uses it to cut into another crewman.

No one notices a figure approaching the chest. Bobby, his face wrapped in an ice shell, picks it up and looks around. He starts to wander off.

Back at the wheel, Johnny grabs the key and pulls it off the string. Remy looks at the empty string strangely. Then, he focuses on striking out at Johnny. St. John was grinning at the key, but manages to block the attack sufficiently. "You know, I was thinking about Wanda during the last scene – not Rogue," he whispers.

"Too little, too late," Remy growls back under his breath.

Johnny thinks he's going to cry, but holds back. Instead, he swings around to the top of the wheel and grabs a tree branch. The other two are left screaming as the wheel continues on. Johnny falls out of the tree and lands on his feet next to a few coconuts he knocked down on the way. He brushes himself off and puts up his sword. That's when he sees Bobby running and giggling with the chest. St. John looks at him with mild amusement and great annoyance. Then, he picks up a coconut, bouncing it to make sure it's the plastic one, and throws it at Bobby's head. He has good aim. "Ugh!" The chest falls to the ground.

Pietro quickly grabs Bobby and replaces him with an IAR Bobby body and an IAR Bobby head. The IAR Bobby head turns around in the ice shell and calls to the IAR Bobby body. The real Bobby is off-screen and talking into a microphone. "Follow my voice. Follow my voice. To the left… no, turn around." The IAR Bobby body is wandering around turning in random circles. "Go to the right."

Johnny takes the opportunity to go up to the chest and fit the key inside.

The IAR Bobby body walks into a tree and falls to the ground. Bobby says, "No, that's a tree," into the microphone.

"Oh, shut it," Pyro calls to the IAR Bobby head as the key turns in the lock. Cogs turn, levers move, posts unlock, the strange, sad lullaby plays, and the chest slowly opens. Inside is what looks like a beating, very human heart. It's actually an IAR heart, and it's very fragile. Pyro gingerly reaches in to touch it. It blows up.

"FORGE!" Raven shouts.

"Another heart coming up!" He tosses one to Pyro. Pyro flinches as the heart reaches him. This one blows up too.

Raven's eyes are glowing. "Forge," she says much more calmly. Lightning gulps.

"I have a whole pile of them." He shows her another.

"How about we don't toss this one, hmm?" Raven says. Her eyes are still glowing brightly.

Forge suddenly realizes why Lightning looks frightened. "Um, sure, chick. I'll just walk this over and put it in St. John's hand." Raven glares at Forge. Lightning doesn't look frightened anymore. He looks angry. Little sparks of electricity surround his fist. "Uh, what'd I say, man?"

Jean clears her throat. "Um, Forge, it's not okay to call a girl a 'chick' anymore."

"It's not?" Forge asks.

"No," Lightning and Raven say together. Scott screams.

"Um, sorry… Raven, Lightning," he says. "I was trapped in that world for so long. I'm just not digging all the new slang yet…"

"Fine… Lightning, calm down," Raven says, still glaring at Forge. "Pyro…"

Pyro holds the IAR heart in his hand and looks at it. He is very scared it will blow up, but it doesn't. He looks over to see the crew of the _Flying Dutchman_ running toward him. So he stuffs the heart in his shirt, closes the chest, and runs away.

Just ahead of the crew, Rogue, Toad, and Avalanche run quickly. They are still playing hot potato with the swords. Rogue turns and blocks an axe. She pushes the crewman away and turns to run, but stabs the swords behind her; effectively slowing a couple more crewmen down. Lance and Todd grab the chest and run. Rogue follows them. The crew is close on their heels.

At the beach, Pyro runs to the lifeboat. He looks around. "Jar of dirt!" He finds it and picks it up. After he opens it and dumps some dirt out, he shoves the IAR heart into the jar and grabs a few handfuls of dirt to cover it up. He closes it just about the time Evan nearly hits him with his foil-lined, cardboard sword. Johnny drops the jar of dirt into the lifeboat and turns to fight Evan off. He succeeds with knocking Evan onto his back rather quickly, with just an oar. Rogue and the others reach the beach at that time. Rogue fights them off with the swords. Lance uses the chest itself.

Remy and Scott are holding on for dear life to the wheel, which is spinning very fast now. They are both screaming in a manly way, which is odd for Scott, as it rolls out of the forest and onto the beach.

Rogue stops fighting for dear life as three of her attackers are squashed by the wheel. The other stares after it too. It keeps rolling right on toward the sea and falls on its side. She has to start fighting again.

Fortunately for Remy and Scott, the wheel fell into shallow water. They are both drenched and trembling as they slowly climb out of the wheel. Naturally, Remy climbs out faster than Scott. He also lands on his feet, while Scott falls into the water again. Remy surveys the fight scene in front of him and sees Rogue fighting with all she has. "Right," he says and starts heading towards her. He's so dizzy that he trips immediately. Scott tries to walk but stumbles as well. Remy tries to stand up but falls again.

Scott recovers and manages to run to the lifeboat. He digs in Pyro's coat and finds the pardon. He holds it like a precious gem. Then he notices the dirt on the seat. He stares at it strangely and then at the jar of dirt on the boat's floor. He glances over to Pyro, but Pyro is busy beating the living daylights out of Evan. Lance and Toad have successfully beaten a crewman to the ground. They run to the boat with the chest. They toss it onto the seat and start pushing the boat off. "We've got it!" Lance trills.

Suddenly, they stop as Remy stands at the other end of the boat, holding his sword, well, Rogue's sword, at them. They both reach for their swords, but realize Rogue has them. Remy laughs. Lance and Toad laugh too. Then they reach in the boat. Toad grabs an oar. Lance grabs a net and yells, "Come on, LeBeau!"

But Remy notices the chest has the key inside it. He frowns and moves towards it while Lance and Toad are distracted by someone yelling. Rogue is still fighting her way to the boat. Scott is now fighting beside her. Pyro looks over at the boat to see Remy holding the chest forlornly. His face fills with worry but not for long. He has to turn back to beat off Evan again. He does manage to smack Remy over the back of the head with the oar, knocking him out. Well, technically, the oar never hit Remy's head. He pretended to pass out because there is no way on earth Raven would let her father get hurt. He "falls" into the boat. Rogue runs to him; her heart pounding with fear.

Pyro orders, "Leave him lie! Unless you plan on using him to hit something with." They are completely surrounded.

"We're not getting out of this," laments Rogue.

"Not with the chest," Scott corrects. "Into the boat." He reaches in and grabs the chest.

"You're mad!" Rogue exclaims.

"Don't wait for me," Scott insists. He runs away from the boat, towards the island, slashing and making it known he's carrying the chest.

"I say we respect his final wish," Pyro declares.

"Aye!" Lance agrees. They all turn to get in the lifeboat.

Scott runs through the forest until he trips. He crawls to the chest. The crew of the _Flying Dutchman_ appears behind him. He grabs his sword hilt, but a foot lands on it. He hears chuckling and looks up. The IAR Bobby body is holding the IAR Bobby head. The real Bobby states in the microphone, "Your bravery is wasted." Scott stands up, holding the chest. "I shall pry the chest away from your cold, dead hands."

Scott looks around. He says, "Here you go!" and tosses the chest into the IAR Bobby body's hands. Naturally, the IAR Bobby body drops the IAR Bobby head.

Scott runs away, but the crew doesn't chase him this time. They stand around laughing. Then they turn to go back to the ship, treasure in hand. The IAR Bobby body goes with them. The IAR Bobby head is left behind. He tries calling to them, but they ignore him. He mutters, "Pirates!" Suddenly, the face on the IAR Bobby head turns around and a crab-like creature emerges from the ice shell. It follows the crew.

Remy wakes up on the _Black Pearl_ and looks up into Rogue's sad face. They both feign smiles. "What happened to t'e chest?" he asks.

"Summers took it ta draw them off," Rogue answers.

"You're pulling too hard!" Lance yells.

"You ain't pulling hard enough, yo!" Todd yells back. The two of them are trying to secure the life boat onto the ship.

Logan hurries to Pyro, who is latched onto his jar of dirt. "Where's the commodore?"

"Fell behind," is all Pyro will say about Scott's disappearance.

Logan stands still, "My prayers be with him." Then he suddenly cheers up and follows Johnny, "Best not wallow in our grief. The bright side is you're back, and made it off free and clear, bub." That is precisely the point when the _Flying Dutchman_ comes shooting out of the ocean beside them. The crew of the _Black Pearl_ gasps in unison. Scott shivers, but manages not to scream by holding his tape recorder. Logan crosses himself. "Lord on high, deliver us."

Pyro grins. He places a hand in front of Logan to back him up. "I'll handle this, mate." He glances nervously at Raven. "Do I really have to do this?"

"Yes," she nods.

"But he's _Apocalypse_, and he'll kill me," whimpers Pyro.

"He won't kill you," Raven assures him.

"How can you be so sure, sheila?"

"We have an understanding. Don't we, Nur?" She turns to the ancient Pharaoh.

En Sabah Nur simply nods.

"See," Raven insists, "he won't kill you."

"Fine," grumbles Johnny. He holds the jar of dirt over his head, "Oi, fishface!"

Apocalypse's face turns bright red. The cast and crew tremble in very real terror. Raven holds up the script with her powers. Apocalypse growls, but calms down and nods.

"Lose something? Eh? Scungilli!" Pyro scratches his head – almost losing the jar in the process.

Raven sighs. "It's the meat of a conch – a sea snail."

"Ooooh," he says, nodding. That's when Pyro trips down the stairs and falls head over heels. Wanda winces.

The crew says, "ooo." Scott whimpers.

Pyro holds up the unbroken jar, "Got it!" He stands up, "Come to negotiate, eh, have you, you slimy git? Look what I got." Then, Pyro does something very Pyro-like; he starts to sing. "I got a jar of dirt. I got a jar of dirt. And guess what's inside it." He holds it up higher. Rogue and Remy look at each other as if they both think Pyro has finally lost whatever bit of his mind he still had.

Nur stops watching him and turns quickly away. "Enough!" The cannons come out. Lance and Toad back up.

Pyro whispers, "Hard to starboard."

"Hard ta starboard!" Rogue yells.

"Brace up t'e foreyard!" Remy shouts.

As they turn the ship, Apocalypse growls angrily, "Hard to starboard! Send his beloved _Pearl_ back to the depths." They fire on the _Pearl_. A connon ball rips through Johnny's office. Lance and Toad peer inside the destroyed chamber. They see the other ship through the hole.

"She's on us!" Lance shouts. "She's on us!"

"Let them taste the triple guns," Apocalypse says.

"Aye, Captain," Lucid replies.

The triple guns are in the front of the ship, and they are fast.

Logan ducks as a cannonball hits nearby. A random crewmember falls off screaming. Johnny takes the wheel from Logan and starts weaving the ship through the cannon fire, still holding the jar of dirt tightly.

Remy pulls on some ropes and then hands them off to another pirate. "Make fast!"

Lance goes to the ship and starts talking to it, "Go on, me darling! Show us what you've got!" He'd feel stupid doing this if he didn't secretly talk to his jeep on a regular basis.

"Come on, girl!" Logan screams.

"She's fallin' behind!" Rogue announces.

"Aye. We've got her!" Logan grins.

"We're t'e faster?" Remy asks.

"Against the wind, the _Dutchman_ beats us," Logan informs him. "That's how she takes her prey. But with the wind…"

"We rob her advantage," Remy says, while Rogue smiles.

"Aye," Logan answers. He and Rogue take off.

Back on the other ship, Spike calls out, "We're out of range!"

"Break off pursuit, run her light and douse canvas!" Apocalypse cries out.

"We're giving up, sir?" Legion asks.

Apocalypse answers with a smile. Legion grins evilly beside him.

Spike has a whip. He whips the crewmembers as they turn the wheel that wakes the Kraken.

From the rigging of the _Black Pearl_, Dorian calls out, "They're giving up!" The crew cheers. Scott cries. Lance and Toad dance around with each other. Pietro laughs and makes a point to tease them later about being gay.

Remy walks up to Johnny. "My père is on t'at ship. If we can outrun her, we can take her. We should turn and fight."

Johnny turns to him, smiling. "Why fight when you can negotiate? All one needs is the proper leverage." He sets the jar down. The ship rocks and the jar falls, breaking against the deck.

Johnny whimpers and races down to the deck. He digs through the dirt frantically. "Where is it? Where is the thump-thump?"

A Random Pirate Extra cries out, "We must have hit a reef!"

But Remy has seen this before, "Non, it's not a reef! Get away from t'e rail!" He grabs Rogue and pulls her to him.

"What is it?" she says, trying to ignore the comforting feeling she gets from being in his arms.

"The kraken," he replies. "To arms!"

"Load guns! Defend the mast!" Logan shouts, following Remy.

"It'll attack t'e starboard; Remy's seen it before. Run out t'e cannons and hold for Remy's signal," he says and draws a sword.

The crew scrambles to follow his orders while the IAR Kraken wraps it's tentacles around the ship. The cannon crew, which includes Lance and Toad, start freaking out as the giant tentacles latch onto the ends of the cannons.

Remy drops into the room and shouts, "Easy, boys!"

On deck, Rogue holds a spear, but starts backing up as the top of a tentacle reaches the deck. "Rems?"

"Steady! Steady!" he shouts.

"Rems?" she calls again.

"Hold! Hold!" he cries out.

"I think we've held fire long enough," argues Lance. Pyro grins at the mention of fire.

"Remy!" Rogue shouts desperately.

"Fire!" he yells.

They light the cannons, blasting holes into Forge's masterpiece. Forge cries as he watches the tentacles crash into the deck, burning. The IAR Kraken sinks down into the depths. The crew cheers.

"And cut!" Raven shouts. "Forge start fixing the kraken at once."

Lightning surveys the damaged set. "We should probably get Pietro to start cleaning this mess up and getting it ready for the last scene."

Raven nods, "Where is Pietro? He was just here a bit ago." They here laughter and look in the direction. Pietro is staring into a laptop. "Pietro, what are you doing?"

He looks up, "Oh, someoneleekedpictures ofthecast ontodeviantart. Ifoundthem." He frowns. "There'snone ofme. They'vegotGambit, Rogue, Pyro, Apocalypse, andmysister…" he grumbles. "Whywouldn'tsomeone wanttopost picturesofme? I'mthestar oftheentire show! Imean, withoutmycharacter's interference, there'dbeNOmovie. ButNO! Idon'tgetapicture!"

Wanda grabs the laptop. "Where did these come from?"

"Who knows," Pyro says, "but look at me in my costume! I look good! And… wow, Wanda… you look amazing in that picture!"

Wanda blushes. "Aww, thanks, Johnny."

Remy grabs the laptop. His eyes bug out when he looks at Rogue's picture. "Whoever took these does good work! Remy didn't t'ink it was possible to my ma chere look even better t'an she normally do."

Rogue giggles. "Y'all don't look have bad yourself, Cajun."

Apocalypse comes near, "Can I see that?"

They hand him the laptop, "Ah, yes, I do look rather imperial, don't I?"

"Yes, my lord," Mesmero agrees.

Raven and Lightning roll their eyes. "Well, it could be worse…"

Raven nods. "Yes, Lawr, they could be causing utter chaos."

"I THINK I DESERVE A PICTURE!" Pietro screams.

"Stop being a baby!" Wanda shouts back!

"Let's go," Lightning whines. And they do, and so shall we.

* * *

To be continued. . .

* * *

**A/N: **Yes, some lovely person, *cough*MelodiousNocturne*cough, has posted fan art of this fic on deviant art! I am so excited to see the X-men in their costumes! She did a fantastic job and I think you should all go look at it. And MelodiousNocturne, please do not kill me! I have had a crazy schedule lately! I'll write back as soon as I can!

Rogue: 0melodious-nocturne0 dot deviantart dot com/art/Pirate-Rogue-196498511

Remy : 0melodious-nocturne0 dot deviantart dot com/art/Pirate-Remy-196500544

Pyro: 0melodious-nocturne0 dot deviantart dot com/art/Pirate-St-John-196501162

Wanda: 0melodious-nocturne0 dot deviantart dot com/art/Pirate-Wanda-196499461

Apocalypse: 0melodious-nocturne0 dot deviantart dot com/art/Pirate-Apocalypse-196501909

To "Person who loves this fic," you are the only reason this is being posted tonight. Your reviews have made my day many, many times. I am sorry I do not have a lot of time to write anymore. I will finish my stories, but slowly, ever so slowly. Raven and Lightning's powers will be revealed in a future story, so I can't tell you. You can guess what you can from the parodies, for now.

Next up, the kraken, Remy loses it… oh, and the ending. Yeah!


	10. Happily Ever After

**Disclaimer: Davy Jones sailed away with the part that says Marvel own the characters from X-Men: Evolution, and any other Marvel characters. The part that says I own Raven, Rachel, Serena, Lightning, and the DPD is floating on a piece of driftwood.**

* * *

A/N: This story is dedicated to everyone who ever asked me if I planned on doing the sequels! Which is way too many to mention here!

WARNING: This is _the scene_… beware.

* * *

And now without further ado, Raven and Lightning present. . .

Mutants of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest.

Scene 9: Happily Ever After… Sort of…

Scott paces in front of the cast members. "It's come to my attention that a few of you think my self-help tapes are just about my personal issues. I am here to explain that is not the case."

The blank stares coming from the cast prompt Jean to try and help. "What Scott means is: he is not afraid of bunnies, heights, clowns, or chickens."

"Thank you, Jean," Scott says.

Jubilee raises her hand, "So, that means he _is_ afraid of teenage girls, right?"

The teenaged girls, minus Jean, start giggling.

"_No_! I'm just afraid of _Raven_!" he whines.

"As well you should be," Lightning says, suddenly appearing behind him. "Take it from me. I have a healthy fear of her myself."

Raven glares at her fiancé. "Right…"

"What? You can be a little scary sometimes," he says nonchalantly.

"A _little_ scary? That's like telling me the Eiffel Tower is a little sculpture…" Raven snaps.

Evan groans. "Great… She's already in a bad mood…" He holds up a box of pizza. "Um, Raven, I hide this from Fred for you!"

She raises her eyebrow at Evan. "Suck up," she says, but takes the box after reading his mind to make sure he didn't poison or spit in it. Lightning grabs the first slice. "Lawr!" she whines.

"What? I'm hungry – and a little cayenne peppered out," he says with his mouth full.

She glares at him and covers the rest of the small pizza in her favorite spice. "You're _always_ hungry!"

"I have a _high metabolism_!" he whines.

"So much for Ev's peace offering," Kitty sighs as she watches the directors fight.

"Yeah, but have ya eveh noticed that they're always in a betteh mood afteh they fight?" Rogue comments.

"Kind of like you and Gambit," Kitty grins at her.

Rogue glares at her.

The fight ends with most of the pizza being stuffed down Lightning's throat by Raven's powers and Lightning drinking a ten gallon container of Kool-Aid. (1) Raven smugly watches while she eats the last slice. "Happy now?" she asks.

He coughs. "Yeah… but that burnt! You really put that much on normally?"

She nods. "I just don't normally make _you_ eat it."

"Thank you!"

She grins, "Let's get this show started. Lights! Camera! Action!" The squirrels stand to attention, making Gambit nervous.

Gambit and Rogue are standing on the deck. He looks at the water and turns to her. "It'll be back. We've got to get off t'e ship."

"There's no boats," Rogue informs him.

They look at the wrecked life boats forlornly. A keg of powder rolls across the deck, sparking the flame of an idea in Remy's brain. He walks towards the crew. "Pull t'e grates. Get all t'e gunpowder onto t'e net in t'e cargo hold!" Rogue follows him. He grabs a gun from a Random Pirate Extra and hands it to her. "Whatever you do, don't miss."

"As soon as you're cleah," she answers. Their eyes are locked together for a moment. In that moment, they both seem to forget about the play. Then, just as suddenly, they both turn around and go their separate ways.

The crew works hard following Gambit's orders, but they run into a problem. A Random Pirate Extra calls up, "we're short-stocked on gunpowder! Six barrels!"

"Hurry up!" another Random Pirate Extra calls as Logan goes to find Remy.

He meets Remy as the Cajun comes down the stairs. "There's only half a dozen kegs of powder, bub!"

"T'en load t'e rum," Remy suggests.

The crew stops working and stares at Logan. He sighs, "aye, the rum, too!" Logan's face looks very pained, however. The crew starts working again among rather loud complaints. They load the barrels marked rum that are actually filled with tea.

"If I ask a legitimate question, will I get hurt?" Bobby tries.

"It depends on the question," Raven answers truthfully.

"Um… well, tea doesn't explode the way rum does… so…"

"No, but charged barrels do," she remarks.

"Oooh," the cast says.

"Why? Why must you all torment me so?" Scott shouts.

"Because it's fun?" Raven and Lightning answer.

"Ahhh!" he screams and huddles into a ball.

"Can we get back to the play now?" Raven says cheerfully. She loves to torment Scott.

Something swims beneath the waves towards the _Black Pearl_, but it is not Pyro. Pyro happens to be on the other side of the ship in the very last life boat. He is swiftly rowing away.

Rogue grabs a piece of wood and hands it to a Random Pirate Extra. "Step ta!" She looks up and notices Pyro's boat. "Oh, ya coward," she vehemently says under her breath. Her attention is diverted when the IAR Kraken reaches the ship because is causes the ship to shake violently.

Leech looks at Piotr and declares, "Not good!" They are both hanging onto the railing.

The fixed IAR Kraken thrusts its tentacles into the cannon holes – knocking the crew around and generally making a mess of the ship. It grabs a Random Pirate Extra and knocks him about.

"Haul away!" screams Remy.

"Heave!" Logan shouts. "Heave like you're being paid for it!"

"That'dbenice," Pietro declares. Everyone looks at him. "I'mjustsaying. We'realwaysdragged outhereto dotheseplays, andIhaven't seenadime…"

Everyone looks at Raven and Lightning. Raven rolls her eyes. "The contracts say you agree to do the plays for free."

"Iwantnewcontracts!" Pietro whines.

"I want you to shut up before you tick my girlfriend off," Lightning snaps.

"Sheesh, someone's in a bad mood," Toad says.

ZAP

"Ouch, yo! That hurt!" Toad whines, rubbing the sore spot where Lightning's lightning bolt zapped him.

Raven raises an eyebrow at Lightning.

"What?" he asks.

"You are in a bad mood," she says.

"I was just thinking about the rest of the play and how bad of a mood you're going to be after _that_ scene," he mutters.

She rolls her eyes. "Okay, anyone _else _wish to either complain about your contracts or Lawr's mood? _**No**_? Okay, back to work!"

Leech is riding on a giant wheel that resembles the kind that wakes the IAR Kraken. "Put your backs into it!"

Remy rides the giant net up. Toad and Lance press themselves against the wall, trying to hide from the ever twisting tentacles.

Johnny sits in his life boat. He watches the monster destroy his beloved ship. He looks at the island that is so close. He reaches for his compass and opens it. He does not look happy.

Back on the _Pearl_, Wolverine hangs onto a Random Pirate Extra who is caught in a tentacle. "I got ya! I got ya!"

"Don't let me go!" the RPE insists.

"I won't let ya go!" he says back, but his hands slip and the RPE is pulled out of his grasp.

"Shoot me!" he screams, but no one does.

Rogue looks up from loading the gun to see Remy riding the net. "Cleah?" she calls.

"Higher! Higher!" Gambit insists.

A tentacle wraps around the mast and crashes into the wheel. Fortunately, Forge has good timing, and the crew is able to move out of the way first. The net starts to fall, but catches on something. Lance and Toad climb out from beneath the deck. Lance is carrying an axe, but immediately hands it to Toad, against his better judgment. Luckily for everyone, the axe is another foil-lined cardboard one.

"Here! Come on!" Remy calls from the net. "Come and get Remy! He's over here! Come on!" He flails his arms around, trying to get the IAR Kraken's attention. It finally grabs the net, but his boot gets caught. He drops his sword. He pulls out his dagger and starts cutting the rope. Rogue aims the gun, but waits. "Shoot! Anna, shoot!"

She can't bring herself to shoot the barrels while he's still attached, even though the gun is full of blanks. Her waiting has a price. A tentacle grabs her ankle and pulls her back. She drops the gun and screams. Toad chops the tentacle off, saving her life. Well, technically, the tentacle has a built in system than makes it look like it was chopped off. That was Raven's idea, naturally. Rogue keeps screaming as she kicks her leg from its writhing grasp. She stands up and looks for the gun. She's not the first to reach it. A Random Pirate Extra grabs it and aims, but another tentacle grabs him and he drops the gun. She tries to climb the stairs to get the gun. Just as she reaches it, a boot stomps on it. She tries to pull it, but can't. She looks up. The boot belongs to Pyro. He looks so brilliant amid the chaos of the scene that Wanda's heart flutters and she sighs without meaning to.

St. John leans down and grabs the gun. He aims and fires the instant Remy is clear. Remy has charged the barrels and as a bullet zooms towards them in slow motion (obviously with the use of Raven's powers), they explode. The IAR Kraken screams and falls slowly back into the depths. Forge is in tears again.

Logan gets up and looks around. Leech comes out of his hiding place. Piotr and the IAR Parrot stand up. Logan and Leech walk to the railing. "Did we kill it?"

"No," Logan answers. "We just made it angry." He pushes away from the railing. "We're not out of this yet. Captain, orders!"

Pyro walks down the stairs. "Abandon ship. Into the longboat." He hands the gun to Logan.

Wolverine follows him. "St. John. The _Pearl_."

Sadly, Johnny replies, "she's only a ship, mate."

Rogue has heard their conversation. "He's right. We have ta head fer land."

"It's a lot of open water," Lance says.

"It's a lot of water," echoes Todd.

"We have to try," Remy declares. "We can get away as it takes down the _Pearl_."

Solemnly, Logan nods. "Abandon ship. Abandon ship or abandon hope."

The men start to work. Pyro takes a last longing look at the ship. Rogue eyes him with a mysterious look in her eyes.

"Ah can't do this," she whines.

"You kinda have to," Lightning says.

"But why?" Rogue whines.

"Because it's in the script," Raven insists. "Look, Rogue, you're not the only one who isn't looking forward to this part. Just do it and get it over with. Jean is going to help me secure Gambit. Apocalypse and Cain are going to handle Wanda. The squirrels have Pyro covered." She nods at the army of squirrels. The leader salutes. "Just get it over with. I'm sure Pyro doesn't want to do this part either, but it has to happen."

"You got that right, sheila. No offense, Rogue, but I've got my heart set on a different girl." He winks at Wanda.

Wanda groans. Apocalypse is holding one arm. The Juggernaut is holding the other.

"Remy don't understand," Gambit says.

"You don't want to," Lightning and Raven say. Scott screams again.

Rogue sighs in defeat and walks over to Pyro. "Thank you, Johnny."

With despair in his voice, he turns to look at her. "We're not free yet, love."

"Ya came back," she says. She smiles against her will. "Ah always knew ya were a good man." Begrudgingly, she takes a couple steps toward Pyro.

Remy's eyes narrow. He's suddenly not sure he likes where this scene is going.

Rogue and Pyro look in each other's eyes. She suddenly gulps and decides to get it over with. She leans in and kisses Pyro. Pyro kisses her back, also against his will.

Remy is on the rope helping to load the longboat but happens to see this. He wants to move. He wants to scream and shout and blow something up. Fortunately for the cast, Jean and Raven are holding him very still. Wanda's eyes are screaming murder, and her hands are glowing blue, but Apocalypse decides to knock her out with his powers. It was probably a good move.

Logan, who wants to tear Pyro apart right now, steps into Remy's view. "Prepare to cast off. There's no time to lose." The shock collar is the only thing keeping Logan in line at the moment. He growls under his breath. "Come on, Remy. Step to!" Slowly, ever so slowly, Remy feels his body moving down the ladder. He does not know how it is moving. The girls are very good with their powers. Logan climbs in after him.

Rogue's kiss pushes Pyro against the part of the ship where the life lines get tied up. She reaches down, and he hears the clinking of chains. He looks at her with both wonder and admiration. "It's afteh you, not the ship," she tells him. "It's not us. This is the only way, don't ya see?" She closes her eyes. "Ah'm not sorry."

He grins. "Pirate."

She walks away, leaving him chained to the ship. She climbs into the life boat.

Remy hears the words, "where's Johnny?" coming out of his mouth, but he's unsure how because he has forgotten everything except the desire to murder Pyro.

Rogue looks him in the eye and immediately feels about an inch tall. "He elected ta stay behind ta give us a chance." She mouths, "Ah'm sorry! It was in the script!"

Remy glares.

Everyone else looks up to the ship. Rogue can't look into Remy's broken face anymore. She turns toward Leech. "Go!"

They push off.

Pyro starts pulling against the chains and trying to get free while muttering, "bugger" over and over. He notices a broken lantern and uses his sword to grab it. He smashes it against the mast and pours the oil over his wrist. "Come on!" he shouts as he pulls against the chain one more time. The oil was a good idea. His hand starts to come out. "Just got it. Come on." Tentacles rise behind his back. He pulls his hand free and grins.

Wanda starts to wake up. She sees the IAR Kraken behind Johnny. She screams.

Raven whimpers. Lightning places a hand on her shoulder. "That's why there's an editing room, Rave."

She nods, still pouting.

Pyro notices that something is not right. He looks over his shoulder. The IAR Kraken roars – showing off its many teeth. It also covers Pyro in slime, thanks to Toad. His hat falls in front of his feet, also covered in Toad's slime. Pyro shivers and wipes the slime away from his mouth. "Not so bad," he lies. "Oh," he says, reaching down to grab his hat. He shakes it off and places it on his head. "Hello, beastie." Pulling out his sword, he runs toward the IAR Kraken and tries to stab it as its mouth closes around him. Wanda faints.

Everyone else watches as the IAR Kraken pulls the ship into the sea. This includes En Sabah Nur, who is watching through a looking glass. "St. John Allerdyce, our debt is settled." He closes the telescope.

Facade says, "the captain goes down with his ship."

Legion speaks up, "turns out not even St. John Allerdyce can best the devil."

"Open the chest," Apocalypse says suddenly. Nobody moves. "Open the chest! I need to see it!"

The chest is opened and he makes his way over to it. He lifts the lid. The chest is empty. "Damn you, St. John Allerdyce!" he shouts. Remy looks like he agrees.

The scene changes, and Pietro sits at Xavier's desk, glaring at the world because he's still upset. He is upset because he does not get any money or a picture on the Internet.

"The last of our ships has returned," Trask declares.

"Isthere anynews onthechest," mutters Pietro.

"None. But one of the ships did pick up a man adrift at sea." He holds up the pardon. "He had these."

Pietro takes it and opens it.

"I took the liberty of filling in my name," Scott states. Warren stands next to him, holding his elbow.

Pietro motions for Scott to come closer. Warren leaves. "Ifyou intendto claimthese, thenyoumust havesomething totrade. Doyouhave thecompass?"

Scott shakes his head. "Better." He drops a wet-looking sack on Pietro's desk. The sack moves. "The heart of Apocalypse."

Another scene change, and there are women everywhere holding candles in a river as the life boat floats by. Agatha Harkness holds a candle. Destiny holds a candle. X23 holds a candle. Amanda's mother holds a candle. Evan's mother holds a candle. Gabrielle Haller holds a candle. Jean's mother holds a candle. Jean's little sister holds a candle. Dorian's mother holds a candle. Callisto holds a candle. Cybelle holds a candle. Dr. Risman holds a candle. Viper holds a candle. Kitty's mother holds a candle.

Inside the cabin, Remy throws a knife at the table, pulls it out, and throws it again. He keeps imagining that the board is Pyro's head. He looks heartbroken.

Storm walks around with a tray of mugs filled with unsweetened tea. She offers one to Rogue, who turns away. "Against the cold… and the sorrow." Rogue takes a mug, but doesn't drink it. Storm moves on to Remy. "It's a shame. I know you're thinking that with the _Pearl_ you could have captured the devil and set free your father's soul." Remy takes a mug. Storm moves on.

"Doesn't matter now," Remy's forlorn voice says. In fact, he feels like nothing matters now… except maybe killing Pyro. "The _Pearl_ is gone, along with its captain." He has no idea where Pyro actually is. The IAR Kraken took him with it under the water. It has not resurfaced. What Remy does not know is the IAR Kraken is also a submarine, and Pyro is currently taking a nice shower to remove the slime.

"Aye," Logan says, "and already the world seems a bit less bright. Probably because he ain't starting a fire." Logan suddenly drops on the floor and starts twitching.

"Raven!" Lightning whines.

"What? He knows I don't like adlibbing! And I am using most of my concentration trying to keep my father from blowing the set up!"

Lightning smacks his head into his hand. "Can you at least stop pressing the button now?"

"I guess," she sighs and lets go.

Logan twitches a few more times before standing up with a, "s..so..sorry, R..Raven…"

"Apology accepted; get on with the play!" she shouts.

"He fooled us all right till the end," Logan declares, "but I guess that honest streak finally won out."

Rogue looks very uncomfortable.

Logan raises his mug of tea. "To St. John Allerdyce!"

Toad raises his glass, "never another like Captain St. John."

"He was a gentleman of fortune, he was," Lance states.

"He was a good man," Rogue says through gritted teeth.

Remy says nothing, but takes a sip. Rogue can't. Remy looks over at her. She looks like she's about to cry. He doesn't know how to feel or what to say, but the script insists he say, "If there was anything to be done to bring him back…" He stands up, "Anna."

"Would you do it?" Storm asks suddenly. "Hm? What would you… hm? What would any of you be willing to do, hm? Would you sail to the ends of the Earth and beyond to fetch back witty Johnny and him precious _Pearl_?"

Logan is the first to answer, "aye." Mostly, this is because he wants to tear him apart for kissing Rogue.

Lance stands up, "aye."

Toad stands up, "aye."

The IAR parrot squawks, "aye."

Rogue nods, "yes."

Remy nods, "aye." This is also for the same reason as Logan.

Storm grins evilly. "All right. But if you go and brave the weird and haunted shores at world's end… then you will need a captain who knows those waters."

A boot steps down onto the top stair, followed by another and another. Slowly, Magneto walks down the stairs. "So tell me, what's become of my ship?" The undead IAR monkey jumps onto his shoulder. He bites an apple and starts laughing.

The scene changes back to the Pelegosta island. The tribe dances as Rahne sits on the throne holding a very large bone.

"And cut!" Raven says, "finally!"

"It's over?" Lightning asks.

"Yup!"

Most of the cast starts cheering. Rogue jumps up and starts running to the bathroom. Raven stops her and grabs the power inhibitor. Rogue would be more upset to lose it if she didn't need to throw up so badly.

Remy glares at his future, from-another-dimension daughter. "Where… is… he?"

"Behind the army of squirrels," Raven squeaks. She actually looks frightened.

"T'ose squirrels don't stand a chance," Remy growls.

Pyro's eyes grow huge. "Now, now, Gambit… it was in the bloody script!"

"You… will… die!"

"I didn't want to kiss her! I just want to kiss Wanda!" Johnny screams as the squirrels start defending him against the onslaught of charged cards and bo-staff attacks.

Raven winces, "Ooo, that looks painful." A squirrel flies by her. She catches it and sets it down safely.

Lightning grabs her, and moves her out of the way of the debree. "And now I see your point about waiting until we're married…"

Raven winces in his arms. "Totally…"

Jean's eyes are also wide with fright. "I, um, see where you got your temper, Raven."

"I actually have my mother's temper," Raven says, wincing. "Papa rarely gets mad, but when he does… Watch out for the… set… We're going to need that… eventually…"

"Raven," Gambit says.

"Oui, Papa?"

"Shut… up…"

"Oui, Papa."

Lightning holds her tightly, "I need to get you out of here. I'm going to go a little crazy if I don't get you out of here…"

"Okay!" she agrees. "Maybe things will go better next time…" They leave.

The door bursts open and the DPD file in. "Freeze, DPD!" Manning shouts.

Manning gets hit on the head with a flying squirrel that is carrying a flame thrower.

"I don't even want to know!" He says, turning around and leaving. The other DPD officers file out after him.

"AAAAAHHHHH!" Pyro screams.

* * *

To be continued. . .

* * *

**A/N: **

(1) I do not own Kool-Aid. Thank you.

Person who loves this fic, Aww, thank you! I'm glad I could make your day. I do try to acknowledge my reviewers. As for Gambit forgiving Pyro… I think it's going to take some time…

Wow… I can't believe I wrote this chapter in one sitting… The last few scenes were shorter than most. Okay, here is the deal: Due to Pyro's health, Remy's temper, Rogue's stomach, the length it takes to write the MOTC chapters, and me being tired of pirates (I know, how can I be tired of pirates, right?)… I will not be writing MOTC 3 next… I need a pirate break… So the next installment of "Raven and Lightning present" will be Labyrinth! Thank you all. I hope you've enjoyed the ride!


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